Really Now...

I got this really annoying and stupid email. How can people fall for this is beyond me. They should know better to think that people don't just go around giving out money, Christian or not...

Dearest in Lord,

My name is Mrs Richain Luis nationality of Kuwait. I am married to late Mr James Luis who worked with Kuwait embassy in IvoryCoast for nine years before he died in the year Octorber 2006. We were married for twenty years with a child. He died after a the illness that lasted for long four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians. When my late husband was alive we deposited the sum of $7 Million (seven Million U.S. Dollars) with one of good banks here in Cote d'Ivoire. Presently, this money is still with the bank. Recently my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to my cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke.

Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in, I want a person or church that will use this fund to churches, orphanages, research centres and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I have a child that will inherit this money but my son can not carry out this work only because i and my late husband decide to use some of the money to work for God and live some for our son Dennis to have a better live.

Our son is just 19 year old now and been grow up in africa, he had low mentality and my husband´s relatives are not Christians and I don´t want my family hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision.I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going to. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I want your telephone communication in this regard because of my health because of the presence of my family relatives around me always, I don't want any of my husband family relatives to recieve this money. With God all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Finance/bank. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the new beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I live a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or Christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated here. Expecting to hearing from you on this private, mailbox.

Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.

Mrs Richain Luis

I thought that their child died?

Misused by unbelievers?

La-di-da-di-da.

Such nonsense.

-Live Long & Prosper

Possessed Computer?

Just look at the timestamp on this post. Its freaking 4.40 in the MORNING... Such ungodly hour to post a post but that's just the time this post was being drafted. I woke up much earlier than that say about 3.30. Thank goodness I slept early last night or I'll have a terrible headache and feeling lethargic the whole day.

I was rudely awaken by my computer turning itself on and off repeatedly. At first it didn't bug me but the humming noise it made was enough to annoy me. I turned off my computer intentionally before I slept so that I can have a quiet night sleep but my computer had to go amok with the turning on and off business...

It was eerie at first that my computer did this, as though a vengeful spirit kept pressing on the power switch. Prior to this, the switch that powered the computer flipped by itself. Very bizarre. But in the midst of my annoyance, I turned off the computer manually and went back to sleep.

Tried as I may to sleep, I couldn't. I kept thinking what was wrong with my computer. Why did it act the way it did? I got out of bed and started troubleshooting. Took me about 40 minutes to figure out what was the cause. My computer's power switch is fucked... I'm not sure how but I know its fucked. Just great...

I managed to get my computer running again and I'd probably leave my computer running from now on until I replace the switch or the whole computer case. Turning the computer on manually is a bitch. I'll have to open the case, take a screwdriver and make a circuit connection at the power switch pins on the motherboard. Don't follow? Its basically like how thieves start a car without using the keys like in the movies. Connect two wires to get the car started.

Humbug I tell you, humbug...

-Live Long & Prosper

Days of The Dead?

Strange things I see while walking to class these days. At first, I didn't think much of it but it just gotten a little odd after the second encounter. Times like these are what makes my K800i handy.

Imagine you're walking and listening to your music. You're just walking back to your room. Then bang... Something huge just stepped on you and you died. Doubt there'll be an open coffin funeral for yea.

I bet that was how the lizzard right before it got squished...

Squished lizzard.

Poor little feller...

But the next encounter I had was very sad. I saw a kitten lying on the floor but it wasn't breathing. Poor kitten, probably only a few weeks old and to die by the side walk. Life is cruel it seems but I guess a larger picture is, the survival of the fittest is more important in nature.

Sleep tight now little kitty.

Then there was this broken figurine of a sort that was laying on the ground of pebbles. Poor little thing.

Broken and wasted.

Sigh.

-Live Long & Prosper

Woof Woof Goes The Dog

Dogs. Some of us love them, some of us hate them while some of us are allergic to them. Personally, I love dogs though I prefer cats more for some reason. Jack Russell or Huskies are wonderful to have. How I wish I have a pet.

Many people consider dogs as man's best friend, hunting buddy or just lovely companions to have in general. We hear many heroic stories that involve dogs saving a human life and stuff like that. Dogs are generally wonderful.

But what about sex partner?

Yes you read it right, sex partner. I recently was exposed to the world of zoophilia. Kinda shocking and it was definitely a first for me. I got two dog porns from a certain someone just to satisfy my curiosity. Both are short clips though.

The dog zoophilia porn went like so:

Girl tease dog.

Dog licks girl.

Girl bends over.

Dog climbs on girl and humps away. (so that's where they coined the term doggie style)

And repeat the whole cycle all over again. Depending on what sort of dog it is, the sex can be quite rough. The dog is surprisingly generally quiet. It is the girl that moans like there's no tomorrow (sounded like wailing banshees to me actually).

Don't worry McDave, we won't be having any quadrupeds in our love making sessions.

Well, save for the stuffed toys but they don't count.

I love my stuffed toys but I love my McDave more.

-Live Long & Prosper

Freaks of La Faghag

The first word I use whenever I am asked to describe la faghag is beautiful. Though she doesn't think so but she is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful girl I've known. Physically and internally, she's can rival any Miss World contestant and I would immediately crown her as Miss World hands down. She is the best faghag any fag could ever hope for and the most stunning girl alive.

However, with beauty comes desperado freaks. To date, there are three that I know of. Let us start the first with someone from university. Call him Choke as in, "I tried to say goodbye and I choked.". He is the desperate desperado and boy he annoys the hell out of la faghag. Many times she's refused his offer to dinners, movies and all other outings but he don't seem to get the hint.

Since last year till today, he calls her to go out. He's not being persistent but more like a splinter that gotten under the skin and no matter how hard you dig, it ain't coming off. You need the bigger boys to do the job, operate it out like a cancer. Must she bring a guy (probably me) and hold hands with her to appear before him then only he'll stop bugging her?

Next is a desperate loner that we knew him on our first day of internship. He's from a different department but sat at the same floor as us (our floor is small). We knew there was something 'off' about him, something not quite right. Then slowly we discovered how creepy he is... I don't know how to describe the creepiness (selective amnesia since there were so many traumatic experiences) but bottom line he is creepy.

Recently he got bolder, right at the threshold of sexual harassment. He would call her and say weird ass stuff. He would forward her emails and they contain messages like this.

Task you have to complete:

If you could rewrite the alphabet, what are going to put together!

Freaky Answer:

If I could rewrite the alphabet I'd put U and I together! Ha..ha..

WTF...

Oh and I forgot, he's FUCKING married...

Last is desperate greedy prick. He's got the balls to try and double time la faghag. See being in my department, we know EVERYTHING or have access to EVERYTHING. He thought I wouldn't find out if he's got a girlfriend or not. Stupid ass. Even till today, he denies that he has a girlfriend and keeps calling her for outings.

What prick...

Sigh.

It is alright love, your Prince will come. After all these freaks clear the coast, you'll see your Prince. Meanwhile, I'll be your Knight-in-shining-armor to fend off these savage beasts.

-Live Long & Prosper