æ: But that might also be tied to the Western espousal for individualism. Asian cultures tend to be more collectivistic – though I don’t know how much of an impact that has on their gay cultures. Anyway, you’ve been with your partner monogamously for 18 years. That’s amazing. What’s the secret to long-term gay monogamy?
Graham: Well, we’re both openly gay, so all our friends and family know about us. When you tell everyone you’re a couple (instead of being secretive of it), there’s a bigger incentive to make the relationship work.
The other secret is making friends with other gay couples in long-term relationships. We tend to have a good effect on one another. Of course, we have other friends too – single, gay, straight, married, etc – but it’s important to have gay friends who are also in LTRs.
I’ve been with my partner Alex for 18 years. I know him so well that, at any time, I can say something that will make him furious in 10 seconds flat, so furious that he’ll want to break up with me. He can do the same to me. But I don’t do it because I don’t want to. We both look at things in the long-term: We’re not getting any younger, thinner or prettier. So we don’t want to ruin what we have and start all over again.
The problem is, as you get older, you start to ask yourself these questions a lot: “Am I still attractive to men? Would other men want to be with me?” We start to look to other men to validate our attractiveness. And that’s when the problem begins. Of course, there’s always the novelty of seeing someone else and enjoying a new body! But at the end of the day, you have to remember your values and the commitment and respect that you have for your partner. You don’t just want to fuck that up.
I personally think what he says is true and its a huge effort to make a relationship work but in the end, its worth the while to have someone loving and caring to depend on.
I love you McDave and know that I'm always by your side no matter what.
-Live Long & Prosper
3 comments:
Yays. :)
Yays? That's like the shortest comment I've got from you.
I have been with my partner for 27 years. we have been going thru a very difficult crisis.I love him very much and I am commited to him but he feels that he loves me very much but he is not in love with me as he was, also the sex connection, he refers as not there anymore.Althouh we have lots of property and bussiness together plus a live long of achievements. He wants to end our relatioship.
I know that is natural due to the amount of years together, that there is confusion, doubt and questioning about in love and sex.
I believe that in a long relationship every thing can be reshaped or worked out.
Can any one could shed some light so maybe It could help us solve our crisis.
Sad lover
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