The Favourite

After notifying my supervisors of my hand and wrist injury, I think they panic and went on an overly concerned mode. They kept asking about the orthopedic diagnosis and what the prognosis is. So much so, they kept trying to reach me and finally when they got a hold on me:

SV: QR, hello. How's the hand?
QR: It's alright. Just keeping it idle.
SV: Alright. I would like you to clear your leave. Take a week off. You've been offshore for far too long.
QR: Leave? Who? What? Why? Do you have enough people in the office?
SV: Yea no worries.

Honestly, I never saw this coming from my "Rule with an iron fist" Supervisor but I am not complaining. My other colleagues are envious but they are not surprised as they dubbed me as "The Favourite". I shall gladly take the leave. Well I am already into the leave in KL! The Doctor insists that I come back so he can work his "magic healing" on my hand and wrist through some sort of endurance training that involves the bed... I am starting to doubt he's a real doctor.

My poor disabled hand.

As for the orthopedics' diagnosis, it is a mild case of CTS. I am to keep my wrist immobile as much as possible to let the nerve heal naturally. This means less autoeroticism activities with the right hand, less typing, basically less everything with the right hand. I have to be a lefty till the right hand is better. So the doctor instructed me to wear a splint.

Claw of The Disabled Hand!

So unglam and straight right... Why could it not be pink with glitters?! I need rhinestones and turn it into an accessory ala Lady Gaga. However it is good for one thing, it attracts attention and sympathy! Yes I bask in attention and sympathy. Such attention whore I know.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Painkiller The New Penicillin?

People only appreciate something once it is lost, definitely true with my thumb. No I did not loose my thumb but it's temporarily having restrictive movements and unable to handle stress and strain. Stress injury from work I reckon. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is a bitch or so I suspect it is CTS. Repetitive motion on my right hand mainly opening metal taps for sampling crude oil, weakness while using my thumb and pain when gripping on something. Sounds like CTS.

I went to the medic for consultation and boy was I amused. I explained to him the condition of my thumb, he took a look at it and felt the area surrounding my thumb. There's a slight swelling but nothing too significant like the size of a turkey drumstick. Just a little bigger than usual and it is soft.

Maybe it is gout he said even after asking if I've been having red meat for my meals. I don't overdose myself with protein if that was what he was going at. Not like I have much use for those excess protein here anyways. I am not lifting weights to build mass nor do I have bulky muscles to sustain them... I have even attempted to suggest that it may be CTS but judging from his expression I might as well have some exotic tropical disease like Ebola...

I think The Doctor was practically rolling his eyes when I told him what the medic said. He would throw a fit at the medic if he is here. Maybe a man overboard drill too. Gotta love The Doctor for his charms.

So what does the medic do when presented a patient that is experiencing the above syndromes? Give him painkillers and tell the patient to observe the following days. Sounds like the early days of antibiotic. Fever? Here have a jab of Penicillin.

I hope my thumb gets well in the following days. Shall give the thumb a little break. What a great excuse to be idle out here in the sea and feed the fishes!

I shall stop typing now. I do not want to risk injuring it more. How am I to perform my daily ritual of autoeroticism?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

New Year, New...

Sickness... Not new sickness but just good old fever, cold and sore throat. Imagine waking up at three in the morning with tonsil all swollen and nose flooded and oozed with mucous. Immediately I smsed The Doctor and we ended up chatting on the phone for almost three hours. Helped him kill time while waiting for his morning shift in the hospital.

It got worse when I woke up in the morning at about ten. Raging fever and throbbing headache. My housemate was kind enough to send me to the clinic. You'd think things can't get any worse in a clinic but it did. I had to wait two hours for my turn. The thing about having a bad fever is the body can't regulate it's own temperature and I started to shiver in the waiting room. They don't even have a blanket for me to keep warm... My bones started to ache and I've never been in such pain from a fever prior to this.

Got me really annoyed. There I was in pain for two hours and the nurse did nothing to help. Just sat behind the reception and be bimbotic... They work in an extremely slow pace... Customer service is obviously not their priority.

When my turn finally came, I was already hypoglycemic and I couldn't stop shivering. Took them long enough to attend to me... The doctor took my temperature and it was 39 degree Celsius! My bones were aching more than ever and I couldn't wait to get out of the room. It was way too cold and my bones were really aching.

Got my prescription of many colorful pills and went grocery shopping. Bought lots of juicy fruits and for some odd reason, I got Koko Crunch... Guess I just wanted to eat something that doesn't require cooking. It's been ages since I had Koko Crunch. Oh and I got Vitagen too, grape and original flavor.

I feel much better now but still light headed and bones are still aching. Most probably I won't go to work tomorrow. I could use the rest and I haven't done my laundry... It has been pouring yesterday and today I'm sick.

I shall go get my mug of Koko Crunch now. Hungry...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Can You Hear Me?

Urgh... I surely can't hear myself... It's all the clubbing last night, aggravated my condition and now I can't hear myself. Nope I'm not going deft but I totally lost my voice. I sound like a toad. William Hung sounds like Mariah Carey doing a perfect high octave talking next to me...


Sore throat + Drinking + Clubbing = Disaster Waiting to Happen.

And disaster did happen.

To make things worse, I only had four hours of sleep this morning because I promised B that I'll go to Port Dickson with him for an event. Slept at five and woke up at nine. This is not good for my health and not to mention dark circles and eye bags!

The event was so bla... Despite being a media representative, we were not treated well. It was total disappointment and I shan't elaborate more. I am sick and I shan't stress over this bla event.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

State The Nature Of Your Medical Emergency

How I wish I have a holographic doctor just like the one in Star Trek Voyager to help cure me of my medical emergencies... I'm in dire pain. Pain beyond belief and oh, the emotional turmoil that it has caused me. I am scarred for life~~~

Well not really. I'm just being melodramatic as usual. For about a month now, my fingertips have developed a skin condition due to the stupid El Cheapo dishwasher solution. I was using it back in campus where I literally camped in my room day and night. Washing my plates and utensils made the skin dry and started peeling...

But that was alright once I stopped using it and applied loads of moisturiser.

Then it came back again and now worse I think. Just today, I peeled of a new layer of dry skin... I don't understand why cause I actually stopped washing the dishes... What could have irritated it more?

Are my fingers curse to forever be skinless. Expose my fragile naked finger flesh?

The nakedness. Exposed.

Any tips on how to get rid of this unsightly and irritating condition?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Mount Vesuvius Returns

Arrrgh. I hate pimples! I have one bloody huge one on my forehead and its throbbing... I am in pain! I think this one has been rippening since I got back to KL. Its the aftermath of me doing the stressful calculations. I tend to touch my forehead when I'm concentrating on my work. One of those habits I guess.

See.

Work = Bad Facial!

Well I'm now back in campus. Away from civilization. Away from SALES! Away from shopping. This is sad.

I foresee tonnes of working coming my way. Presentation on Wednesday and a test on Friday. Just fantastic...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Fever

Poor me, I was sick with fever last night. Throat infection and cold but thank goodness I recovered fast. Some sleep, loads of water comsuption and lots of loo visit in between my sleep seemed to do the trick.

For some weird reason, this came to mind when I was down with fever.


I simply love Kylie Minogue. Hahahah. My gay icon besides Madonna and Cher.

Anyhow, good thing that I was feeling fine when I got up though not fully recovered. I was light headed, groggy, disorientated and slightly deaf. Well I'm better now but my throat is still sore. I shall keep sucking on Strepsils, they seem to be doing the trick.

On a brighter side of things, Sam and I are finally going to be scandalous colleages starting this Monday. We are officially hired (once we sign the contract that is). Heheh.

-Live Long & Prosper

Photo Post

I have so many posts to back-post! So I'm just gonna let the photos in this post do the talking. I just hope no one faints looking at the photos.





The End.

-Live Long & Prosper

This is For Your Own Good

For today's post, I figure I should do something that will benefit the queer sociaty. Be a good queer citizen once in a while you know. Plus, its something extra to do in the showers. I love showers.

And here it is. How to fondle/check your balls for any abnormality. How fun! Do watch the clip and practice what the old fart doc tells you to do.



I find it odd how the doc wasn't using gloves when he's examining the guy's testicles. Pity the guy isn't much to look at, besides his testicles...

Well there's always the alternative to get the oh-so-hawt-and-sexy Doc Paul to do it for yea. I'm sure he's glad to fondle/check testicles for a change of scenery. Queue here for Doc Paul's special treatment.

Excuse me while I go shower.

-Live Long & Prosper

Neurotomy

Neurotomy or better known as denervation is a procedure to remove nerves to relief pain. This is of course done in extreme cases when other methods have been exhausted to try to relief pain.

There's also another use of neurotomy which is to remove sensations and this doctor has a radical procedure to help cure premature ejaculation. It removes some nerves within the penis itself and some from the scrotum. As if that's not enough, the foreskin is removed as well...

The logic is, the less sensation to the penis, the longer the ejaculation can be delayed. Sounds simple enough but it looks extremely painful and mutilated...

Take a look at the procedure and be warned that it is very graphic.


Never knew that premature ejaculation can be a cause of a failing marriage. The pain better be worth it for the guy...

-Live Long & Prosper

AIDS Awareness

I realised that this country has virtually no massive awareness campaign on AIDS considering that its a global issue. There are those like the Pink Triangle Foundation but it doesn't reach the masses. Only those who are in the know will know about the campaign.

I found two videos in YouTube that are quite hilarious yet still deliver the message effectively, practise safe sex.

Take a look at it.



I doubt we'll be seeing these on the local television anytime soon.

-Live Long & Prosper

Body Aches

Woke up to a sms early in the morning and aches all over my body. My joints felt like rusted gear trying to move without any grease. I felt like an old fart. Fabulous old fart that is.

La Faghag implicated that the body aches maybe due to too much rampant sex throughout the weekend... Seriously, why are all my friends so skanky?! Or maybe its just La Faghag.

Good news is my fever subsided. Guess I don't have to go see the doctor here then. Even my throat feels fine too.

Yey. Miraculous recovery. Must have been my stuffed toys. Hahhaha. A little TLC goes a long way.

I'm not the only one who's sick. McDave's sick too. Last night he said he had a hint of fever and sore throat as well. Poor baby. I hope he's better today.

Sore Throat

I am back in campus again. Arrived a few moments ago and it was raining like cats and dogs. At least that gave La Faghag's car a thorough wash it desperately needed. Hehhehe.

Anyhow, I'm down with sore throat and fever... Of all things to happen, why am I falling sick now...

I think I know why. Its combination of the food I've been consuming throughout the weekend. Durian, Korean BBQ, Chocolate Fondue and Secret Recipy cakes that my mom stoked up in the fridge...

Oh poor me. I got assignments and projects to do still...

Someone nurse me by my bedside.

Doctor Paul?

Mc Dave?

Anyone?

Morning Air

Morning jogs are lovely and I think I'm addicted to jogging in the morning. Nothing like waking up to fresh air and morning sun. Birds displaying spectacular aerodynamic display and chirping lovely songs that filled the otherwise quiet surroundings (not that I can hear it with my ear plugged to the earphone).

I really enjoyed my jog this morning simply because I was the only one on the running track. There's something zen-ish jogging alone in the morning. Just so peaceful and calm.

Its just me and the track.

Jogging track.

Mornings are starting to be my favourite time of the day. I still favor my nights filled with rampant sex. Heheheh.

Can't deny me of my rampant sex.

-Live Long & Prosper

Doctor Oh Doctor

Something is lodged in my throat and its irritating me for a few days now... I can't seem to figure out what it is and I suspect it to be a chicken bone or something (sorry to disappoint you guys who thought it was a severed penis.). It was really bugging me today at work. I informed my boss about it and I headed to Gleneagles Hospital before lunch.

Thank goodness there wasn't many people in the Accident & Emergency where outpatients check in. Saw the doctor that we always see for years now. I told him of my situation and he told me to get an x-ray. Man, x-ray took about an hour from taking the x-ray and getting the results... I kinda felt asleep waiting for it. Did read a little of The God Delusion but was way too sleepy to process anything.

Here's my x-ray.

Oooo lookie lookie.

Looks kinda weird seeing my skeletal like that. He found nothing lodged in my throat. If you look closely, you can see my stud. That's about as foreign a foreign object can be found on the film. I'm curious yet disturbed at the same time why there's so little brain matter that shows on the film... They look like hairballs to me...

Since the x-ray showed nothing, he referred me to an Ear, Nose & Throat specialist. He did the whole spray something icky into mouth, shoved in a steel tube and enjoyed the journey down my throat. Found nothing again... Though he did ask me to come again on Monday for further check up. I can still feel the freaking thing down my throat...

So that was the drama I had...

Check out this poster they have in the lift. The guy in the poster is so HAWT! I wanna get my regular full check-up done by him. Hehhee.

So HAWT!!!

-Live Long & Prosper

Muscular Knots

I was abruptly awaken from my slumber, not by a nightmare but by an unbearable, excruciating pain on my left calf. It was so painful that I nearly woke up screaming my lungs out. But this pain was all too familiar to me. I have had my fair share of, what we call cramps. It hurts like a bitch every time I get it...

Cramps it seems has two causes, one from the build up of lactic acid and the other lack of water and salt. Lactic acid build up happens due to inadequate oxygenation especially when we exercise. The other is just simply low intake of water and salt. The former seems unlikely since the only 'rigorous exercise' I do is walk to work from LRT station. The cramp that I experienced is called 'Nocturnal Leg Cramp'.

I learned a nifty trick to reduce the trauma of cramps. Cramps make the muscle to contract involuntarily and violently. Whenever there's a cramp coming along, I'll extend / stretch my muscle preventing the muscle from contracting. I do this till the cramp stops. I feel it reduces the pain after the cramp.

I remember when I was still in high school, I woke up from my sleep screaming like I was in some horror movie. I had cramps on both my left and right calves. Talk about shitty luck. I was in total agony and it was a very long episode of cramps. I literally cried that night. The next morning, I could barely limped and my calves were very weak and sore.

I gotta start drinking more water and eat more salt. I should reduce wanking frequency to conserve water than eh? I should start eat bananas too.

Hmmm... Anyone willing to offer me bananas?

-Live Long & Prosper