Reap What Others Sow

All week long when I was offshore, food wastes were tossed into the sea. Waste not, want not. What better way than to feed the fishes. They say looking at fishes swim about give a sense of serenity and it does. Maybe it is part serene and part amusement when the fishes fight for the food. It is good for the soul after all.

It is what I look forward to everyday to feed the fishes and watch them swim after a laborious day of work. Tossing food overboard from the platform and looking down onto the fishes chow down on lunch. Did not take the others to start fishing upon seeing swarms of fishes gathering around the leftovers. It is an easy catch after all when all the fishes are on frenzy feast.

Fish they did but it took a little ingenuity. These fishes are not as dumb as they seemed. Fishing hook must be kept well hidden in the bait. Bury the hook deep into the chicken wing or attach pieces of sausages around the hook. Fool the fish and you get dinner.

This bugger weights nearly three kilograms!

That is enough to feed a family of three but the fishes on my platform are considered small. The big fishes are on another platform and the size of it are huge! Think barbecue party for ten.

So perhaps it is part serene, amusement and amazement.

You know you love me.
Queer Ranter

The Favourite

After notifying my supervisors of my hand and wrist injury, I think they panic and went on an overly concerned mode. They kept asking about the orthopedic diagnosis and what the prognosis is. So much so, they kept trying to reach me and finally when they got a hold on me:

SV: QR, hello. How's the hand?
QR: It's alright. Just keeping it idle.
SV: Alright. I would like you to clear your leave. Take a week off. You've been offshore for far too long.
QR: Leave? Who? What? Why? Do you have enough people in the office?
SV: Yea no worries.

Honestly, I never saw this coming from my "Rule with an iron fist" Supervisor but I am not complaining. My other colleagues are envious but they are not surprised as they dubbed me as "The Favourite". I shall gladly take the leave. Well I am already into the leave in KL! The Doctor insists that I come back so he can work his "magic healing" on my hand and wrist through some sort of endurance training that involves the bed... I am starting to doubt he's a real doctor.

My poor disabled hand.

As for the orthopedics' diagnosis, it is a mild case of CTS. I am to keep my wrist immobile as much as possible to let the nerve heal naturally. This means less autoeroticism activities with the right hand, less typing, basically less everything with the right hand. I have to be a lefty till the right hand is better. So the doctor instructed me to wear a splint.

Claw of The Disabled Hand!

So unglam and straight right... Why could it not be pink with glitters?! I need rhinestones and turn it into an accessory ala Lady Gaga. However it is good for one thing, it attracts attention and sympathy! Yes I bask in attention and sympathy. Such attention whore I know.

You know you love me.
Queer Ranter

Pulling Invisible Strings

Quote Yer how nice to have a doctor for a BF unquote. Wise words from Alexander The Gay while The Doctor was consulting him work related injury claim. Milk them for all they are worth as they say but unfortunately, no good news on the claiming. No matter, I got something else just as good.

Apparently The Doctor has been making many calls about my hand/wrist injury. Starting with the medic. I gasped and almost had a fit when I heard he called the medic. He called me but I could not be reached so he asked for the medic instead. I was expecting a lecture from The Doctor and wounded the medic's ego so much that he will jump off the platform and never to be seen again. No such thing happened.

Instead, it was the Medical Officer and Houseman authoritative communication system, "do as I say or I'll spank you in front of the patients". The Doctor insists that the syndromes are consistent with CTS and I should be sent home. More work will aggravate the condition. Lo and behold, the medic said alright and I'm going home tomorrow by chopper!

Talk about a medical evacuation.

The medic till now still is not convinced it is CTS. Muscle strain or nerve problem were his prognosis from repetitive work. Does that not sound like CTS... Better still he still thinks it is possibly gout, no matter how remote the chances of me getting that.

I will go to the hospital tomorrow and meet an orthopedic for a clinical diagnosis on my poor right hand. I wonder if I need a wrist guard... Are wrist guard the "in" thing now?

You know you love me.
Queer Ranter

Painkiller The New Penicillin?

People only appreciate something once it is lost, definitely true with my thumb. No I did not loose my thumb but it's temporarily having restrictive movements and unable to handle stress and strain. Stress injury from work I reckon. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is a bitch or so I suspect it is CTS. Repetitive motion on my right hand mainly opening metal taps for sampling crude oil, weakness while using my thumb and pain when gripping on something. Sounds like CTS.

I went to the medic for consultation and boy was I amused. I explained to him the condition of my thumb, he took a look at it and felt the area surrounding my thumb. There's a slight swelling but nothing too significant like the size of a turkey drumstick. Just a little bigger than usual and it is soft.

Maybe it is gout he said even after asking if I've been having red meat for my meals. I don't overdose myself with protein if that was what he was going at. Not like I have much use for those excess protein here anyways. I am not lifting weights to build mass nor do I have bulky muscles to sustain them... I have even attempted to suggest that it may be CTS but judging from his expression I might as well have some exotic tropical disease like Ebola...

I think The Doctor was practically rolling his eyes when I told him what the medic said. He would throw a fit at the medic if he is here. Maybe a man overboard drill too. Gotta love The Doctor for his charms.

So what does the medic do when presented a patient that is experiencing the above syndromes? Give him painkillers and tell the patient to observe the following days. Sounds like the early days of antibiotic. Fever? Here have a jab of Penicillin.

I hope my thumb gets well in the following days. Shall give the thumb a little break. What a great excuse to be idle out here in the sea and feed the fishes!

I shall stop typing now. I do not want to risk injuring it more. How am I to perform my daily ritual of autoeroticism?

You know you love me.
Queer Ranter

Those Aren't For You

The Doctor always say I'm too nice for my own good. Not able to say no to many things and when I do say no to something, I do it ever so gently and polite with a smile. I swear I was born to be in the service industry rather than in oil and gas industry. I can so imagine myself being the star barista in Starbucks or a dolly trolley air steward.

Take my recent encounter with a Jehovah's Witness. Apparently my aunt gave my number to this preacher with the assumption I might be interested to be saved by the Lord. If only she knew I like to take it up the rear. Then again, whoever thought I am straight are deft, blind and dumb in more ways than one...

So this preacher gave me a call and I get very weary when unregistered number calls me. I picked up the call regardless and he started introducing himself and all that jazz. It was rather long winded but I endured with my eyes constantly rolling in my eye sockets. When he asked if I was interested, I said "No but thanks anyways. Appreciate it much.". Silly bottom as The Doctor puts it.

The things I do to be nice but that slight irritation was considered mild compared this.

I share a room with another offshore technician when I'm offshore. It was a typical after working hours relaxing in the room. I was playing with my iPhone and my laptop was playing Janet Seidel. I was on the bottom bunk while he was on the top bunk looking down at laptop.

Then he asked if he could take a look at my laptop and I allowed it. Nothing to hide really except some files in "Unsorted Torrents" folder. Eventually he got to that folder.


Maybe he won't noticed the few porn I have stashed in there but he saw it! How can he missed it with title Cream BBoys or School Boys Gone Wild and he opened one of the file The introduction video rolled in.

OT: Oh what's this?
Me: Hmmmm those aren't for you. Close close.
OT: (he fast forward the scene) Wah. Are they trans?
Me: Uh no. They're real guys.
OT: Ooooo.

I couldn't tell what his expressions were. Amazement or confusion. Maybe he knew since day one he met me? Anyhow, I left him for further exploration while I chat with The Doctor over the phone. He did open a few more, I could hear the moans of pleasure from the porn.

Silly bottom indeed...

You know you love me.
Queer Ranter

QR Is Back!

Good gosh! My dear blog has been left unattended for two months and will you look at the virtual dusts that settled on it... Resuscitating a dying blog sure is hard especially when the momentum of blogging has been lost. I kinda feel a little weird typing this post even!

This is the price I paid for being ever so busy and workaholic at work, not forgetting the constant hitch offshore for several weeks. I'm well albeit tired from constant hard day's work, be it physical labour of the ever tiring job of "tai chi" paperwork. How else am I going to feed myself, yes?

Anyhow, I have several posts lined up for the coming days. So stay tune.

You know you love me.
Queer Ranter