Queer Rant

Pork Wonderland

2009-12-06T12:50:00.002+08:00

One really great thing about being in East Malaysia is that people here do not meddle into other people business much, they are rather open minded and live life along each other regardless of what background the next person may have. How many shops in West Malaysia with this sign "Babi Segar!" (Fresh Pork!)? How many graveyards in West Malaysia that has Chinese and Muslim graveyard situated right next to each other? It is a general consensus that East Malaysia must keep it's doors restricted period.

Nuff' said.

Back to the pork. There is this wonderful place that sells nothing but pork. Barbecue pork to be precise. Ten shops or so sells this and done in such rustic manner. Fire, pork and flip. With a little dip of specially made chili sauce, it tastes heavenly. Serve this along with a few bottle of beer (RM 10 for 3 cans) and dinner is served. This place never fails to be packed. I usually will pack and eat with friends over a movie.

Lotsa pork on the grill!

For those with strict diet, you have no idea what you are missing out. At least have a try and savour it before you take an hour run in the park.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Perfect Children

2009-11-22T14:15:00.002+08:00

Watching Glee made me thought of something. The geek, nerdy, self centered and annoying Rachel Berry got me thinking. Honestly of all the characters, it had to be the one that I will strangle if I meet her in real life... Either way, it got me thinking about the perfect children born into a family of two gay dads.

What would they look like?

What would they be like in school?

What would they be when they grow up?

Que Sera Sera indeed.

The few things I do know that I want are their sex, school activities and list of careers not to take.

First, I prefer having boys. Very "little-soccer-team" family I know but I think having girls will give a load of headache especially when swarm of boys circling around her and high chance of her ending up a spinster. Good quality boys are an endangered species. They are sparse and they are highly probably gay. I would probably the terrifying dad when it comes to meeting my daughter's boyfriend. Every details about him will be scrutinized! So no girls for me or maximum one will do.

The boys will also excel academically along with sports, music, arts and literature. They can have their choice sport they like. Soccer, swimming, ice skating or fencing, whatever to keep them active, healthy and fit. I have always love listening to orchestras and now I can have live performance with my boys mastering strings, brass, percussions and woodwinds. Then to top it off, arts and literature. Be involve in drama classes or Glee Club!

Tall order, I know.

Scary, I know.

Can the boys make it through this boot camp? I am optimistic of it.

Well it is only until they start university. The list is just basic groundwork for them to build their future on. I believe they will do just fine. Tough being a kid these days huh?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Empty Spaces

2009-11-21T15:15:00.003+08:00

The Doctor was here visiting for 10 nights, right after his trip to the UK. Poor feller was having jet leg and sleeping at odd hours following UK timing. That was a blessing in disguised, him sleeping while I was away for work during the day time and both of us together when he was awake. Not sure if he spent most nights observing me sleep.

We stayed in a service apartment, Princess Pei Pei's service apartment. She was kind enough to loan it to us to use while she was away in France (hopefully) flirting away with non-housewife-beater-looking European men. The place had all the necessities we needed bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and living hall. I practically moved out of my Red Boudoir and moved in with The Doctor. There we started our life of living together.It was a blissful 10 nights.

I wake up in the morning to prepare to go to work, he was already up making breakfast and lunch box for me.

I come back from work, he was making dinner.

I wash the dishes, he was playing with Happy Aquarium.

We sat on the couch, watched the tv and talked about how our day was and what we did.

Time for bed and the day starts all over again.

Soon enough, our 10 nights ended and we said our goodbyes in the airport. It was a sad occasion but no worries, we will meet again next month for Christmas and the New Year. Goodbyes are never easy though.

I went back to the apartment again to pick up some things I left behind. The place, even though identical in every way, felt very lonely and quiet. Only traces of memories of two people cheerfully talking and laughing linger as I stood at the door looking into the apartment. Flashes of images of The Doctor standing in front of the stove cooking delicious dinner. Everything I touched resurfaces the memories when he was here but I continued packing.

As I left the apartment I thought I heard The Doctor said, "Have a good day at work dear". I turned but all I saw was an empty space. I closed the door and left the apartment.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Red Boudoir

2009-11-07T17:25:00.000+08:00

It took a year and the influence of Paul's constant furniture shopping spree did I decide to makeover my room into a boudoir! It all started with a red curtain. Not just any plain red curtain but red curtain with suade flower patterns. It is a pretty curtain and it quickly become the center piece of which I decorated my room around. Red is the theme of my boudoir.

Then I saw a medium sized carpet that completely took my breath away. Yes, it is red and it has a dark shade to it when you swipe it across. Two toned material. Nice! More than just a pretty carpet, it is extremely comfy to sleep on and roll on. Pretty and comfy. Pretty comfy. I really love the carpet. To make the carpet even more comfy and homey, pillows! Big or small, I need to have pillows on the carpet. So everyone can sit on the carpet, hug the pillow and chill.

My Little Red Boudoir

I think neon white lights are such horrid lightings for a boudoir. It did not take me long to find a lovely lamp. Dragging the huge box to KL Central, a flight from KL and retrieving it from the conveyor belt was all it took for this pretty hanging lamp to arrive to my room. Lovely yellow light emphasises the redness of the room.

Still, there are a few more items I need before my boudoir is complete. A lovely low tv bench to put in front of my bed, an iMac on the low tv bench, matching red quilt set and more pillows for my carpet. This would probably take me another year to do it.

Hmmmm.

How about a red beanbag to sit on?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Know Your Lyrics!

2009-11-01T19:45:00.000+08:00

I have never really liked Macy Gray since her debut many years ago. "I Try" was the first song I listened to in the radio and it was the "it" song. Everybody knew the lyrics and everywhere I go, they surely will be playing the song. I admit, her hair did scare the crap out of me. It is a death trap for small creatures that unfortunately fallen into her hair.

But her hair was not the reason I disliked her. I did not know why I disliked her till a few days ago when Princes Pei Pei played the song. Then this verse came up.

I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Little did I know, the line "My world crumbles when you are not near" is the correct line and all these while, I have been hearing it as "I wore goggles when you are not here"... At that moment, I knew why I disliked the song because "I wore goggles when you are not here" did not made any sense in the entire song and that really bugged me whenever I listened to the song.

You can tell that everyone had a good laugh when I tried to correct that line to Princess Pei Pei.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Life Of Debts

2009-10-25T16:55:00.002+08:00

Guess you can say that I have entered another phase of adulthood. I am well on my way to complete the infamous 5 C's. Car, Credit Card, Club House, Condominium and I have no idea what the last "C" is. I do not suppose it is Career? Whatever it is, I have achieved two now. Credit Card was first (bless the person who thought of it!).

And now for the second "C", a Car!

My new ride!

Finally my little own ride. It is not the Mini Cooper but it does the trick for me. It would be the perfect car for me if the engine has a little more "umph". It is annoying trying to overtake with this car or going up a hill.

But still I love my car very much. So far, I have washed, waxed and shined the car every weekend now. It is the monsoon season and I love driving in the rain but it is a bitch to wash of the stains from puddles of water. Stains are very noticeable against black background.

Having a car is amazingly liberating. Especially here where there are no public transportations to speak off and taxis do not run on meter. Best thing is when I am driving around and listening to music. The first CD I got is Madonna Celebration. Wonderful album I must say. No other perfect way to officiate my car.

As wonderful as having the car sounds, it comes with a price. A car is not something that can be bought with cash in hand but requires financial aid from financial institutions. So every month, I get my salary slashed to keep my pretty car. So part of life is living a life of debts?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Disconnected

2009-10-18T11:10:00.003+08:00

In this day and age, being disconnected from the world is unthinkable. Not being able to contact a person in the stone age is understandable, not the 21st century where everyone is literally hot wired to the "network". But as Murphy said, "what can go wrong, will go wrong". Murphy's Law is a bitch, period...

It turned out my SIM card is busted... Busted on a Saturday after I paid my bills on Friday and after the lady asked, "How's your iPhone?". Very well indeed...

Try being surrounded by people while in a mall and your phone disconnected from the network. It's a very interesting experience. The feeling of disconnected despite having so many people around.

So very disconnected...

I want my connection back...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Sympathique

2009-10-01T21:10:00.001+08:00

I was right about the splint being a magnet of attraction and sympathy. I could not take a single step without the "OMG. You poor thing! What happened to you?". Naturally, I smiled and replied to each and everyone of them the same answer like playing a broken record. I should have gotten a parrot and that would save me so much time and effort to explain. Or maybe a "I got Carpal Tunnel Syndrome" sign pinned on my shirt?

But I must say, they are kind to be concerned.

My supervisors were also deeply concerned. Can I type? How fast? Does it hurt? Were all the questions flying to me. Luckily I have a partner to help me out during my healing period. Sure I can do most of the work, just that typing is a bitch and holding a mouse is trickier than trying to pick a marble with a pair of slippery flat Korean metal chopsticks...

It was a very "Sympathize QR Day".

I was filled with so much sympathy that I could not help but show some of it to some of them in my office.

Person: Oh my. What happened to your hand?
Me: Ah just Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. No fuss.
P: That sounds serious! Do you usually get this disease?
M: Uh... STD is a disease. This is a condition...

I truly sympathize...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Reap What Others Sow

2009-09-30T00:40:00.000+08:00

All week long when I was offshore, food wastes were tossed into the sea. Waste not, want not. What better way than to feed the fishes. They say looking at fishes swim about give a sense of serenity and it does. Maybe it is part serene and part amusement when the fishes fight for the food. It is good for the soul after all.

It is what I look forward to everyday to feed the fishes and watch them swim after a laborious day of work. Tossing food overboard from the platform and looking down onto the fishes chow down on lunch. Did not take the others to start fishing upon seeing swarms of fishes gathering around the leftovers. It is an easy catch after all when all the fishes are on frenzy feast.

Fish they did but it took a little ingenuity. These fishes are not as dumb as they seemed. Fishing hook must be kept well hidden in the bait. Bury the hook deep into the chicken wing or attach pieces of sausages around the hook. Fool the fish and you get dinner.

This bugger weights nearly three kilograms!

That is enough to feed a family of three but the fishes on my platform are considered small. The big fishes are on another platform and the size of it are huge! Think barbecue party for ten.

So perhaps it is part serene, amusement and amazement.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Favourite

2009-09-26T11:25:00.003+08:00

After notifying my supervisors of my hand and wrist injury, I think they panic and went on an overly concerned mode. They kept asking about the orthopedic diagnosis and what the prognosis is. So much so, they kept trying to reach me and finally when they got a hold on me:

SV: QR, hello. How's the hand?
QR: It's alright. Just keeping it idle.
SV: Alright. I would like you to clear your leave. Take a week off. You've been offshore for far too long.
QR: Leave? Who? What? Why? Do you have enough people in the office?
SV: Yea no worries.

Honestly, I never saw this coming from my "Rule with an iron fist" Supervisor but I am not complaining. My other colleagues are envious but they are not surprised as they dubbed me as "The Favourite". I shall gladly take the leave. Well I am already into the leave in KL! The Doctor insists that I come back so he can work his "magic healing" on my hand and wrist through some sort of endurance training that involves the bed... I am starting to doubt he's a real doctor.

My poor disabled hand.

As for the orthopedics' diagnosis, it is a mild case of CTS. I am to keep my wrist immobile as much as possible to let the nerve heal naturally. This means less autoeroticism activities with the right hand, less typing, basically less everything with the right hand. I have to be a lefty till the right hand is better. So the doctor instructed me to wear a splint.

Claw of The Disabled Hand!

So unglam and straight right... Why could it not be pink with glitters?! I need rhinestones and turn it into an accessory ala Lady Gaga. However it is good for one thing, it attracts attention and sympathy! Yes I bask in attention and sympathy. Such attention whore I know.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Pulling Invisible Strings

2009-09-23T08:15:00.001+08:00

Quote Yer how nice to have a doctor for a BF unquote. Wise words from Alexander The Gay while The Doctor was consulting him work related injury claim. Milk them for all they are worth as they say but unfortunately, no good news on the claiming. No matter, I got something else just as good.

Apparently The Doctor has been making many calls about my hand/wrist injury. Starting with the medic. I gasped and almost had a fit when I heard he called the medic. He called me but I could not be reached so he asked for the medic instead. I was expecting a lecture from The Doctor and wounded the medic's ego so much that he will jump off the platform and never to be seen again. No such thing happened.

Instead, it was the Medical Officer and Houseman authoritative communication system, "do as I say or I'll spank you in front of the patients". The Doctor insists that the syndromes are consistent with CTS and I should be sent home. More work will aggravate the condition. Lo and behold, the medic said alright and I'm going home tomorrow by chopper!

Talk about a medical evacuation.

The medic till now still is not convinced it is CTS. Muscle strain or nerve problem were his prognosis from repetitive work. Does that not sound like CTS... Better still he still thinks it is possibly gout, no matter how remote the chances of me getting that.

I will go to the hospital tomorrow and meet an orthopedic for a clinical diagnosis on my poor right hand. I wonder if I need a wrist guard... Are wrist guard the "in" thing now?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Painkiller The New Penicillin?

2009-09-22T07:20:00.002+08:00

People only appreciate something once it is lost, definitely true with my thumb. No I did not loose my thumb but it's temporarily having restrictive movements and unable to handle stress and strain. Stress injury from work I reckon. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is a bitch or so I suspect it is CTS. Repetitive motion on my right hand mainly opening metal taps for sampling crude oil, weakness while using my thumb and pain when gripping on something. Sounds like CTS.

I went to the medic for consultation and boy was I amused. I explained to him the condition of my thumb, he took a look at it and felt the area surrounding my thumb. There's a slight swelling but nothing too significant like the size of a turkey drumstick. Just a little bigger than usual and it is soft.

Maybe it is gout he said even after asking if I've been having red meat for my meals. I don't overdose myself with protein if that was what he was going at. Not like I have much use for those excess protein here anyways. I am not lifting weights to build mass nor do I have bulky muscles to sustain them... I have even attempted to suggest that it may be CTS but judging from his expression I might as well have some exotic tropical disease like Ebola...

I think The Doctor was practically rolling his eyes when I told him what the medic said. He would throw a fit at the medic if he is here. Maybe a man overboard drill too. Gotta love The Doctor for his charms.

So what does the medic do when presented a patient that is experiencing the above syndromes? Give him painkillers and tell the patient to observe the following days. Sounds like the early days of antibiotic. Fever? Here have a jab of Penicillin.

I hope my thumb gets well in the following days. Shall give the thumb a little break. What a great excuse to be idle out here in the sea and feed the fishes!

I shall stop typing now. I do not want to risk injuring it more. How am I to perform my daily ritual of autoeroticism?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Those Aren't For You

2009-09-21T07:30:00.004+08:00

The Doctor always say I'm too nice for my own good. Not able to say no to many things and when I do say no to something, I do it ever so gently and polite with a smile. I swear I was born to be in the service industry rather than in oil and gas industry. I can so imagine myself being the star barista in Starbucks or a dolly trolley air steward.

Take my recent encounter with a Jehovah's Witness. Apparently my aunt gave my number to this preacher with the assumption I might be interested to be saved by the Lord. If only she knew I like to take it up the rear. Then again, whoever thought I am straight are deft, blind and dumb in more ways than one...

So this preacher gave me a call and I get very weary when unregistered number calls me. I picked up the call regardless and he started introducing himself and all that jazz. It was rather long winded but I endured with my eyes constantly rolling in my eye sockets. When he asked if I was interested, I said "No but thanks anyways. Appreciate it much.". Silly bottom as The Doctor puts it.

The things I do to be nice but that slight irritation was considered mild compared this.

I share a room with another offshore technician when I'm offshore. It was a typical after working hours relaxing in the room. I was playing with my iPhone and my laptop was playing Janet Seidel. I was on the bottom bunk while he was on the top bunk looking down at laptop.

Then he asked if he could take a look at my laptop and I allowed it. Nothing to hide really except some files in "Unsorted Torrents" folder. Eventually he got to that folder.

Bummer...

Maybe he won't noticed the few porn I have stashed in there but he saw it! How can he missed it with title Cream BBoys or School Boys Gone Wild and he opened one of the file The introduction video rolled in.

OT: Oh what's this?
Me: Hmmmm those aren't for you. Close close.
OT: (he fast forward the scene) Wah. Are they trans?
Me: Uh no. They're real guys.
OT: Ooooo.

I couldn't tell what his expressions were. Amazement or confusion. Maybe he knew since day one he met me? Anyhow, I left him for further exploration while I chat with The Doctor over the phone. He did open a few more, I could hear the moans of pleasure from the porn.

Silly bottom indeed...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

QR Is Back!

2009-09-20T07:30:00.001+08:00

Good gosh! My dear blog has been left unattended for two months and will you look at the virtual dusts that settled on it... Resuscitating a dying blog sure is hard especially when the momentum of blogging has been lost. I kinda feel a little weird typing this post even!

This is the price I paid for being ever so busy and workaholic at work, not forgetting the constant hitch offshore for several weeks. I'm well albeit tired from constant hard day's work, be it physical labour of the ever tiring job of "tai chi" paperwork. How else am I going to feed myself, yes?

Anyhow, I have several posts lined up for the coming days. So stay tune.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Sober

2009-07-14T07:35:00.002+08:00

Hello.

My name is Queer Ranter and I am 24 days sober.

I have not has a single drop of alcohol nor have I had a sexual encounter since. I would like all of you to join me on freeing yourself from alcohol and sexual deviants. Discover what it truly feels to be alive substance free and addiction free. Salvation is at hand.

Come my sistas. Come into the light.

Clearly offshore is getting into my head real bad...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Cuddling Cuddles

2009-07-08T10:15:00.004+08:00

The next morning was not filled much with exciting events. I was still too groggy to do anything. Just wished I could have slept for a few more hours. It was a very slow Saturday morning. Slow as it was, there were many things to prepare for the upcoming Christmas dinner. Those mostly involved hand and eye coordinations while our mouths constantly chattering of the latest gossips and munching some of the food that we made.

By night, the house was filled with guests. There was a theme for the dinner but it seemed that no one received the memo. I myself did not adhere to the theme. Lack of time to shop for clothes. But I was only interested in two things, the drinks and The Doctor. There was so much drinks that we had several bottles left unopened, enough for another party. I was very satisfied with the constant flow of Bailey and that made me drunk enough to start acting and talking silly.

Throughout the night, I was by The Doctor's side. The accidental glances, gentle strokes on his back and purposely resting my head on his shoulders. I craved for the intimacy from such physical interaction since that fateful cold night. It was truly public display of affection on my part.

As the night went by, alcohol started to take it's affect on everyone including The Doctor who's a sturdy drinker. Then something unexpected happened in the kitchen as I was thirstily seeking refills for my Bailey. I was alone in the kitchen and I felt someone was by the kitchen door. I turned to see and it was The Doctor. I just smiled at him and asked if he wanted a refill. He did not answer but instead he walked towards me. With his gentle hands he held the back of my head and kissed me.

What a passionate kiss it was.

The noise from the party faded away and I was in Cloud Nine. Nothing else mattered but to hold him tight. Felt like time stood still and it was going on forever but alas, slowly the noise crept in and I gained my bearings. I gazed into his eyes as he gazed into mine. What beautiful eyes they were and I felt safe in his embrace.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Blossoming

2009-07-07T16:15:00.002+08:00

Eventually we arrived at Paul's abode. I could not tell what was Paul's expression of the uninvited guest that we invited. He welcomed The Doctor with such grace that one would expect from Paul, such uncanny resemblance to The White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.

While sitting on the couch next to The Doctor and watching Paul's family playing The Game of Life, Sam urged me to get closer to The Doctor. I was afraid the sudden close proximity might dismayed The Doctor but I inched myself closer to him regardless. I wanted to touch him, feel him but again something held me back. Sam forcefully took my right hand and put it on The Doctor's shoulder. Sam has always been the one to push me to take bold steps to what I wanted and I am grateful for that. I stroked him on his back and felt the warmth of his body.

Driving on the highway for three hours took a toll on me. Accumulate the driving and the fact that I only just landed few days back, I was extremely tired by then. A quick hot shower and change of lazy clothes were all I needed before sleeping. Despite sleeping on the carpet with bedsheets as covering and makeshift blanket, I slept like a baby.

That was until the temperature of the room went well below my cool climate tolerance. I began to shiver uncontrollably and curled up like a fetus. Bones quivering desperately to fight off the cold but it was to no avail. Finally, The Doctor who was sleeping next to me woke up and hugged me while stroking my body to generate heat. The quivers slowed down and I fell back into peaceful slumber in his arms.

His soft hands and tender strokes. Those were the last memory I remembered.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Tale Of The Doctor

2009-07-06T20:55:00.003+08:00

It all started when The Doctor came into picture in our blogger group. He was the new "buzz", the "it" person and the new member into the family. Eventually this news reached this part of the world and it made me wonder who this person was with all the buzz generated. I opened his Facebook account and it did generate a slight interest but nothing more than just for curiosity sake.

As time went by, more news of The Doctor came to my ears. It seemed that he was not only the "it" person in the group but also the "it" person with suitors flocking from all four corners of the world. That raised my eyebrow even more because two of the suitors I know were two close people I know Sam and McDave. Put it this way, it caused quite a stir. I awaited for more news of The Doctor and his suitors to come like wives of WW2 await news from their husbands fighting on the battlefront.

Soon enough December came and I was back in civilization for the festive season of Christmas and New Year. The other doctor, Paul, was throwing a Christmas party in Malacca. A party which I have been missing and almost missed it. Sam and I decided we should extend the party invitation to The Doctor despite us being the guests to the party. The Doctor was hesitant at first but gave into the idea with much effort in persuading.

The agreement was we picked up The Doctor from his place and went on with our drive down South. He was standing on the curb waiting when we arrived. From the look on his face, it was obvious he would have died if he had to wait for another five minutes. It was not exactly the look I was hoping for. None the less, I decided to provoke him even more by honking and calling him a woman. He was not at all thrilled by it but it got the introduction going.

Somewhere along the drive something happened. I felt a certain attraction to The Doctor sitting on the passenger seat behind me. I could not help but constantly glimpsing at the rear view mirror while driving on the highway packed with cars. He was wearing his sunnies looking out at the sceneries passing by.

I felt I may have found the love of my life.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Instant Noodles

2009-07-05T08:05:00.002+08:00

What is it about instant noodles that people around me seems to think that it is the most important bare essential food ever? Sure I have cravings once in a blue moon for instant noodles but to think it is survival food? I don't get that. Potato of the modern time? Our ancestors survived on sweet potatoes during the Communist rule and we survive on instant noodles.

I remember when I was in high school, instant noodles seemed to be the staple supper. Put the instant noodle and water into the bowl, pop it into the microwave machine and supper is ready. The instant noodle of choice back then was Indo Mee original flavour. I wonder if it's because the majority of the students were Indonesian.

I guess it's understandable when these people are out at sea. All they need is hot water and in five minutes they have a meal. Short lunch break leaves plenty more time to sleep or continue work. And for those night manning the platform, the instant noodle boxes are good enough substitute for a soft mattress. Lay the boxes on hard steel grating and you have a bed. I've heard they've fought over boxes before...

I can say working offshore has two extreme living conditions, luxurious and spartan. Luxurious living condition like on a drilling rig and spartan on the platform that only has the basic necessities but these are all a question of relative to what.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Guy Next Door Is...

2009-07-04T07:45:00.002+08:00

Bulimic. Well it's just a wild speculation from one encounter. It was right after dinner time and I was in my room watching The Tudors. Two rooms share the shower and toilet. It joins the two room together but the wall's soundproofing quality is questionable. I can hear the shower like the rain outside the window. The toilet flushes like it's a blackhole sucking everything in in an instant, very loud indeed.

As I was watching The Tudors, I heard the sound of constant puking and constant flushing coming from the toilet. It didn't sound like natural puking. The intervals of the puking feels rather unnatural. No I'm no puke expert but I've done a fair share of puking on daily boats to offshore platforms to know what it would sound like.

I can still imagine the rhythm in my head.

Sticks finger in. A second of silence. Pukes. Flushes.

Sticks finger in. A second of silence. Pukes. Flushes.

That was how it was.

I was not disgusted but more curious as to why he did it, if it is true that he's bulimic. I can never bring myself to waste food like that. The food here is too good to be wasted like that. Just don't eat so much if weight is the worry factor. A little bit of everything will do.

Same goes to alcohol. You'll never catch me puking it out. Alcohol is just too good to be wasted like that. I treasure my alcohol very much.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Waterspout

2009-07-03T08:15:00.003+08:00

There are many interesting things out here at sea. I got to see sea snake, turtle, lots and lots of fishes, lobsters and barnacles. Then there's always stories about waterspouts forming near the platforms but never seen one till yesterday. I wish I could say it was a spectacular sight and life changing experience but it was too far away to say so...

Still it was amazing to see the waterspout formed. The familiar nozzle shaped cloud approaching the sea and fast gushing winds flowing upwards forming a bowl shaped water curtain. Then slowly but surely the nozzle shaped cloud touched down on the sea surface. All the while when it was forming, I was in awe.

I just wished that it formed closer then I can take a photo of it as it happens.

Windy day on the sea.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Lean Mass Or Fat Mass?

2009-07-02T21:55:00.000+08:00

Barely two weeks and I have put on a solid 2 kg despite the workouts!? This is an outrage! There is only one person to blame and that's me. Couldn't resist the food especially their western food. Pies, roast lamb, roast beef, meat loaf, meat balls and many more. The local food are pretty wicked too. You'd put on weight too if you were here I reckon.

One way to console myself, I'm convinced it is water retention or I've actually gained muscle mass on my legs. Don't burst my bubble now. I'm sure it's either one of the two.

Then today a miracle happened. I lost 800 grams! Awesome huh! Ok, maybe not the biggest achievement compared to The Biggest Loser. A glimmer of hope. Small and distant but still hope.

Must focus, my unworn newly bought trousers!

Oh and they make yummy fluffy pancakes for breakfast. Pancake and maple syrup are such a lovely way to begin the day with.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Say What?

2009-07-01T09:05:00.002+08:00

I don't know why but people on the drilling rig are rather "angry" and always cursing when they're on the job especially the drilling floor. Fuck and shit seems to be the filler of choice whenever they're talking. It's a hardy job for them and they have to be hardy physically and mentally. To survive someone's got to be a little crazy and nuts.

Some more than others. Sometimes we just got to laugh to get it through the day.

That's not a good sign is it?

And this is my favourite. It was left behind by the contractors.

I wonder what "kerja panas" is going on.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Piracy Alert

2009-06-30T08:30:00.001+08:00

When it comes to piracy, all of us are guilty of it I'm sure. MP3s, movies, tv series and etc. But this piracy I'm about to talk about is real piracy and not virtual piracy or DVD peddler piracy. Maybe not those Captain Black Beard of the sort. From what I hear, the pirates in this region wear some sort of bottom, topless and wrap batik cloth on their head.

I swear I'm not making this up.

Some of the offshore guys here I know told me their experiences being boarded or chased by pirates on speedboats. Apparently their speedboats are very speedy and outrun almost any boats out at sea. They even board offshore living quarters! They take everything like food, clothes, equipments and such. The people are only left with their underwear.

Warning! Pirate activity ongoing!

So to warn people around this region about pirate activities, they came out with this anti piracy network of a sort. When there's a distress some where, this printer will print what's happening, where and when. Real time too.

Though the region where I work is safe. It's too close to shore and too far from shady islands. I'd rather not encounter such thing thank you very much.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Stairway To Heaven

2009-06-29T07:45:00.003+08:00

No I don't believe in it neither have I discovered an actual stairway to Heaven. It is this stairway I have to take each time I want to go to the platform or to the drilling rig. It's effing high and effing steep! Not only that, below is 70 ft fall into the blue sea. Effing scary!

Eeeeeeeeeeks!

One good thing from this is Brad Pitt buttocks here I come! Oh and burn them carbs and fats away! Not to mention my boots weighs a ton too. Helps accelerating the burn. Very lovely. I can see my legs are toning up. I'm very pleased with that.

It's just too much of a hassle to have to climb up these stairs up several times a day. Takes too long and too much energy. Makes me want to crash onto my bed after climbing it. Shall have to conjure Brad Pitt's buttocks and keep me focus.

Bubble buttocks...

Bubble buttocks...

Bubble buttocks...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Not The Only Queer In The Village

2009-06-28T08:25:00.002+08:00

If Daffyd was here, he'd be very disappointed to not be the only queer in this island of steel. I can't bloody well prance and shout "I'm the only queer in the village" or wear various leather outfits around the drilling rig now can I? That would be suicidal. The rough-necks might just kill me for it or maybe rampant gang rape...

How loud can one really go?

There are three queers onboard including me. One is a guy I work with closely and the other is a chef in the kitchen. I suspect he's the one doing the baking of all those cookies and pies. Devilish person tempting me with all those carbs! Fear not, I have been able to resist the carb calling. Woohoo kudos to me!

Day one when I was here, the guy that I work with closely stood out like an elephant in the room. Imagine elephant with pink feathered boa and glitters all over. He's the only one with perfectly shaped eyebrows and here's the dead give away, perfume. Yes, he uses perfume. I can literally track where we goes by just following my nose. No one here uses perfume and everyone just smells of sweat, grit and grease. Well just towards the evening.

He's funny as hell though. Never a minute we don't burst out in laughter while doing work on the platform. We laugh louder than the noise made by the machines. Makes people working around us wonder what we are actually doing.

Ah fun times.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

What Is Weekend?

2009-06-27T09:15:00.002+08:00

Barely a week and being offshore has already gotten into me. I'm used to missing out on friend's events or happening parties since I'm so far away from KL... Kinda feel sad sometimes that I can't attend them. There's a saying that I learned from university time, "Visit the people that you love and care when they're alive because it'll be too late to see them in their funeral.".

Anyways, I've forgotten the existence of weekend and I didn't even realised it until I was talking to Lazy Girl on the phone about work and my laundry. Yes she's sort of my senior at work and yes she's sending my laundry for wash. Cool huh?

So I was asking if she remembered to pick up my laundry from my house and of course she forgotten. Poor girl got too many things bugging her at work. I told her to just go see my housemate, who works in the same floor, today at the office and coordinate with her. Little did I know Saturday is a weekend. Weekend as in no work in the office. No work in the office means no one in the office.

Gosh...

What has happened to me. I'm working tomorrow~~~

Office is making unnecessary hoo-haa that made the nice-but-grumpy Company Man being grumpy. No one likes a grumpy man especially when you're stuck on an island of steel.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Cookies

2009-06-26T10:05:00.002+08:00

I am turning into the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street... The galley makes the loveliest cookies I've had! Forget Famous Amos, this is the real deal! Crunchy, buttery and moist chocolate pockets. Pure bliss I tell you and the cookie stays fresh, crunchy and warm throughout the day too.

Cookie~~~

The worse thing is, the cookies are placed in a very "strategic" position. It is by the by side of the entrance in a display... Irresistible...

And to top it off, pies. They have pies!!! They display the pies next to the cookies! Are they trying to kill me with such savory temptations?!

Help me...

My new trousers that I bought. I must fit into it! Fit into it without muffin top~~~

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Just Because

2009-06-25T17:45:00.003+08:00

Starbucks merchandise... Why do they come up with such pretty merchandise?! What is it this time? It is this take-away mug thinggie. Check it out.

Starbucks Merchandise~~~

See see. How can one resist?! It's a must buy because it's so pretty! Gosh such a "just because" purchase. I got one, I just had to then that lazy woman got the other two. Her reason, just cause there's one more so might as well just buy it. Crazy woman...

Someone buy me more Starbucks merchandise?

Please?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Lazy...

2009-06-24T20:05:00.004+08:00

I have never met a girl who's so lazy in my life! She's not lazy in the normal sense. She gets her job done and works rather efficiently. no complaints whatsoever at work. But when it comes to everything else, she's the mother load of laziness... So lazy that she has a dictionary worth of lazy terminologies.

Lazy bag. A cloth bag that has no structure, just hangs as it is and most importantly looks lazy. If some of you have the what-the-fuck look, I don't blame you cause that was my first expression when she said, "I wanna buy a lazy bag.".

Lazy bags...

Then there's the lazy clothes. Basically, clothes that doesn't require any effort in putting on, feels comfy and looks lazy. I never knew there was such a clothing out there! No effort to put on cloths sure there's some out there. Comfy sure but looks lazy?! That takes some serious hunting for it.

I'm just waiting for the day when she asks for lazy food.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

You Were The One...

2009-06-23T16:25:00.002+08:00

I was out shopping the other day with a friend. There's really only one shopping mall here that has the bare minimal of things for us to buy. Better than nothing I guess. But it is some kind of blessing in disguise. Not every trip, if not most trip, to the mall I come out with a purchase. So consider it a mild cardio workout without the burst in the pocket.

There we were in a shop that opened recently selling woman's clothings. They have some nice stuff but mostly clothes from Hong Kong (people here are very into the La-La and Beng-Beng style). As she was trying out some clothes, I was waiting for her outside of the changing room surrounded by mirrors. Naturally, I was staring at myself. Yes narcissist is me.

Then one of the two sales girls approached me and said, "Hey, you're the one who sat next to us on a flight back here.". I was looking at her as she said it but was bewildered. I don't recall flying back here recently. I don't recall flying out of here for that matter.

Me: When was this?
Sales Girl: Oh this was end of April.
Me: Oh gosh really? I don't even recall that flight. So long ago.
Sales Girl: Yea. We remembered.

That left me thinking what did I do that they remembered me so vividly. I don't usually, if ever, recall the person sitting next to me on a flight unless they really stand out. I'm either busy listening to my iPod, watching a movie on my laptop or playing with my iPhone. Nothing out of the ordinary really. Maybe I was reading a book then... I simply can't recall.

It was an outré encounter indeed. But more importantly, what did I do on that fateful flight?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Poco-Poco

2009-06-22T10:15:00.000+08:00

Poco-poco is a dance originally from Indonesia and now it seems to be internationally known. The name originated from an artist who was observing a plump girl dancing in a festival. She was so amused seeing the girl danced and uttered the word "poco-poco" and then wrote a song about it. I wonder what "poco-poco" actually means.

But what is this "poco-poco" dance? Watch the Youtube.

It's basically a dance move that is extremely simple to dance to. Two rights, two lefts, one back, one front and one back and repeat until the song is finished. That's the basic steps and many versions have appeared since then.

Why the sudden blogging about "poco-poco" you may wonder? This dance has been a staple entertainment source whenever there's any sort of functions in my company. When I first heard about it in an induction program, I was flabbergasted. Literally a deer in front of the headlights, moments before the deer turned into a roadkill.

Then just the other day, I got dragged into practicing the "poco-poco"... Spent two hours doing it again and again and again. My knees... This dance is high impact and if I was to do it some more, I'd need a knee replacement. Though it got me all drenched in sweat. My first cardio in eons!

I'm more amazed at the fact that "poco-poco" is, was or kind of a world phenomenon! I was shocked when I was searching for a video clip of "poco-poco" in Youtube. This seemingly silly dance is actually popular out there in the world!

But you'll never catch me saying, "Shall we Poco-Poco?".

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

To The Floating Island of Steel

2009-06-21T05:05:00.002+08:00

Morning folks!

I'm up at five in the morning, getting ready to go to work. Yes, it is five in the morning, it is a Sunday and it is a working day for me. We don't stop producing oil just because it's the weekend. I'm off to go to the drilling rig probably for two or three weeks depending on the manpower that we have to rotate.

I've never been to a drilling rig and I wonder what I will encounter this time. Weird man at sea like the Pinoys from my previous stay offshore? I'll keep you guys posted.

Toddles for now.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

iNase

2009-06-20T12:40:00.003+08:00

This post is actually three months overdue. It's been lying in my draft, dusting away during my long hiatus but it's finally here, posted. It's it my unveiling of my iPhone to everyone in blogsphere! Like all of the gadgets I have, each has a name and this one is iNase after The Doctor.

My precious...

When Maxis first announced the iPhone, I went nuts and craved for it badly. I've been waiting for this phone to hit Malaysian shore for far too long and it was finally here. Since then, the iPhone has never disappoint and has delivered more with all sorts of applications available for download. I'm extremely happy with it despite having a few shortcomings like no MMS, no copy paste function and etc.

All that shortcomings are now history and loads more functionality with the latest OS 3.0. Want to listen to my playlist in my iNase while driving? Simple. Hook it up through bluetooth to the car stereo and play! No more radio transmitter hassle. Fantastic function! I've also been controlling my iTunes using a wicked application called Remote. And now it is possible to listen to the songs and watch movies from my computer through my iPhone using AirPhones. The possibilities are just endless.

Recently Apple unveiled the iPhone 3GS. Amazing improvements were done and still keeping to the same slick and sophisticated design. Double the processing speed, double the capacity and so on. Though I'm not tempted to switch to the iPhone 3GS. The improvements made were not significant enough for me. Sure it would be lovely to have Voice Control but I can do without for now.

Thanks to my dearest Doctor for assisting me in getting my dream iPhone. Though he still complains about not having able to video call me for Edison Chen sessions. He's such a skank and yet accuse me being a skank. Talk about pot calling the kettle black...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Online Obsession

2009-06-19T07:05:00.003+08:00

Back in uni time, there was never a day I won't be playing computer games. DOTA was the name of the game back then. Then that went on a long hiatus right after internship. Internship taught me how valuable time is when all of my working days, twelve or more hours were spent outside of home. Time spent at home was very precious. Tranquility was highly sought after when working in the hustle and bustle city.

But these days, especially when I have ample time in my hands due to technical training, I've been busy clicking away in my Facebook. Not on profiles and comments and likes. It is MouseHunt! And real simple to play. Get a mouse trap, get a mouse bait and sound the hunter's horn every 15 mins to catch mice. Dead simple, easy peasy.

The real treat is to catch all the mice that are available in the game. Pretty artworks and considerable effort was put into the game.

This is an Assassin Mouse.

Very pretty artwork don't you agree?

And they're really creative when it comes to traps too.

Zugzwang's Last Move.

I just love the game. The simplicity of it and the amazing artworks. Give this game a go. It's really fun and amusing.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Watch What You Eat

2009-06-18T07:15:00.002+08:00

I love my food very much. I enjoy cooking them and I enjoy eating them. Food is just too good not to be enjoyed. Though, food is best taken in moderation or it can lead to a myriad of detrimental health conditions. There are however a certain kind of food that makes detrimental health effects seems like a better choice of side effects.

One that I have been hearing constantly since I arrived is the infamous "Nasi Kangkang". I will attempt to translate it through literal translation. "Nasi" = rice and "Kangkang" = legs wide open. So that makes "Legs Wide Open Rice". Imagine ordering it in a restaurant.

Boss! Satu Nasi Goreng Kangkang campur Telur Mata dan Ayam Goreng!

Ewww...

Some say, the "dish" is prepared when the woman is going through her period. During this time, she will literally "kangkang" her legs and squat over a bowl of fresh hot steamy fluffy rice and let the magic do it's magic. Imagine the rich flavors permeating into the rice. Once all that is done, the rice is then served to the man of her heart's desire and will guarantee her hold on him perpetually.

Personally I don't buy into these superstitions or legends. It's just too far fetched for the likes of me to take it into my train of thoughts. I know they say the key to a man's heart is through his stomach but this is a bit much isn't it?

They also say the natives here are very "powerful" with their black magic and they enslave men through this method for a better living. I really don't know what to say about that statement. From my experience, they're really jovial and friendly people. Maybe that's because I'm not messing with their daughters, who knows?

As for the "Nasi Kangkang", that's just plain weird...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Big Toys For Big Boys

2009-06-17T07:40:00.001+08:00

It really awesome working in the oil and gas industry. Big toys, big machineries, hard steels and hardhats are all part of the job. Grit, grime, brine and oil is part of everyday operations. If you're not doing work, it shows on your coverall and boots. Stains on the coverall and scratches on the boot surface are tell tale signs. But those are nothing compared to the rare occasions that a drilling rig (rigs and platforms are different things) comes along.

The photo is an example of a drilling rig. It's humungous!

This thing drills really deep.

I haven't been on this drilling rig yet but sometime next week I will. I wonder how's it like in this gigantic floating island of steel. I heard the galley is awesome and serves good food too.

Oh nos~~~

Fats!!!

Must resist.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

I Need Wheels!

2009-06-16T08:10:00.004+08:00

Nine months of working and hitchhiking to go to and from work, I have decided to get a car. Not having a car and be mobile is getting into me. It's not convenient to move around grocery shopping or for an outing with friends and none of us having a car. Taxis here use fix rate. That's twenty bucks to the city. One way. And another twenty bucks going back. Madness.

So I set out to find what cars I'd like to have and I decided on three options. Toyota Vios, Perodua Myvi and Proton Satria Neo. But it is unlikely I'll be able to afford the Vios with a hefty price tag of 75 thousand minimum... I'll have to forgo that option. Sigh. I'm rather wary of owning a second hand car and the price is close to owning a new one. No point really...

Between the Myvi and Satria Neo, I'm not sure which. I've driven the Myvi but have yet to try the Satria Neo. I do like the Myvi but it lacks in engine power I feel. It could use a little push in that department I reckon. Anyone using or driven a Satria Neo before?

My dream car... If only the Vios isn't ridiculously expensive.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Heatwaves

2009-06-15T06:55:00.001+08:00

Normally people would complain about the weather being inconsistent like Katy Perry's Hot and Cold. It'll drive anyone to the brink of madness having sudden rain every five minutes. It's just as bad when you know the weather is going to be consistently scorching hot, day and night. Imagine 35 degrees Celsius constantly in the room...

Worse is at night when the weather is cool outside but the heat of the entire house is trapped in my room and the bed starts to act as a heater giving off trapped heat accumulated during the day time. Talk about the Greenhouse Effect in the house... I'm very tempted to turn on the air conditioning but it takes a lot of power to do so. Poking a gigantic hole to the rooftop has crossed my mind before. The only way to combat off the heat is a freezing cold glass of drink (the drinks even warm up to room temperature in minutes...), being in the nude and constant trips to the shower. Even that doesn't stop me from sweating like I just did a full Ironman Marathon.

Being surrounded by jungle fires does anything but make the weather cooler. Seems to be the season to start jungle fires for new crops. It got so bad that every night, smell of smoke permeates the air and constant haze. Even in such condition, I spotted my buffoon neighbour burning garbage in the open. What's wrong with throwing garbage into the garbage bin?

Weather forecast says it'll rain for the entire week. I really do hope it does. In fact, I'm hoping for a tropical storm. It's been awhile since it hit the city. Shall I do my native rain dance with my rain stick around the house?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Retrospection

2009-06-14T07:25:00.004+08:00

Emails between the blogging group have been awfully silent these days. Perhaps it could be just me, not being included in the list since my move here to the Borneo Island. Never the less, it just seems very quiet. I do miss the days getting torrents of emails every hour. But then again, back then I have the luxury of time to actively spam replies back.

Even the chats have been a thing of a past. I used to have at least five window chats open at any given time but not anymore. I've only been chatting with a constant few online every night, namely The Doctor. It's either I'm busy or they're busy or I'm just feeling tired and sleeping early. Such is the consequences of work and horrendous weather.

In a way, I am glad that we had our Thailand trip two years back (gosh it's been that long...). A piece of memory I cherish dearly. First time ever to travel with so many queers to a foreign land, moreover to the Land of Smiles, the Land of Heritage, the Land of Shopping, the Land of Masseurs and Land of Beautiful Boys. I would love to return to Bangkok one day. So much more to discover and so much more to shop!

I shall make it an effort to travel at least once a year to any country. Plans to travel next year have already been planned with The Doctor. I'm thinking of going to Melbourne to visit as well and I do hope there's cheap flights for it. Snowboarding during the winter with The Doctor, my sister and brother in law. Sounds like a perfect plan.

Well there's no use in dwelling in the past. Will have to do with the present and make it better.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Winds Of Change

2009-06-13T13:55:00.005+08:00

Yes! I'm back from a few months long hiatus. Plenty things have change, yet plenty have remained the same. For one, I've decided to change the outlook of my blog again. I needed something new for my blog. Something a little brighter and cheerful but nothing too overly colourful. This template is just nice for my liking.

Updates on the career front. Things are going well though most of the time, I'm away for trainings. One and a half month worth of training is taking a toll on me. Slacking creeps in. I do hope I can build enough momentum to start working at my normal pace again. I'm now a permanent staff at work too. My probation period is over. Woohoo.

Updates on my love life. Things between The Doctor and I are going well with the occasional bumps here and there. It's been half a year come this month. He was here for Gawai long weekend. All my housemates were away and I had their car to drive around. We went grocery shopping, we cooked, we drove around sight seeing, we camwhored, we made noisy bonking and watched Twilight (we fell "asleep" halfway). A glimpse of what domesticated life we'll lead if we were to move into a house.

Updates on me. I am now officially the Domesticated Fairy. I go grocery shopping and cook for the house. Only on weekends though cause that's when I have the whole day to prepare. I'm slowly collecting and learning cooking recipes.

That's all the updates for now. I'm sure more will come as I blog. Feels good to be back.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Emily?

2009-03-21T08:20:00.003+08:00

Not just one but TWO Emily!!! Yes, two trainees are being assigned to me starting Monday for a little project of updating our ancient useless database. So I get to manage them and be bossy on them. Shall I take a roll of Miranda Priestly? Nah, I'm too nice of a guy to drill them like that.

Seven months into the job and already I have two people temporarily reporting to me. How fun is that! My supervisor says, "its time to expose you to managing people". It just gets more interesting each time. More responsibilities are passed to me and my schedule gets busier and busier. A lot of planning and coordinating. I have to say, I'm slowly enjoying it.

Job satisfaction? 110 percent!

Sure I was extremely tired for the past week but hell I got things done. I even brought home work! Me?! Working at home. How out of character... Perhaps there's some truth in "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down". Not too much sugar though or you might just get diabetes.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Now EVERYONE Can Read!

2009-03-16T07:50:00.004+08:00

Take a moment to think this. What was the last book you finished (cover to cover) reading? Are you reading anything at the moment? If the answers are no and no, then shame on you! No matter. If the reason is no time, the solution is make time! If the reason is book is fark expensive to buy in Malaysia I have a solution.

Behold cheap cheap books for everyone here!

Don't get me wrong. I love Kinokuniya very much but I love my wallet more. Yes the typical Chinese in me is irresistible to cheap cheap buys like these. I nearly went out of control buying books when I was in the shop. Thank goodness I only had limited amount of time to browse as they were closing or I might just come out with a trolley filled to the brim with books.

These are the books that I got.

Both of these books only cost under RM 40 total! That's equivalent of an average one paperback from Kinokuniya! This place may not have all the books out there but its got a fairshare of books. There's no delivery service so you'll have to go to the shop located in Ampcorp Mall to buy the books. But do check their website for their booklisting.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Sista Sista In Search of Pai Kuat Wong

2009-03-15T09:05:00.000+08:00

Shit! Fuck good man! That was my expression when my teeth sank into the crispy and crunchy outer skin soaked with a sprinkle of sweet sauce and the meat so succulent and tender. Worth the drive to Klang and through countless traffic jams for it. It reminded me of the movie Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.

We were stuffed after eating fried mince meat balls, assam fish, fried fish, pork knuckles in vinegar, tofu with minced pork, pork ribs, water convolvulus, pickled vegetable and seven glasses of soy milk. Its quite a feast for only four of us to eat. Even the shop owner was surprised that we managed to finish them all. What can I say? Good food is wasted if not finished right?

Credit goes to Prof P for bringing us all the way to Klang from KL! He sure knows where to go for good food. Never fail to fill me up with delicious food whenever I'm in KL. You wouldn't believe how many things I can't eat now because he just spoiled them for me with the finest food. Hawker to fine dining, my benchmark has been raised to an impossible level to satisfy anywhere else.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Credit Crunch? Where?

2009-03-14T16:45:00.001+08:00

Recession. Is it here? Is it real? Is it my problem? Urban legend? Urban myth to scare us off the Boogeyman shopkeeper? Well whatever the diagnosis and prognosis of this decade's economic crisis, I did a little shopping... I can't believe my eyes too but I did it.

This time, I shopped for a bedside table and table lamp... My new found faghag and I went round the city in search for that perfect bedside table and table lamp. Took us a good five hours for them too but it was worth it.

This is what I got.

Total expenditure, RM 250!

Not exactly IKEA but it does the trick. The thing about shopping for furnitures and lamps, it gives me more idea of how to decorate my room. A table like this would do nicely. A cabinet like that is just perfect. Oh I want that lamp! And it just goes on and on. Financial death trap I tell you.

At least now I know what this place has to offer. So next purchases are lights (I hate my room florescent light), table for my laptop and cabinet for extra storage. Gosh, decorating this room is like a new hobby or something...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Say What?

2009-03-12T20:35:00.002+08:00

Food makes people say strange things I reckon. Especially when you're all drowsy and stomach bloated till you feel like you're going to pop with a prod.

Me: I wanna get an iPhone!!!
LPY: I'm just going to wait for the BlackBerry Storm.
Me: So racist... "BLACK" Berry...
LPY: So self indulgent... "I" Phone...

It is extremely hard to laugh when you're stomach is bloated but hell it was hilarious! Gotta love these spontaneous hilarious jokes.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Cook Up A Storm

2009-01-25T08:25:00.002+08:00

Celebrating Chinese New Year away from home means I won't be able to see my family, my friends and most importantly eat Chinese New Year food! I want my pork dishes~~~ No point whining about it so my friend and I decided we shall cook pre Chinese New Year dinner last night. We had so much food! It could feed the whole of Africa I reckon.

Take a look at the ingredients I got just for my two dishes, stir fried mixed vegetable and braised chicken with mushroom.

Hmmm fungus, pork, chicken and vegetable~~~
Took me two hours to get those ingredients washed, soaked and cut. Very tiring process but it was worth it. The end products are just yum! Another two hours of cooking later, we got these!

Itadakimas!
Stir fried mix vegetable, braised chicken with mushroom, stir fried asparagus (in the container), herbal chicken soup, dessert and alcohol~~~ With just the three of us eating, we didn't finish the food. I foresee it will feed me for a good week.

But now the nightmare begins...

I hate washing dishes...
I'm so proud of myself for being able to cook Asian dishes! Never knew it was so cheap too! The stuff I bought above total to RM 50.60!!! So cheap, so much and so nice!

I'd like to thank my lovely Doctor for giving me links to the recipes. Love you lots.

Happy Cow Year Everyone~~~

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Good Old Times

2009-01-20T21:15:00.001+08:00

My Google Chrome opens three default tabs every time the browser opens. GMail, Facebook and Queer Rant. Knowing the blogger gang's ability to spam a hundred mail per day, my email is the first thing I'll read through. Not just that, I get my comments emailed to me too. Explains why the prompt response to some.

This is followed by Facebook. I'm a Facebook addict in denial. I simply love Facebook and I don't know why... Guess I'll never know what I'll find reading through the news updates. Like "oh my he's got bod!" or "that's the boyfriend?!" and such. Not to mention how amused I am seeing so many comments on me changing my status from "Single" to "In A Relationship". Never thought it would cause such a hype too...

Anyhow, I was browsing through the uploaded photos that my friends upload and I saw this.

It's an extremely ancient photo of my primary school time. I spent some time looking for myself even! This photo was taken 16 years ago. Fancy that! Sure brought back many memories of my childhood.

Have fun trying to look for me in the photos. Clue, I was scrawny back then.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

But I Just Wanted...

2009-01-19T17:15:00.002+08:00

A belt. A freaking belt! Singular item! One thing! Satu bende! 一个! And guess what happened when I went to shop for a belt with my clubby friends? I went out of the shop with a tie and a shirt... This was after my shopcapade... My credit card limit~~~ Well I didn't reach my limit. No where near actually but it did blow a hole in my pocket none the less.

Sighs but I LOVE my the things I bought!

This was the extra buy, the shirt and the tie. I love the combination. A little American Flag tie but am totally in love with it. It's totally hawt! And the cardigan, I can just melt staring myself in the mirror. Yes I'm full of myself today (bite me) but with good reason too.

Functionality Meets Fashion.
I was out in Popular bookstore during lunch time. Was in desperate need of men's fashion magazine. My usuals are GQ and Men's Folio. Those are the only ones I can find here anyways and the rest are in Mandarin. As much as I love ogling at the models, I actually read the articles as well (breaking news to some).

Anyhow, as I was paying for my copy of Men's Folio at the cashier, the girls and two of them might I add were giggling prolifically. I thought there was something on my face like mayo from my Spicy Chicken McDeluxe or chilly sauce from the fries but it wasn't. Then I looked at the girls trying to figure it out. The look that they gave me... It's one of those giggle and look that says, "OMG he's cute!".

I know I know but I'm not just saying this. I really am not. I know what that look looks like. I do it all the time and well this is the first time I'm noticing it on someone else first hand and they're looking at me! Swoons being the operative word here.

Guess it was a good impulse buy that shirt and tie.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

I Feel Alive Again

2009-01-18T08:45:00.000+08:00

It's been a long while since I've read a good book. So long in fact, I've forgotten what's it like to read, letting the book take me where the writer wants to take me, the smell of a book and the feel of the texture on each page as I turn to read the next. I love my book and how I could go on for a good few months or was it a total year without reading is beyond me.

This morning was a perfect setting for me to start reading again. Sun is shining bright but it was a windy morning. Perfect to laze on the bed reading a good book and what book was it? It was a present from Sam for Christmas. Thanks Sam.

The Manny by Holly Peterson. Looks like a chic lit doesn't it?

Rat Rat's futile attempt to chew on paper...

Chic lit or not, I'm curious to know what the story turns out.

MANNY [MAN-EE] N: A nanny of the male persuasion.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Girl You Ain't Proud Of It!

2009-01-17T16:30:00.000+08:00

The strangest thing happened at work yesterday. My senior come out to me. Oh yes you read it right, he came out to me while we were on our way to a workshop. Maybe coming out isn't the right term. He's loud and proud and all but people in the office still wonders why he's not married. Seriously... How can they even think that...

Imagine, he even does the snaps. Here's how. Start with right hand on the naval, makes a circle outwards and ends with a snap. Attitude is the key. That's his salutation with one of my girl colleague from uni. Yes, such queen diva he is in that sense.

I know I'm not much of an actor when it comes to acting straight but I just don't do loud and proud here. This place isn't KL. This place isn't Singapore. I'm not feeling adventurous to find out what people think about homosexuality nor do I want to change whatever their perception is.

He was asking a bunch of general questions about my past.

Do I have a lover?

How many previous lovers?

Where do you club?

It was a rather awkward situation, working colleague and all. I'm not the sort to shit where I eat so this was totally unacceptable. Well no matter, we have to look out for each other so I keep his secret and he keeps mine. He did mention that if I need to talk to anyone about it he's alright with it.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

A Bowl-ful Of M&M's

2009-01-16T17:45:00.003+08:00

A bowl-ful of M&M's helps the medicine go down or at least that's how it would be if Mary Poppins had M&M's. This is no ordinary M&M's I tell you and no they're not peanut M&M's either. They're Peanut Butter M&M's! The last I could recall, I had these in Aussie but couldn't find it here ever since then.

But as fate would have it, I found them while I was out hunting for candycanes with The Doctor. It was after New Year so no such luck on the candycanes. So I was randomly walking in one of the aisles of this supermarket located in Jaya One and I found Peanut Butter M&M's!!!

Rat Rat getting his little paws on them Peanut Butter M&M's!

Such a delightful treat to have found it being sold in Malaysian shore. I didn't want to open the pack but it's been such a tiring week for me (post viral infection drama) and I just want a nice treat for myself. It's divine combination to eat peanut butter and chocolate together. Yummy!

Do you know what else comes to mind when it comes to peanut butter and chocolate? Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Hmmm such sinful delights!

Gosh... It's heaven~~~ I should have hunted for it when I was getting my Peanut Butter M&M's... Next time round then. I shall stock up on chocolates.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Awwww Cute Doggies

2009-01-15T16:30:00.000+08:00

Gotta hand it to my brother in law. He finds the funniest things on Earth to watch some times.

Just like this little cute commercial advert.

Just a random thought, The Doctor loves dogs.

Anyhow, it doesn't matter with how many guys you're doing it with, just remember to use rubber. If dogs made of rubber can look that cute, so can yours. I think... Doesn't sound right now does it?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Oh So Very Queer...

2009-01-14T17:25:00.003+08:00

This actually took place when I was out with my clubby friends to a mamak/shisha place to chill. This is also where we first encountered the "Islamic Beer". Finally gotten around to uploading the photo for all to see. The so called 99.99% alcohol free fermented malt drink...

Come grab your Islamic Beer!!!

Halfway chilling while enjoying our "Islamic Beer" it started to pour like a typhoon hitting KL. Rain water was splashing all around us and even the hut that we were sitting in was leaking! Wet blanket was definitely the understatement of 2008 that night. Everyone's mood just gone sour at that point.

Everyone agreed that we should just call it a night. Problem was, it was still raining and the waiters were all sheltered in the main building. One of us had to go and pay the bill. Out of the blue, everyone started to toss loose change at me to pay the bill. Obediently I agreed.

But suddenly I realized, "I can't pay the bill. I'm wearing FABRIC shoes! You pay.".

Then he replied, "I can't! I'm wearing suedes!" and tosses the money to the guy who was wearing leather shoes.

Poor sod came back to us with his trousers wet up to his knees. At least his feet weren't wet. Hehehhe. Well he did muttered and muttered loudly for all to hear, "Women...".

I love my shoes too much just to get them all wet. They're my precious.

How queer can I get huh?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Lonely Is The Night

2009-01-12T02:40:00.002+08:00

It's two forty in the morning and I'm still awake. Been trying to get a proper sleep but I kept waking up every three hours like clockwork. The medication is not drowsy enough. Now it's raining and everyone is already asleep. It is a Monday morning after all.

Even The Doctor is asleep. I miss hearing his voice. Cold night and alone awake, tossing and turning in my bed. I just wish I can listen to him speak over the phone.

Lonely is the night indeed.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

New Year, New...

2009-01-11T17:35:00.004+08:00

Sickness... Not new sickness but just good old fever, cold and sore throat. Imagine waking up at three in the morning with tonsil all swollen and nose flooded and oozed with mucous. Immediately I smsed The Doctor and we ended up chatting on the phone for almost three hours. Helped him kill time while waiting for his morning shift in the hospital.

It got worse when I woke up in the morning at about ten. Raging fever and throbbing headache. My housemate was kind enough to send me to the clinic. You'd think things can't get any worse in a clinic but it did. I had to wait two hours for my turn. The thing about having a bad fever is the body can't regulate it's own temperature and I started to shiver in the waiting room. They don't even have a blanket for me to keep warm... My bones started to ache and I've never been in such pain from a fever prior to this.

Got me really annoyed. There I was in pain for two hours and the nurse did nothing to help. Just sat behind the reception and be bimbotic... They work in an extremely slow pace... Customer service is obviously not their priority.

When my turn finally came, I was already hypoglycemic and I couldn't stop shivering. Took them long enough to attend to me... The doctor took my temperature and it was 39 degree Celsius! My bones were aching more than ever and I couldn't wait to get out of the room. It was way too cold and my bones were really aching.

Got my prescription of many colorful pills and went grocery shopping. Bought lots of juicy fruits and for some odd reason, I got Koko Crunch... Guess I just wanted to eat something that doesn't require cooking. It's been ages since I had Koko Crunch. Oh and I got Vitagen too, grape and original flavor.

I feel much better now but still light headed and bones are still aching. Most probably I won't go to work tomorrow. I could use the rest and I haven't done my laundry... It has been pouring yesterday and today I'm sick.

I shall go get my mug of Koko Crunch now. Hungry...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Quirky Relationship

2009-01-09T18:50:00.003+08:00

I wouldn't call what I have with The Doctor quirky, a little different but not like it has never happened before. But relationship with my mom is rather quirky, well with my parents in general anyways. As my previous posts have indicated, I'm not all that close with my parents unlike The Doctor and his mother. From the sound of it, they're chummy friends ala Cheers. Alcohol on the side and best buds all round!

I have a different sort of bonding with my mother, one that doesn't involve alcohol or chummy chats. She cuts my fingernails. Yes I'm 23 going 24 this year and yes I am fully capable of cutting my own fingernails. It's something my mother and I have between the two of us. The last time she cut my fingernails, she even buffed it till all my fingernails were shiny! Talk about being a queer son with mommy's home pedicure center.

On a completely different note, I think my mother is still in denial of my sexuality despite coming out to her last year. How did I conclude this? The Doctor has met my parents (I've met his family too) and they were getting along fine, maybe a tiny rough patch when my mom tried to share with him (The Doctor and The Non Believer) what Jehovah's Witnesses is. She kept telling The Doctor that one day I'll get married, more nonsense, kids and other nonsense that a son should be.

Maybe all that Jehovah's preaching is getting into her head and giving her false hope. To put it simply, there's not leverage that my parents can put on me to get married and have a "happy" family let alone using prayers and hope for the straight for me.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Addiction To Spice

2009-01-07T23:35:00.004+08:00

Food is here really blend. There's nothing like food in KL like hokkien mee, bak kut teh, fried cockles, dim sum and fine dining. Ipoh food, gosh how I miss Ipoh food. Dim sum, Ipoh hor fun, Hakka mee and the hawker food. Then there's Malaccan food, the satay celup, chicken rice balls, mee Siam, pork satay, cendol and Baba food.

Yes I really love my food.

There's a kind of food that I've never tried before in my life. I love my "belacan" and "sambal" but never had anything like this. It's called "lalapan". It's basically raw and boiled vegetables served with "sambal belacan" and a plate of white rice. I like having my "lalapan" with fried fish or fried chicken on the side, I need some sort of meat on my plate.

Instant addiction!

The "sambal belacan" is really one of a kind. Never had I had such spicy food before! What's more, it's highly addictive! It makes me want to have more despite it being extremely spicy to the point of heartbeat racing and perspiration working on overtime. I get this high eating it and it's just so spicily delicious! There's just no way to describe it but to try it for yourself. Extreme deliciousness~~~

See, everyone of us has a hidden sadomasochism.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Christmas Party To Remember

2009-01-06T23:55:00.006+08:00

It seems that William's tardy blogging habits have spread to me. He's infamous for his tardy travel posts and I wonder why is that. Hehehehe. This post is a week overdue but just as well that it's late cause a friend gave me a YouTube link to accompany my post. And what a hilarious and QUEER YouTube it is!

Last year I missed the Christmas party at Paul's and this year I almost missed it but last minute decision made me go. It was my first time driving in KL. My first time driving on the North-South highway and my first time driving in Melaka. Suffice to say, we all miraculously survived. There was a little drama entering the North-South highway but it wasn't anything major (Sam's brother was screaming "I don't want to die" for some reason...).

Driving drama aside (The Doctor seems to think I have bad driving skills...), the party was awesome. Sleepover, food, drinks and loads of drinks, reruns of Marry Poppins and Mamma Mia and recap of the past stories. We even played The Game of Life! I hearts that game so much! I love my boardgames.

Fun fun fun~~~

I'll skip the details as many others have blogged vivid detailed accounts of the party itself but all in all, it was a reunion that I desperately needed. It's been ages since I've been to one of these gatherings and I've been missing out a lot of them ever since I started working. I really do miss my queer family. Despite the dramas that's been going on, I still love them. Which family is not dysfunctional sometimes right?

Another memorable part of this party is my unexpected chance meet with The Doctor. Gosh this is just like Andrew and his doctor in Desperate Housewives! What a queer coincident!

Anyhow, do watch the YouTube below. This is how a Queer Christmas should be.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Music Of 2008

2009-01-05T17:50:00.002+08:00

With 2008 already history let's have a little recap on the music that rocked 2008. These are the music that, to me, defined 2008 and the songs that I danced to during all those time in Market Place.

Hats off to you DJ Earworm. It was a brilliant mix to recap music for the year that was 2008!

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Status: Dating

2009-01-04T20:40:00.002+08:00

I guess the title says it all. The Queer Ranter is dating in spite of having to work on the other side of South China Sea. It seems like Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) are the only sort of relationship that I can have at the moment. Not because I prefer it, it's the locations I seem to be when engaging a relationship. They are always away from the city, KL to be exact.

I'm not saying that there's no queers elsewhere of KL but I can, thus far, never find someone that I am remotely interested with. Even more so here where I am currently, I've only managed to meet up with two queers. They say the scene here is comparatively better but what scene is there here? Maybe I've not found the right channel...

But no matter.

Now I have The Doctor to look forward upon my return to KL. Things are happening fast and things are happening slow. Either way, things are happening between us. We'll take our time getting to know each other and see if things work out between us. Take it slow and steady through rocky and shallow waters.

One thing for sure though. Phone bill is going to skyrocket and I'll be even more of an Internet Junkie. This is the price to pay for technology that helps bring us closer. At least I have some plans for the coming months to go back to KL for short breaks. We can meet up and catch up and he will most definitely try to fatten me up with good food. I feel like a chicken being fatten up for slaughter...

Unexpected things are happening at the start of 2009 and I'm very keen to know what this year brings.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Oxymoron of 2009

2009-01-03T11:45:00.006+08:00

Mamak-ing while sitting under an umbrella waiting for the rain to stop isn't the perfect setting that I'd like to chill with my friends. Not just any rain but those huge downpours sort of rain. It's noisy, cold and annoying. I get annoyed getting wet by rain. I love rain when I'm dry and away from the rain.

But prior to the mistimed horrendous torrential downpour something peculiar came up. Islamic Beer. Yes you read it right, Islamic Beer. Oxymoron of 2009. Islamic (alcohol is "haram") and beer (full of alcohol). So what exactly is Islamic Beer? It's just a malt drink with gas and fruity flavors. It's equivalent of fruity bubbly. The lady said it's 99.9 % alcohol free.

Seriously... The things people come up with...

Just as I thought that would be enough of an oxymoron dose for one night, this popped up. My dear friend (also known as "Muka Ketat" and flashed victim) loves pork even though it's "haram" for him to do so. But he found a way round it this tricky situation. Say "Bismillah" before eating and also say a prayer before slaughtering the pig. Then you'll have "Halal Pork"!

Wouldn't life be boring without these lovely oxymoron to keep us entertained?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

When A Queer Shops...

2009-01-02T11:20:00.007+08:00

What's my new year's resolution? I've got none. I don't do resolutions cause I feel it doesn't do anything for me. I'd rather take the new year a day at a time and embrace every moments of it. Cliche as it sounds but carpe diem fits this description well.

So to start off the new year, I ceased the day by going shopping in KLCC and Pavilion. I am amazed at my shopping because I was literally, "Oh nice... Take. That too. Take". Well I did have a rough idea of the things I wanted to get and I did get them. Except for a few sudden splurges here and there.

How am I suppose to bring these stuff back?!

My favourite buy was Dilbert 2.0 20 Years of Dilbert hardbound box edition from Kinokuniya (I believe a reader spotted me there lugging this 10kg book). Good bargain too cause I got it at 30% discount! RM 370 - 30% = RM 259!!! That was the first item that started my shopping spree.

Then came the working clothes. I love the dark grey checkered trousers (why do people here call it pants?) and two new cardigans. That should keep me warm and stylish in the office for a bit. However, I didn't manage to find many working shirts that I like. So I only settled with one. Got a three ties to mix and match with my current shirts in my wardrobe.

For casual/clubbing wear I got two shirts, a pair of jeans and a pair of shoes. I just realised the shirts aren't in the photo... Probably in the washing or somewhere in the house. One red with black fine line from Topman and white short sleeved shirt from Zara.

Finally I've gotten something heavy duty to combat the harsh weather and working condition, Biotherm! Basic cleanse, tone and moisturise and an added sunblock. SPF 50. That should keep the UV rays away.

So what's the damage? Approximately RM 2000. Well it's a price to pay for the satisfaction of shopping. I totally enjoyed my shopping workout. It's a complete workout with weights involved and lots and lots of cardio. Why gym when you can shop? Hehhehe.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Year That Was 2008

2008-12-31T23:55:00.002+08:00

2008 was quite a year and it went by in a blink of an eye. I dare to say that 2008 is the year that I started to grow up. My life as a student ended upon my graduation and the road to adulthood, career, taxes, paychecks and bills opened up to me. It's a good trade off for me. Sure there's less responsibilities and more time to myself when I was a student but there's just so much more as an adult.

You win some you lose some, that's how it is.

Getting a job means I have to move to where the job is and that is Sarawak. Living by my own and being independent is not foreign to me. Been doing that since young so moving from West Malaysia to East Malaysia was almost a seamless transition. Sure I miss KL, my friends and all but a man got to do what a man got to do.

Then of course, there's my breakup with McDave, second and final breakup. As painful as the experience was, it was necessary for me to learn about myself and relationship. No better teacher than pain and experience. We're still friends and that's the best result I can hope for in a breakup.

As 2008 was about to end, I met an amazing guy in our annual Christmas party hosted by none other than Dr. Paul. We hit it off in less than 48 hours, that gave a whole new meaning to living on the fast lane. Never have I had such affair happened to me before. Seriously, less than 48 hours. We'll see where things lead and take it easy and slow. However, lots of drama went along with my encounter. Rocked the boat quite violently more like it.

What a year 2008 was and went with a bang it did. I'm looking forward what 2009 brings.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

25th December 2008

2008-12-25T19:25:00.002+08:00

Two open houses, several shots of alcohol (Smirnoff, Tuak and Gin) and few hours of housekeeping later, I'm now in the airport waiting for my flight back to KL. Curse AirAsia counter rejected my check in after half an hour of queuing in line. "I'm sorry, we can only check you in in forty minutes time." says the woman while smiling. I hate it when they smile cause I can't verbally abuse them for making me wait longer.

So here I am, eating my club sandwich and a big mug of hot hazelnut chocolate. I'm a victim to Starbucks... Did I ever mentioned how nice and friendly the people in Starbucks are?! Just a moment ago, the person who took my orders stood next to where I'm sitting and had a decent long chat. Gosh no wonder I love coming to this place. Coffee Beans on the other hand seriously needs some sort of customer service boot camp. Desperately in need of that...

Anyhows, enough about Starbucks and the retarded-uncongenial-customer-service that is Coffee Beans.

Back to the open houses that I went for during the day. Never did go for open houses for Christmas before this. But going with three Muslim friends, there's a price to pay. People here drink a lot. Like really DRINK a lot! Alcohol is cheap here because of the alcohol smuggling. So since they can't drink, I have to drink on their behalf... It was afternoon and I was struggling to keep my mind thinking straight. I am not going to be known as "The Drunken Stupor Boy" on top of my "Pretty Boy" tittle.

It was a good Christmas I say despite being drunk in the afternoon. I am never drinking in the afternoon. It's just weird being hammered while the sun is still up.

How was your Christmas?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Five

2008-12-24T22:20:00.001+08:00

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, Five Golden Ring~~~ Four Calling Birds, Three French Hens, Two Turtle Doves and A partridge in a pear tree. Alright, it's not anywhere near Christmas but it's Christmas "T Minus One" Day. Good enough to start singing Christmas Carols.

But the disturbing fact is, malls have started selling Chinese New Year decorative and playing Chinese New Year songs. Christmas isn't even here yet and they just shove it aside? Poor Christmas. No matter, I'm flying back to KL tomorrow night arriving 10 minutes before Christmas ends. Sad I know but at least I'm back.

Christmas equates to parties and parties equates vices, lots of vices. As much as I would dearly love to share with my readers all my vices so that they can take full advantage of me, I'm just going to share five.

Uno: Stuffed Toys

Not just any stuffed toys. They must be absolutely adorable in my eyes and furs that won't fall. Fallen furs make me sneeze. A lot...

Dos: Underwear

Never seem to have enough of them to the point of I'm spoilt with options. Every morning will be spent matching underwear with outfit.

Tres: Electrical Gadgets

Any electronic gadgets that's portable, multi purpose and chic. Hence the emotional need for a SE Xperia.

Cuatro: Internet

The Internet is for porn. The Internet is for porn. Yes the Internet is for porn. Well maybe just a little or a lot depending on how you look at my Internet surfing behavior. Whatever the use, deviant or otherwise, I can't live without it. It's my life line.

Cinco: Youthful Looking Guys

Most of you may have noticed my preference in youthful looking guys say Lee Hom or some of the bloggers here itself (you know who you are). It's youthful looking guys and not younger guys. Age is not much of a factor just how a person looks. But of course this is purely for the pleasure viewing purposes.

So there, my five vices.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Drill Sergeant Turned Blonde

2008-12-23T08:00:00.002+08:00

I have to start my post with a little character sketch of my mentor at work. She's a person who's straight to the point, do this do that and I want it done yesterday. She doesn't greet like every other people in the office does instead she says "What are you doing? Why are you idle?". Keeping to the tradition of their company, slave drive your employee for every drip of their worth. The equivalent of Emperor Shi Huang Ti building the Great Wall of China.

Well that was few months ago, things are rather different now. It's no secret that she's dating someone. In fact, it's a public knowledge and constant discussions of who this mystery guy is. Whoever he is, we are indebted to him. Work is less Spartan military like and she seems happier, less shuddery (not that I was ever intimidated by her to begin with). Rather she's become more warm and friendly. A laughter from her was like the search for immortality but these days it's a common sound.

She is highly knowledgeable in the oil and gas field and has memory like an elephant. Instant absorption and locked tight in her mind. I wish I have her capabilities. It'd make my work so much easier not having to dig up for references... Ask her anything and she can answer (though most of the time she makes us dig for the answer ourselves...). Basically, she knows her theoretical stuff inside out.

First it was the noticeable laughter from her, her friendliness and warmth. It was hard to believe at first but people change don't they? So we let it be and embrace the new her. Then an unforeseen, out of the blue thing occurred. Life sure does have it's puckish sense of humour.

She pulled a "I'm blonde" stunt.

She and my supervisor were having a lengthy discussion. At one point she got all confused and just blurted, "I'm sorry, you have to speak to me slowly. I'm blonde.".

If that's not a 180 degree flip, I don't know what is.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Balls Balls Balls

2008-12-22T07:55:00.006+08:00

Glutinous rice balls that is in conjunction to the Winter Solstice celebration. I've always been a fan of tang yuan (汤圆). So simple yet so delicious and comforting to eat. Good balance of the sugary sweet and spicy ginger in the soup compliments the plain taste of the glutinous rice balls.

My family isn't one of those that practises Chinese celebration such as this so it came to me as a shocked when my housemates made tang yuan yesterday. I didn't know it was yesterday specifically and I've never made them before too. Never knew it was so simple to make and well it was fun. I can see how it can bring the whole family together. Sit around the table, chatting while rolling up the glutinous rice balls.

Little white and pink balls of joy.

My housemates invited some of their friends over to make and eat tang yuan. It was a nice small gathering. Lots of laughter and story telling. It brings warmth and joy to this house that we rent. As much as I love my peacefulness and serenity, it doesn't hurt to have some racket to liven things up a little. I'm not that antisocial when I'm at home.

Happy Winter Solstice everyone.

And guess what, Chinese New Year is only a month away.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Starbuck Junkie

2008-12-21T07:45:00.007+08:00

Never thought I'd see the day but I've turned into one of those Starbucks junkie... Yes there is one Starbucks in Miri. Make that two, one in the city and one in the airport. It has suddenly become my favourite place to be. The seat by the window is just fabulous. I can sit there for hours with my laptop surfing away and sipping a Venti Dark Cherry Mocha Frappuccino.

I don't so much love their drinks but I love their merchandise! I went crazy with their 10th Anniversary merchandise, 2009 Planner/Diary and a Venti sized Starbucks Tumbler. I've got the both of them too. I absolutely adore the Planner/Diary. It's so pretty. Leather bound and the paper is lovely. I can't bring myself to write on it especially with my hideous handwriting...

Signs of an addict, Starbucks Merchandise...

I spent the whole of Saturday studying and half of it was in Starbucks. Towards the afternoon, my room was too hot to be conducive for studying and I needed to pick up my Starbucks Tumbler anyways. Why not enjoy the aircon there, to be seen and people watch while studying (chatting, surfing, blogging) eh?

Disappointingly, there was only one eye candy spotted. Sad... At least he's got a real cute bubble butt! One curious thing that I saw was camo mini skirts... Two girls came into Starbucks wearing those. Thank goodness they we're trying to pull a "harujuku" look or I might just scream. I don't like "harujuku" girls... There was a boy, very good complexion and fair but unfortunately dyed his hair blond. That kinda ruined everything about him. Why do they do that to themselves?

Other than that, I managed to cover quite a lot of my study material.

Window side view.

Sitting by the window is really nice. There's something about looking passersby that's calming to me. But something unexpected happened when I was looking out at one of them. A girl in the car smiled and waved at me while I was sipping my drink. I was unsure if it was to me or to someone behind me that she was waving. I just smiled and waved back anyways.

It was a good day for me.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Tis The Season To Be Gay

2008-12-20T07:25:00.002+08:00

Some of you may have seen it, some of you may have not. Either one, it's a great video to watch especially the upcoming celebration Christmas~~~ I certainly can't stop watching and giggling along the way.

Merry Christmas~~~

Gosh the guy in black tank top and the guy with scarf and hood are so adorable!

With just five more days to go, I can't wait to get on a plane and head on home! That's right boys and boys, QR is going to paint the city of KL pink once more. Market Place, here I come!

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

What's In The Yellow Box?

2008-12-19T08:15:00.001+08:00

Offshore is all about the bold, bright and neon colour coding for good safety reasons. It's easier for rescue choppers or planes to spot something in middle of deep blue ocean that is searing bright such as yellow. Hence why platforms are painted brightly.

Conditions offshore can be quite severe although I'll admit not as extreme like the North Sea but still winds go up to 40 nautical knots per hour (73 km/hr) or faster. Weather change pretty drastically in an instant. I barely walk straight these winds. So equipments kept solid steel boxes like these.

Hard, strong and sturdy box.

But this box is not used to keep equipments. It has a more sinister purpose, pollute the sea. Yes it pollutes the sea with biological wastes. Sure, biological is biodegradable but it's still pollution. As much as we try to prevent pollution from crude spillage, this is unavoidable. This is why.

A hole!?

This box is the offshore version of a toilet. It's just you, the wind and the deep blue sea down below. Oh and not forgetting schools of fishes happily swimming and feeding on these biological wastes. It's not mystery why they're all so huge and fresh out in the sea. They're all well fed.

Of course this is not the same facility on a living quarters platform. Proper toilet and good living condition there unlike production platforms such as these. For what it's worth to those who ate fish for dinner last night, I never take a dump in these boxes. I make sure I'm good before leaving the living quarters.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

It's A Hard Knock Life

2008-12-18T04:25:00.000+08:00

The next time you guys fill your petrol tanks in a petrol station, remember the sacrifices the people in the oil and gas industry make to give the general public fuel.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Bring Your Readers To Work Day!

2008-12-17T03:55:00.000+08:00

Fact one. I work in the oil and gas industry. Fact two. I'm highly desirable when I'm in a company of men in the middle of the sea. Fact three. I'm just bloody gorgeous. Ok fine, fact two and fact three are just wishful thinking (though is it so bad for it to be true?).

I've been talking about my trips offshore and things happening in the middle of the sea but no photo to speak of to show all my readers. Well the other place of work besides the office. The office is boring and nothing interesting to see unlike the offshore platform.

To those who've been wondering what it looks like, this is it.

This is one of the three installations offshore. Pretty cool huh? Unfortunately, there's no scale to compare it with but it's not big neither is it small. If you can squint your eyes on one of the bridges and you'll see a white box. That white box is your normal 15 footer container. So just imagine a little how big or small it is.

On the left is what we call a drilling platform. See the bundle of pipes rising upwards to the platform? Those come from many thousands feet underneath the seabed. Then the middle module is where the pumps are to pump the crude to other facilities and shore. Then the right module houses compressors and separators.

Sure is awesome working in an installation such as this. I actually love coming offshore. Lots of things to learn, people are nice, free workout (see how much stairs I have to climb?!) and food is free (though not that good but it'll do)! There's on exception to this seemingly perfect workplace. My skin gets ravaged by the elements!

UV rays~~~ Go away~~~

I'm in such desperate need for Biotherm... Or Lab Series...

Sponsors anyone? Please?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

I Was Not Made To Study

2008-12-16T06:45:00.003+08:00

Ever since my uni days, I noticed something. Studying makes me hungry! So hungry it's fungry (farking hungry) almost borderline I'm-going-to-die starvation. It's annoying because every half an hour or so, starvation kicks in and a growling symphony is projected from my stomach...

How am I suppose to finish 350++ worth of materials on time?!

At least I have two cartons of low fat milk I nicked off from offshore to quiet my stomach down. Though I only discovered I had those milk after munching on quarter of my favourite Julie's Peanutbutter Biscuits...

Eeeeeeeeee fats~~~ Go away~~~

I really don't know how those bookworms study from dawn to dusk. Don't they get hungry like me too? And where did they get their attention span tweaked to focus for hours on end! I can't help but look into my blog or Facebook every five seconds!

Help~~~

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Obsession With Bananas

2008-12-15T08:50:00.014+08:00

There's many "firsts" in this blog. One of them is the unforgettable sexcapade trilogy posts that I wrote long time ago. And recently, I put up photos of me on this blog too but as I started working, I took them down. I'm in the wrong "cuntry" to be freely queer. As they say, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do".

This will be my first angry post. I'm a very docile and tolerant person but there are two things that will just make me snap and hell has no fury like Queer Ranter's scorn, queer men in denial starts a family while the other is the word "banana". I'll be ranting about the latter.

Banana. Such a good source of nutrient and energy (good for other uses, mainly in the DIY department) turned into an annoyance whenever I hear it. Banana is a euphemism for Chinese people who either can't speak, read, write or all of the above. How did they come up with such fabulously degrading term? Chinese are naturally born with a tinge of yellow. So like a banana, yellow on the outside and white on the inside. White refers to Western upbringing.

I always get this "banana" whenever I meet "Chinese Educated" people and honestly, it's getting into my nerves. I'm really not bothered about this "banana" crap but there's always a limit to everything.

I've gotten statements such as these:

Statement 1: Ah?! You're don't know how to read and write Chinese? Such a shame to the Chinese race.

Statement 2: Oh don't speak to me in Mandarin. Your Mandarin is appalling. I've scored 'A' for my Mandarin in STPM you know. Better stick to English.

When I first heard Statement 1, I was shocked. These people still exists?! So what if I can't read and write Mandarin? I manage to survive with my English and basic Mandarin. There's no fatal need for me to master Mandarin in my field of work either. Everything is still following American Standards and it's not going to change to Chinese Standards and only printed in Mandarin. As to shame, I wonder who is ashamed of who. She of me for my inability to read and write Mandarin or myself for being Chinese and related to insensitive and racist person like her.

Statement 2 was even more of a shocker to me purely because it came from a person I know. I am deeply disappointed in her and I hold a grudge on that incident. Hence, I've been consciously keeping a distant from her and I'll just leave it as that until I'm ready to tell her about. I am at the moment comfortable having the grudge as company. Misery loves company after all.

What is so great about being able to speak, read and write Mandarin? Why is there a need to emphasise and ostracise me for my inability to master Mandarin? What's with the I-Know-Mandarin-And-You-Don't pride? Rather childish really. Never for once did I ever pick on them for their atrocious command in English. Instead I offer my assistance.

I don't give a rat's ass if you master Mandarin or master any other language cause it's got no business with me. You know it, good for you but don't expect me to give you a golden star when you brag about it and belittle me. Like I said, I don't give a rat's ass about it.

Lemme say this ONCE. It is extremely rude to ask anyone if they're a "banana". It's like asking an orphan "do you have parents?". Does it matter if the person you meet is a "banana"?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Paintball or Painball?

2008-12-14T09:45:00.004+08:00

All of us have some sort of sadomasochism tendencies deep down inside. I'll admit, I do like to spice it up a little when it comes to rampant bed activities, just a little. I'm rather kinky when it comes to these things but I'm sure you guys already know that. No harm so long as both parties are having a good time and be safe.

That aside, I've found paintball to be the perfect outlet (outside of the bedroom) for my inner-sadomasochism-self. Paintball! Though it should be called painball cause it hurts like a bitch when you get shot at from a distant and at 10 feet or less, a shot on naked skin will cause minor bleeding... The pallet (bullets) flies through the atmosphere at an average velocity of 250 ft/sec. That translates to major pain.

Despite having participated in paintball previously, I still got shot, got shot many times and I have the bruises as evidence!

Left arm casualty.

Right arm casualty.

Hurts like a bitch! Urgh.

I find a part of the pre-match briefing hilarious yet disturbing.

The Marshal said, "Now when you get shot, raise your hand, shout "OUT" and walk to the trees. Even when you have surrendered, your friends will keep barraging you with pallets until he realises that you have surrendered. So be patient. Enjoy the game and enjoy the pain.".

Barrage of pallets did come my way several times... I did manage to pull off dodging bullets ala The Matrix but not when there's several people shooting at me. Instead you had me screaming, "Ouch my arm! Arrrgh my other arm. Wei my tits! Hey, I surrender! Dem it that was my BUTT!".

But all is fair when it comes to paintball. I did get several people but I feel for one of my victim. Shot him straight on his chest and leaving a bruise next to his heart. Unfortunate for him, his vest failed him and the pallet contacted on his naked skin. No pain no glory right?

I think I'm fast becoming a fan of paintball but I don't have the funds for it at the moment. Gonna get myself SE Xperia first then I shall consider joining the local paintball club.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Don't Be Silly, These Too

2008-12-13T07:30:00.008+08:00

I have been Emily Charlton-ed (think The Devil Wears Prada) by my supervisor at work. I was given materials related to my training to learn. I don't mind studying. In fact I welcome it. There's just so many things that I need to learn and best start with the fundamentals since I've been exposed to practicals and field work. Learning never ceases.

The first hint of her pulling of an Emily Charlton was Saturday. I should have known judging from the emails she sent to all of us in the team on a Saturday morning. Gosh this woman is not human. Bionic would be an understatement and robotic just doesn't cut it. Who sends email on a Saturday morning?! But silly me, I replied to her emails. I was up and felt obligated.

We were discussing about the materials for me to learn. So come this week, I was handed those materials. Then she said, "We'll have a test next week. Finish studying the ROLL (I have no idea what this stands for...) modules.". I agreed to it, well I doubt that was negotiable. Gosh I barely started and she's already talking about testing me...

Little did I realise the gravity of the situation. I mean, how hard is it to study for it and take the test? I've been doing it for 17 years and I did alright. So I asked my friend what's this ROLL is all about. Fundamentals this, basics that and principles whatever. Hmmm, seems alright. Then I popped the million dollar question, "How much of material is it?". 7 modules with an average of 50 pages per module...

Such an Emily-Andrea scene:

Emily: Right, these are all of the guests. Miranda invites everyone and we have to make sure they all think that she knows exactly who they are and I've been studying for weeks.

Andrea: I have to learn all these by tonight?

Emily: Now don't be silly Andrea, these too.

I'm screwed!

Does she think I have nothing else to do but study?! Gosh there goes my weekend! Guess that's why they're good at what they do. I shall persevere cause daddy needs a SonyEricsson Xperia!

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Say My Name

2008-12-12T07:00:00.000+08:00

I'm a big believer in the power of names even more so when it comes to Chinese names. If you're a skeptic, try calling a person idiot instead of addressing his name. With enough time, he'll most probably believe he's an idiot. This is why we have so many low morale, low self esteemed and suicidal people. The power of names is not something to be discredited though of course that's not the sole reason why. Take it, like everything else with a pinch of salt.

Back to names, I really like my name both English (many people confuse this with Christian name and think I'm a Christian...) and Chinese name. I believe my straightforwardness in my manner and speech is credited to my English name. Ask any one of my friends about it and they'll agree, I hope. Straightforwardness does come with a price. I tend to say things other people wouldn't say. Not in a mean way but in a strange way like talking about nocturnal emissions to random guy that I just met.

Yea go figure.

My Chinese name translates to pride of the family. Well I'm not sure if I'm pride-of-the-family material but I sure have Queer Pride in me with loads to share. Hehehhe. Neither am I much of a family guy at the moment either. Perhaps when I settle down with someone I will.

Maybe my belief in the influence of name made me all fascinated to know the full name of everyone I meet. Gives me a peek into the person's character.

What does your name say about you?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Festive Mood

2008-12-11T12:10:00.000+08:00

Tis the season to be jolly and marry and gay. I'm ecstatic that I'm going back to KL on Christmas day. Albeit arriving in LCCT just 10 minutes before 26th midnight (the things I do for cheap flights), I'm still I'm happy about heading back to civilization. Initially I didn't plan on coming back. Was thinking I'll just wait till February.

Then I started thinking about the clubbing. KL will literally be deserted and that translates to no crowd in clubs. I can't have no crowd in clubs! Better club for Christmas and New Year when the crowd is at it's most crowded. So I took my leave from my many days of unrecorded leaves (it is estimated to be 14 days) and bought my flight ticket.

Things to do when I get back. Meet up with friends of course! Shop till I drop. I'm have a need to shop for chic office wear. I'm thinking of hunting for a pair of nice sunnies too. Clubbing all night long! Have good food, I'm deprived of good food here.

With only 15 days till departure, how do I concentrate on my work? It's not helping that half the office is empty and it's bloody freezing as well. I can't help but daydream about my trip to KL. Space out into twilight with the thoughts of shopping.

P.S. My office computer is acting all weird. Turning itself on and off... Annoying...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Why Don't You Call?

2008-12-10T10:00:00.001+08:00

I get this question quite often. Why don't you call? It's not that I deliberately avoid contact with my fellow friends, it's just how I am. I'm accustomed in being alone, doing my own things and get wrapped up in my own world. More often than not, I'm preoccupied with my day to day activities that I don't really think of anything else.

As cold as it sounds, it's not intentional. I don't knowingly ignore my friends or any of the sort. When the time comes to give my friends a buzz I'll just do it. However, it's virtually impossible for me to give everyone in my contacts a buzz. Whether I call or do not call doesn't mean anything. My friends are still my friends. Sooner or later, I'll ask my friends out or buzz them.

Plus, why does it have to be me who's doing the contacting only?

Whenever I get home, I tend to keep to myself in my room and not talk much. I enjoy the quietness and collect my thoughts. Just enjoy the serenity. Hence part of the reason why I don't call often too. However, that doesn't mean I'll mind my friends calling when I'm home. I enjoy a good conversation like everyone else. I do try and chat up with all my friends online in MSN or GTalk. It's easier since I can multitask and it's free too!

So don't be dishearten if I've not contacted you for some time. I'm not avoiding you. It's just how things are with me.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

iShove

2008-12-09T19:35:00.008+08:00

I've been dying to own an iPhone 3G ever since it was released on 11 July 2008. I was willing to wait for it to come to Malaysian shores no matter how long it takes. But slowly, the iFanatic in me faded away. It started with Samsung Omnia and Samsung i8510 Innov8. They're lightyears ahead of iPhone in terms of functionality but I still kept my loyalty to iPhone. One it's Samsung. I'm no fan of Samsung phones. Two it's just not as pretty as an iPhone. So they got crossed in my list.

Then today while I was in the office, daydreaming and unfocused even though I had work to do, something abruptly interrupted my train of daydreaming thoughts of going back to KL. A mirage appeared in front of me. A poster ad of a handphone. Something that starts with 'X' and ends with 'ria'. SonyEricsson Xperia! I halted my work and went to Google it.

Lo and behold, I found my very own iKiller the SonyEricsson Xperia or also known as X1.

Xperia is Xtrodinary!

It's pretty, packed full with amazing functionality, 3 inch touchscreen (the sole reason why I like the iPhone to begin with), QWERTY keyboard, GPS navigation, WIFI enabled, 3.2 mega Pixel camera and more.

Ever since I got my first SE phone, K800i, I can't go back to Nokia or even think about changing to other phones. I love the SE interface, it's intuitive and user friendly. I do hope it's the same for the Xperia.

However, the estimated price in Malaysia, a hefty RM 3000. That's like buying myself a new laptop! I really need to test drive this phone if I'm buying it. RM 3000 isn't spare change for me. The phone better be expecting my expectations for RM 3000.

So off to reading reviews I go. I have an emotional need for a new phone with touchscreen.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Enough!

2008-12-08T11:15:00.008+08:00

There's a big difference living offshore and living onshore. It's not offshore being middle of nowhere cause this city doesn't have much it might as well be in the middle of nowhere. It's the not-having-to-think-what-to-eat when I get back to the living quarters after a long, hard, sweaty day of work (and the laundry service is awesome too!). Even though the food isn't all that great and they tend to taste the same after awhile, it's something to eat. Not to mention, the fridge is always stocked with fruit juices and milk. Milk is bloody expensive here...

After two days of being onshore, I've had enough of thinking what to eat. Having five singles staying in a house, the fridge is rather empty and thinking where to eat out is such a chore. So I decided to make my favourite comfort food, Tuna Pasta Salad. Been ages since I cooked something and I miss cooking terribly!

So here's what you need.

I missed out the eggs.

It's really simple to do it. So simple in fact, I don't think it is considered as cooking. Boil the eggs and pasta. Dice the capsicum, celery and onion. Finely chop the garlic. Drain the corn, pea and tuna of their water and put everything into a mixing bowl. Add enough mayonaise to make it creamy. Add in some salt, pepper and dry Thyme. Mash the eggs once it is hard boiled and add it in. Mix them well and add in the pasta. Mix them again. Leave it in the fridge to chill. Some cheese would be awesome too.

Then tadaa. Ready to eat.

My lovely comfort food in a mug.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Bells Are Ringing

2008-12-07T20:40:00.003+08:00

I love church bells. I would love to hear them for real like standing in front of a cathedral. Instead, I live in a country that has loudspeakers echoing signalling it's time for prayers five times a day. Anyhow, back to church bells. Everything about church bells has an allure of grandure and majestic. Just imagine when all of them ring in rhythm.

They sound like this.

Now imagine those bells ringing but it's ringing in your head. Well that's how I felt after my nap this afternoon. Endless ringing, throbbing and pounding in my head. This is why I try to avoid sleeping in the afternoon. Even power naps will give me a splitting headache. Worse still, I'll feel lethargic after the naps like how I'm feeling now.

I'm gonna make myself a drink. Ribena and Raspberry Vodka.

More Ribena or more Vodka?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Please Clean Up After...

2008-12-05T12:30:00.005+08:00

It is always a good idea if not good manners to clean up after whatever you were doing. Especially crucial after both party has achieved orgasm and ejaculated. Cum stains are not good to soft and fluffy comforters. You'll have spots of hard cotton and somewhat yellowish stain. There goes your many thousands of thread count sheets and comforters. Not good. But I'm sure you all know that already. So no need for me to elaborate more.

Just as crucial and important to clean up after is surfing a net on a public computer. See what I found on this computer by simply clicking CTRL+V.

陳冠希bobo陳文媛影片流出e dison chen sexy video porn xxx

Yep, I kid you not. Imagine what else I would find if I searched through the history? Though I'll be thrilled if someone typed Fridae or Gay.com. I'll have the Spanish Inquisitors revived to hunt the guy down. Then again, there's not many who's my age or remotely close to my spectrum of guys... Still I would be curious to know.

Another discovery that I found was a hidden stash of porn in one of the drawers in the office here offshore and in one of the computer. Men at sea...

So whatever you do, do clean up after. It's good housekeeping practice.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Weird Men At Sea

2008-12-04T10:15:00.008+08:00

Boys and boys. Think back to the time when you were a small boy. Young, innocent and uncorrupted by the world. Everything is all pretty and fluffy. Back to the time when you thought the penis is just for peeing. Remember what the boys used to do? I remember the boys in my school (especially primary school, an all boys school), they like to run around and grab each other's crotch. It is a game which the purposes or objectives are still a mystery to me but everyone was doing it.

I thought this "crotch grabbing" game was long gone along with my innocence. Then it suddenly resurfaced here, offshore! I was walking down the stairs with a guy in front of me and another guy walking up the stairs and there it happened. The guy walking up just extended his hands to crotch level of the guy in front of me. Though I don't recall the guy in front of me did anything. Not so much as a flinch but just walk on. I am certain the two aren't queer. So I guess the only other explanation is, they're all used to it?

Very puzzling... And it happened again with another guy. His hands are literally everywhere including my butt and back and hands (dejavu of the Pinoy marines?) and other guy's crotch. I'm sure my crotch is the only one that he hasn't felt or has it... It's nothing sexual I assure you but just that his hands are everywhere.

Still, I don't get what this "crotch grabbing" fascination or obsession. It's not like two jocks slapping each other's ass (I find this puzzling too) after a score. This was literally the "crotch grabbing" game from my childhood! Mind you, these people are all veterans as in average age of 40. They say old habits die hard and this is the proof of it.

Should I start wearing an Everlast chastity belt?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Men At Sea

2008-12-02T23:15:00.011+08:00

Imagine and twist however you want to but this post has no relation to the famous porn Men At Play. I'm talking about the men at sea that I'm working with and have met in ships and platforms. And there's lots of them. It's expected really considering that it's 99.9999% men.

Remember I was talking about the Pinoy marine guys awhile back? Well there was more to just flirting. I think they were trying to figure out if I was queer by asking me a series of direct (more like bull heading) questions.

Have you had sex?

How many times?

Was it a boy or a girl?

Do you have a girlfriend?

Do you not like girls?

Of course I didn't tell them the truth. Just lie my way out of it. I was shocked that they asked me those questions so directly. It had to happen when I was enjoying a beautiful sun set. Lovely orange sun setting on the horizon and clear blue sky above it.

Then the next trip offshore, I checked into another ship that was around. Loads of activities going on in my oil field hence the ships. This time it was the cafeteria dude. I give smiles to virtually everyone I see on board the ship. I think it's just plain good manners to do so. Generally they smile back but this cafeteria dude went a step further. Winks. He gave me winks whenever he sees me. Winks! Disturbed as I may felt, I kept smiling.

Maybe I'm too nice...

Just as I thought these "Men At Sea" encounters were over, the technicians, it seems have been talking about me. And what were they talking about? The new technicians were trying to figure out who am I and they came out with "The Pretty Boy" to describe me.

Me? Pretty? Hmmm... Of all things. Pretty.

Perhaps it was the facial that I had before going offshore. Yes I know, what a waste of facial but I didn't know I was heading offshore so soon... I so need to do facial when I get back to shore. My pores are all clogged! AGAIN!

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Bounty Of The Sea

2008-12-01T18:35:00.000+08:00

Day ten of me being offshore and guess what excitement happened besides bumming around since there's totally nothing to do due to some technical problems. Food! Not just any food but food straight from the sea. Delicious, free and fresh. A flogger's wet dream.

It's a freaking huge ass lobster!

Yummy!

I have never seen such huge lobster in my life, let alone a live one. Never knew they are this colourful. Just look at the colour. So vibrant and bright. Looks like a spider. A very delicious spider. Hehehehe.

The guys decided to boil it and eat it just like that. Nothing fancy. We don't have a top notch kitchen on the platform you see. Just plain old dip the lobster into boiling hot water and eat. And boy, it was the best lobster ever! Extremely sweet and bursting with flavour. Just divine.

I've seen many sorts of fishes around the platform and they are huge and yummy! Turtles too. They stay around the platform for food and shelter. I've yet to see dolphins. There are somewhere apparently. It's almost like I work in Aquaria with all these marine animals.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

GFan and iFan

2008-11-21T11:45:00.004+08:00

Like it or not, we are surrounded by a myriad of brands. Everyday we are constantly bombarded by ads everywhere we go. Could be a person carrying a shopping bags with labels or the mere sight of an iPod earphone will remind you of Apple. Virtually everything that we use today will remind us of a certain brand and iPod made sure that happens with the colour white (and moving onto funky and eye catching colours) on their products.

Then few days back, GMail did something that I've been wanting, a facelift for GMail interface! Sure they're known for their simplicity and cleancut interface but a little colour here and there won't hurt. And they proved it with the new themes for GMail interface. I absolutely love my GMail now with the Graffiti theme.

Take a look.

GMail personalised!

Personally, I'm a simple and cleancut sort of person but the themes that GMail has introduced just blew my mind away. From the classic GMail themes with different colours to vibrant colours of Graffiti theme to even the classic computer neon green and black background interface theme. So I'm really liking my Graffiti theme. I'm just waiting for Google to do something awesome with their GTalk. Something like this perhaps and more functions of course. Webcam ability dem it!

Officially, now I'm a GFan and an iFan. I hearts Google and Apple.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

OCD

2008-11-13T16:30:00.004+08:00

I have an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when it comes to gadgets. It's nothing major or annoying, just that it had to be perfect. Meticulous. You can say I'm the Bree Van De Kamp of Gadgetry Lane. My gadgets are all in almost perfect condition, inside and out.

Just today while attending a course my friend made a remark, "Gosh you're such an anal. Just look at your iPod's playlist, all well sorted with album covers." It's true. I don't download a single MP3, I need the whole album, organised and complete with album cover. I would take time to tag each song in iTunes and rank them too.

This also applies to the series that I download. All properly named and sorted. Except for my porn for some reason. I couldn't care less what they are named as long as I can find which that I want to watch.

How odd...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Curious Fact

2008-11-11T13:55:00.001+08:00

You know the saying, "when it rains it pours"? I wonder if the same applies to men. How many of you have experienced this phenomenon?

I'm curious to know.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Lesson Learned

2008-11-09T19:15:00.007+08:00

Coulda woulda and shoulda. Three words that have been ringing in my head for the whole day now. Carpe diem part of me seemed to slip and that one encounter gone wasted. I hate the feeling of kicking myself in the arse for not doing anything about it.

It was after clubbing in Market Place. It was a fantastic night with DJ Shigeki spinning. The music was sensational and I could hardly stopped myself from dancing. The DJ ended his session with club remix of Viva La Vida. We went wild with that. Perfect and best remix since Haji Seamus Touch My Body.

So back to the coulda woulda shoulda bit. We all went to mamak to sober up. Some of us were just wasted. There I spotted a guy I saw in Frangi's Friday night. It was a brief encounter in Frangi's but last night in mamak, he called me over. We introduced each other and he asked me to join them but I didn't since I was with the gang and I was a little intimidated with sitting in a table and everyone was literally staring at me.

When mamak session was over he and I chatted as we walked out of the mamak. Just general stuff about the night and the DJ. I could have asked for his contacts there and then but I didn't. Don't know why but urgh... Annoyance. It was obvious that both of us are interested with each other but nothing happened.

Bah...

Perhaps Facebook can be the silver lining to this dilemma?

Coulda woulda shoulda.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Series of Unfortunate Events

2008-11-07T15:00:00.006+08:00

I'm sure most of you guys are familiar with Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Well I've not watched it myself but an unfortunate event did occur last night. A head on collision with another car.

I was sitting at the back of the car when the accident happened. Not sure what happened really but our Kelisa hit a Wira head on. It wasn't a high speed head on collision but enough to wreck the engine for both cars.

I'm not sure who's at fault, the Kelisa or the Wira. It happened at an intersection with traffic light. No one was badly injured in the accident so that's good. Though my sides and ribs are kinda sore. Silly me for not putting on my safety belt that night (I always do put them on though). I kinda landed at my sides on the back side of the front passenger seat.

So wear your safety belts people!

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Harbinger of Lusty Chaos

2008-10-27T18:15:00.004+08:00

Hear ye hear ye,
Come gather round my sisters,
For I have a prophesy to tell,
Listen now and listen close.

Armageddon will come upon the slut's third nocturnal emission. He shall be known as the Harbinger of Lusty Chaos.

Now go my sisters and spread the word.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Jet Setting Lifestyle

2008-10-26T13:00:00.005+08:00

I never thought that I'd experience a glimpse of a jet setter. All thanks to the back to back job trainings that I'm having. First was training in Singapore. My flight transited in KLIA. That was Sunday and the next day I was back in the office. Little did I know, my training that starts on Tuesday has been confirmed in Peninsular (travelling is expected here too...).

If only they told me earlier, I'd just stay in KL instead of flying back to KLIA again... Oh well, so long as I get to fly. Tired sure but I just love flying. I quickly settled my paperwork in the office and rushed back home to pack my clothes. Thank goodness I washed my clothes the night I arrived from Singapore or else I'd have nothing to wear. I over packed my luggage and it weighed 20 kg on the dot! Pheww!

The thing about having training is the food... They always feed us with good food. Normally this is a good thing but I'm trying to watch my figure here! I bought a lovely pair of black shorts from Fourskin in Singapore and it fits me just nice. No way I'm going to out grow my shorts! I love them too much.

Now that I'm back in KL for two weeks of training, I'm gonna enjoy my stay here at every chance I get. Shopping is a must! Clubbing is mandatory! And hanging out with my dear friends.

I'll be in KL till the 9th. Happy happy joy joy!

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Somniloquism

2008-10-23T19:15:00.002+08:00

Gosh, I remember back in the days I used tease La Twin Faghag about her unique ability to carry a conversation alone complete with Spanish drama expressions and flailing hands while sleeping. Pity La Faghag and her sleepless nights trying to decipher what La Twin Faghag was saying in Mandarin. La Faghag isn't exactly known for her linguistic abilities. Other things she's uncannily talented...

Anyhow, I've recently discovered I talk in my sleep few days back. My Vietnamese roommate said that he was awoken by my conversation(s). He said he couldn't identify the language that I was speaking in. I'm thinking possibly Mandarin since he can identify and distinguish English and Malay. I never knew my subconscious thinks in Mandarin. Weird actually since my mother tongue isn't Mandarin to begin with.

How odd.

I'm actually more interested in what I said. What got me all worked up to make me talk in my sleep. I'm thinking fatigue from all the trainings I've been attending. First Singapore and now Peninsular Malaysia. Gosh, I've got another training after this as well. Five weeks of training straight. I'll consider it a five weeks holiday of a sort. Hehehehe.

I do hope all these talking in my sleep ceases. Wouldn't want my straight Vietnamese roommate to find out I'm queer in the middle of my sleep. And before you ask, no he's not what I consider a cute Vietnamese boy. Actually he's not a boy, he's a man.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Victim of Label

2008-10-20T23:50:00.004+08:00

It all started with a conversation with this budaks. I said, "I wanna get an LV wallet". He went on a hissing fits and rampage saying LV is so passe and plebeian these days. How the real thing and the fake are identical and such. Well fine...

Toss that out of the wish list. Then I went around the net looking for one.

Lo and behold, Ted Baker (I hearts the Internet). Yes I found my perfect wallet from Ted Baker. Radlow is it's name and at the oh so pretty price of £ 55. Hmmm. I almost got it online but the shipment fee is just horrendous! It costs £ 35 to have it delivered here!

Bastards!

Ah Ted, art thou a sight for sore eye.

Urgh. I just hope the branches in KL have it or I'll start screaming. Hell has no fury like a queer's scorn when it comes to shopping for pretty things. I am not going to pay £ 35 just to ship this lovely thing over here. I can get so many things with that money wasted.

So there. I have my sights set on you Radlow. Come to me you pretty little thing. Come into my pocket where you belong.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Trapped

2008-10-17T13:15:00.013+08:00

Ever had the feeling that you're trapped? Not physically but emotionally. Well I feel trapped in a straight world especially where I am working now. I'm not referring to the office. I don't expect it to be a place I can fully express myself. Don't shit where you eat I say. Not having any queer friends and surrounded by only straight people can be very asphyxiating at times.

My trip down to Singapore reaffirmed this claim. I felt alive when I was there. I could be myself, loud and proud queer. It was so nice to be in the company of queer friends while enjoying a good meal together. Have walks down the street holding hands and laughing aloud with everyone minding their own business. Not to mention, everywhere you look there'll be a queer.

Sigh.

I miss my friends in Singapore and I miss my friends in KL even more. Modern technology can only bring them so close to me. Nothing can replace human touch and human interaction. Which is why I can't wait to see them next week. At least I know they won't ask me, "Do you have a girlfriend?" (I totally hate that question by the way). I'll start freaking out if my colleagues start to present their daugthers to me...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Singapore Singapore

2008-10-11T15:15:00.011+08:00

Clubbing in Singapore is fantastic! Unlike Malaysia, people here party till it's 4 in the morning! An additional hour makes a whole lot of difference. We were partying in Play located at Tanjong Pagar. Gosh gotta love that place.

Being a Market Place addict, I have a certain standards when it comes to clubbing. This is primarily the reason why I don't go to straight clubs. Straight clubs don't have fun gay guys to dance with. Boobie dancing is a no no to me. The next is music. I heart DJ Fendie from Market Place. Nothing like a good dance music compilations for hours to dance with. The music in Play is inconsistent. Sucky tunes in the beginning but it got better as the night progresses. However, there were occasional weird music played in between.

Though I like the crowd. In fact, I absolutely love! Chinese boys all around! Heaven to me! And I love the way they dress up. Not to mention, most of them have the body to pull it off. Ah how I miss them Singaporean boys. It seems to me, white shorts seems to be a phenomenon when it comes to Singaporean boys. Almost everyone is wearing them. Sure they look hawt but I'm just curious about the obsession with it.

Speaking of boys, my list of crushes is growing... Exponentially I might add... This is not good. And this Singapore trip sure didn't help shortening the list. Urgh. I can't help it. I love my boys. Urgh.

The booze there is comparatively as pricey as Market Place (after conversion). A jug of Bourbon and Coke is SGD 60. Fortunately there was a special offer, two jugs for the price of one. Awesome! I did get a little drunk that night but then again, a little alcohol is enough to get me all giggle like a school girl. Heheheh.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Gadget Tart

2008-10-07T18:05:00.005+08:00

Fool me once shame on me. Fool me twice shame on you. So I shall not pull the same trick again to blog about a little gadget I got here in Singapore. Meet the new 120 GB iPod! Me hearts my little iPod so much. Been dreaming of getting one since ages ago and here it is.

Another beauty of gadgets!

Just look at the colour! Lovely shade of dark grey and kinda matches my lovely laptop too. So slick, so smooth and entertainment wherever I go. When I got it, I immediately filled it up with my MP3s and Podcasts that I've been watching religiously, TedTalks. Real awesome stuff!

This is one of my favourite TedTalks.

Isn't she a fabulous storyteller?! But TedTalks is not a story telling gathering. Quite the opposite really. It's brilliant idea sharing session that they organise every year. Future technologies or ideas worth spreading are being told here. I am absolutely obsessed with TedTalks.

Final note, I heart Singapore~~~

Gotta do some more shopping before going back for work. Shall party all night long and be queer. It's amazing how liberating it feels to walk down the street and hold hands or perform PDA with another guy. I'm gonna miss this city.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

New Found Boyfriend

2008-10-01T16:45:00.005+08:00

I have a confession to make. I have been seeing someone ever since before I came to Miri. It wasn't really love at first sight when I saw his profile online but there was something that lured me to him. Something interesting that sparked my curiosity.

So I took a chance and thought what the heck. What's the worse that could happen right? And I agree on meeting him. Just to see how he is in person. It's one thing to know a person online and it's another to see them in person. To see is to believe sort of thing.

There he was all dressed up with such style. I have many girls envious of me having such stunning looking boyfriend. I'm just happy to have finally found the one. Lonely times no more and I am happy.

So here he is, Inspiron 1525 by Dell. My very first laptop.

Weee~~~

Ain't he a beauty?

With me being rather mobile with my work between office and offshore, this is a must to have. Kept me sane and entertained while I was offshore. Nothing to do on board a ship is enough to drive anyone nuts. I suppose there's always the Pinoy marines to keep me entertain if I so want to.

So readers, meet Inspiron 1525. My new found boyfriend.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter