Pink Monday

Sigh. Had to go to work today... I think its stupid. Smack in the middle of a potentially long and lazy weekend off till Wed and what do they do? Ruin it and force us intern to go to work. *sob sob Luckily my colleagues came to work too so that wasn't so bad. Misery loves company.

I just realized that every Monday is a Pink Monday for me. I'll wear my favorite pink stripe shirt to fend off the Blue Monday syndrome. Seems to be working. Hehehe. I need to get more pink cloths. I reckon if there's a mascot for pink, I'll be it. Hahhaha. I know self praise is no praise right? Or as we all call it, "Perasan".

Oh well, back to playing online mahjong, which does not involve me stripping in anyway.

-Live Long & Prosper


Been thinking lately.

Been thinking a lot actually.

But just as a dog will never stop chasing its tail.

It is not taking me anywhere.

-Live Long & Prosper

J. P. Calderon

I was watching The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency Season Two for like the whole day today. I know this show was airing earlier this year but I only got around to it now. I love the show so much but pity it stopped at the ninth episode... I want more... More beautifully sculpted men to look at.

Well enough of ogling at adonis and drooling all over myself. J.P. Calderon was in Survivor and now in JDMA. I truly admire him (mostly his physique) and have tremendous respect for this man. There was one particular episode that hit home to me.

The Editor In Chief of Instinct Magazine, a magazine for gay people, wanted to feature JP on the cover page of their February Swimsuit edition. He specifically requested for JP but there was one catch. The model featured on the cover are only for gays who are out of the closet. Janice didn't know about him being gay or not but she had to approach JP about this huge offer.

Janice Dickinson: I have a client that wants to book you for Instinct Magazine but there's a catch, they have to use gay man on the cover. Would you be interested in doing this if you were a gay man or if you're not a gay man its really non of my business and I feel really awkward asking.

I can see JP was really uncomfortable at this point. He wasn't talking right. He kept mumbling, shivering and flipping the magazine randomly. Even Janice was stumped trying to comfort and guide JP.

JP Calderon: I'll do it but
I guess I just don't want to give up like a sense of my masculinity.
JD: There's nothing wrong with your masculinity, JP.
JP: I don't want to be stereotyped negatively. I like being a man. I like to be...
JD: There's nothing wrong with that. Being a man is not being an athlete or big muscles. Its about being honest, it being a man having true convictions to yourself.

Some of the things he said in the show:

JP: You're scared of losing the people that are so close to you, being your best friends, your close friends and most importantly your family. And I just, I don't want to be considered a disappointment.

JP: I hate hating myself. That I truly hate myself. I truly don't like who I am and maybe this is my way of letting go and finding out who's going to accept me and finding out who's not.

JP: I'm just tired of living this facade of something that I am not and I just want to start living of something that I am.

I just thought I'd share with you guys out there. I am so proud of him and what an inspiration he is (again, his physique). Oh and this is the cover for the magazine. He's so cute and hot.

-Live Long & Prosper

Gift From Notroh Woods

This year, I'm extremely happy with so many people celebrating my birthday. Its enough to make up for all the years that my birthdays had gone uncelebrated and unheeded. Thank you all so very much and I really appreciate it a lot. Hugs to all and I am blessed to have you guys in my life.

I got another pleasant surprise from the inhabitants of Notroh Woods. Far away as they may be, they never fail to cheer me up when I'm down and make me all happy again in a flash. Even for my birthday, they got me something.

Hmmm what is this I wonder.

Oooo, yellow yellow dirty fellow? No pink wrapper ah?

Awwww. I love this so much~~~ Lavender oil. My favorite.

Thank you so much you guys, I really appreciate it. Thanks to JL as well for taking the time to meet me to give this lovely gift. See Alex, I can refrain myself from groping him. :P

-Live Long & Prosper

Book Sale

Times Book Sale~~~

I love sales. Year End Sale. Clearance Sale. Mid Year Sale. Whatever sale I love it. So when I read there's a book sale today, I got all hyped up and super excited. Immediately, I told la faghag about it and she too got all excited.

Come to think of it, this is my first book sale. I've never been to any book sales before. At first glanced, I was in awe. There's like tonnes of books on endless rows of tables set up. Hidden treasures that await me under piles and piles of book. I didn't even know where to begin. Its not like waking into Kinokuniya and go to the search kiosk to look for the book I want.

Though it didn't take me long to get the book that I've been meaning to get but never did get around to it. The first book that I spotted was Tuesdays With Morrie and beside it was The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Night-Time. I just grabbed them. Dig, dig and dig and I found A Short History of Nearly Everything and immediately after that, Blink. I've decided that I better just grab any books and put them into the basket first then choose which one to buy later.

Was rather happy with the selection of books that I had in my pink-ish basket. I didn't find anything else for quite sometime. Browse, browse and browse some more, deeper and deeper into this goldmine of books. My fingers and eyes were getting irritated by the books that were literally covered with dust. Proved to me how long these books were kept in the storage.

Then a bright yellow book caught my eye. Hmmm curious bright yellow book with white writings on the sides. Upon closer inspection, I knew I found my gem. It was Queer Eye For The Straight Guy~~~ And guess what, it was only RM30~~~ Happy happy joy joy~~~ Now I feel complete as a fag. I love the Fab Five so much and I think they are absolutely fabulous. Poor books... Left in storage to collect dust.

This should be enough to stock me for a few months.

Spent the rest of my time in there wondering aimlessly looking for nothing in particular. I already had the book I've always wanted. Curious though, I seem to find interesting books laying around. La faghag actually said, "Why do you always find those kinky books?". Its not like I can help it you know. I'm very in tune in finding books with word "SEX" as the title. I didn't get them of course since they're all straight stuff anyways...

I did get something that might come in handy one day. Its called "Boyfriend Training Kit". I didn't know what it was when I got it but it looked interesting enough for me to get for RM5. There's a sticker on it saying, "The indispensable accessory for boyfriend owners everywhere.". Tell me that wouldn't get your attention hmmm? This is what's inside of the brown envelope. You bet your fagness I didn't regret getting this.

I think this is so cute.

After three hours of book dowsing, we were already starving and decided to eat banana leaf rice for lunch. Yummy and I ate so much... Can't deny good food. This was what we ate. By the time I got back, I was already sleeping... You can see why.

Banana Leaf Rice... Yummy

For dinner, I met up with Koala. Its about freaking time actually after about a year chatting with him. It was just a simple 'yam cha' and chat about general stuff, nothing in particular. Then he sent me home after that. Sweet guy actually got me a birthday gift. A nice night lamp. Thanks Koala~~~

Funky lamp to keep the bogey man at bay.

-Live Long & Prosper

22 Years & A Day Old

I'm really excited to be a year older. This means I have about another year till I graduate and enter the working world. I can't wait to be independent and have a job of my own and can take care of myself. That what this internship has taught me and I learned so much more of the corporate world from my boss. Of course there are somethings that I don't agree on how he does things but its all good. He taught me things that other interns do not learn about.

That's all good an all. But I found several things that are shocking. Its as shocking as when human discovered that the Earth was not flat or that the Earth actually orbits the Sun.

So what's so shocking that I discovered? I discovered FINE LINES on my face. *sob sob. I'm too young to have fine lines. Oh how can this be... I need botox injection then I'll have smooth perfect face. I'll have the same expression on my face for all my expressions but heck, its worth it no? It worked for Janice Dickinson. Nevermind if I can't move my facial muscles right as long as I'm fabulous. Heheheh.

Accompanied with fine lines on my face were white hairs... They are annoying buggers. Its not my black hair that turns gray then white. Its new fine hairs that grow white and its so hard to pluck it off. *grrrr Maybe I should dye and highlight my hair. I wonder what colour I should do. Hmmmm... But they're rather pricey... RM188 for cut, dye, highlight and I'm not sure if treatment is included.

-Live Long & Prosper

Happy Birthday To Me

*phone vibrates by the pillow*

Where you are the one, the one that lies close to me.

Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly."

I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.

That there's no place else I could be but here in your arms.



*blink blink

OH its my birthday today~~~ Dem I have to work... Sigh. Wake up. Fiddle on the keyboard and mouse. Click click click type type type. Read messages saying "Happy Birthday" from everyone. Thanks people.

Suddenly I hear a voice in my head, "Once you're 20, 30 will come in a flash.". *grumble grumble... Deng that stylist of mine.

Anyhow, went to shower, dried myself, styled my hair (oh soo leng chai), moisturized my skin, squirt many squirts of Oceanus and put on my contacts. Of course put on cloths. I wasn't planning to go nude today even though its my birthday and all. Its not like the police will understand me being nude in public just because its my birthday. Though I would love to since everyone is demanding me to strip...

Went to work all pumped up with energy and excitement. Party party. Woot woot. Yep, I celebrated my birthday in my office. Every month on every floor is allocated RM200 for a birthday celebration. So happened that my floor only has like 20 people or so, I was the only one born this month. So basically, happy birthday to me~~~

La faghag ordered Tiramisu cake from a bakery nearby and it was so yummy. Its got "Happy Birthday " on it and its covered with nuts. I love nuts. Yummy. I love cream too. Double yummy. It was really nice when everyone on the floor started singing Happy Birthday. By protocol, the CEO of the company has to be present for it and he did turn up. First guy to pop in too. He gives a certain aura of command yet compassionate. I respect him a lot.

For lunch, we ordered Domino's Pizza. I love Domino's. They've got the best topping and crust compared to PizzaHut... We had like four large pizzas, two banana kaya dessert pizzas, two bread sticks and three bottles of drinks. It was a nice lunch with everyone munching here and there and chat here and there. It was definitely a first for me to celebrate in a company.

In light of "the rubber piece" that fell off from the sole, I got my mom to go Avenue K to go shoe shopping. Hehehhe. Took me a while to browse through all the shoes they have there in Metrojaya and managed to reduce them to three choices. One from Pierre Cardin, another Renoma and the last Abermain (or something like that.). Tried all of them but chose the Pierre Cardin. Its so comfortable to wear and its so light. Though it didn't have the click clack sound when I walk on hard floor. Deng but its lovely.

Lovely pair of shoes. I love it.

I had a sudden craving for la mien after buying the shoes. Must be the leather smell. So we went to Shanghai Ten and I love the la mien there. I had the dumpling soup la mien while my mom only had the vege one. I ordered the durian pancake as well. I just love the durian pancake. So delicious and creamy.

Durian Pancake from Shanghai Ten.

And that was how my day went by. Pretty fun I say.

Not forgetting of course, gifts from Derek and William. In fact, I got these when Derek was here. I got a nice t-shirt and a super skanky underwear. The shirt you can see it well in the pic but not the underwear. The underwear is basically all mesh except the front where there's a tiny cloth covering it. Why not just all mesh hmm? Thanks guys. I have yet to wear the underwear. Saving it for a rainy day?

Awesome t-shirt and kinky underwear.

-Live Long & Prosper

Birthday Eve

Monday didn't started all that well for me. I was feeling a little tired and the gray weather sure didn't help much. Nothing much to do at work at the moment as well made me more sleepy than I already was.

Then the unspeakable thing happened... The rubber piece on my wooden sole gave way~~~ It was like a clean tear or something. Dem... It had to happen today... It was weird walking and it didn't have the click clack sound my heels hit the floor... So during lunch time, I went to the cobbler to get it glued and the guy told me if it gets wet, its gonna fall off again... Great... And guess what, it did rain. Perfect, just perfect. Well it did stick so that wasn't so bad.

After work was like a Speedy Gonzales for me. Dear Jase wanted party stuff and thank goodness for Toys 'R' Us downstairs. Got those noisy whistles and long balloons that you can bend it into a poodle or sword. I personally like them as it is. Straight, long and hard. :)

Then it was a sprint to the taxi stand to get to Low Yat Plaza ASAP to avoid the after work rush hour. I was desperately in need of a haircut. Thank goodness there wasn't that many people and my usual hairstylist was free. Washed my hair then cut. Was just talking random stuff and all. Halfway through, Jase met me there and it wasn't long till he was done cutting my hair. Washed my hair again to get rid of loose hair and he noticed that I was staring at him. Hahha. I was just looking cause he's kinda cute in his own way.
He asked why was I staring at him and I just said, "Oh just looking at your hair.". Heheh. I like my stylist. Friendly and nice. I usually just let him decide how to cut my hair and so far, I like em.

That was nearly 1840 by the time I was done and we had to, yet again, rush to Monorail to KL Central to Kelana Jaya where Takashi will pick us up to go steamboat buffet~~~ There we were greeted by McDave, Clayton and Jess. Eat eat eat, talk rubbish talk rubbish talk rubbish. Though, since the dinner was super late, my stomach was acting up a little so I didn't really ate that much. I only had one serving of fungus, liver and chicken and I was done eating.

I was so happy to receive so many pressies this year from all the sweet fags I know. Takashi and Jase gave me Pink Lion~~~ So sweet of them to get me the little lion. Hahah. The first thing it does when I opened it from the box was
molesting all the other stuffed toys I already have. Hmmm, that' pretty fast for a lion to blend in with the surroundings... Thanks you two.

Awwww. So cute all of them. Just look at that.

Then Clayton and Jess gave me a piggy. Its so cute and piggy like. Hahahha. Its for me to hang it on my phone but unfortunately its rather big. So for now I shan't hang it yet. My slacks can't really fit the piggy and my phone together but I will use em when I go out. Thanks you two too~~~

Little piggy even got my star sign. Oink oink.

McDave gave me 14 months worth of contact lenses~~~ OMG~~~ That's like siao man. No wonder I was wondering what the hell was inside that weighed like gold bars... I had been thinking for a long time now to get contacts but never did got around to get them and now ta da~~~ Thanks so much McDave. This means a lot to me especially coming from you.

Enough stock to last me till the end of nuclear winter.

By the time I got home, courtesy of Clayton, I was already beat though couldn't sleep. Was excited with all the things I got. Its really sweet of everyone. Thanks again. Lets celebrate more birthdays~~~

-Live Long & Prosper

Sunday Sunday Sunday

I don't know why but I'm so tired today. Didn't do much but tired. Perhaps its the weather. It rained then scorching sun after that. So freaking humid and hot...

And today is almost over. Where did my weekends go?

Its already Monday tomorrow. Not that I don't want to go to work but I don't feel rested...

At least I have something to look forward to tomorrow. :)

-Live Long & Prosper

Dual Celebration

Birthday celebration came early for me but came late for my friend Calvin. But at least we finally managed to celebrate it together. I know... So gay right? But he's far from being gay. He's as straight as... Well... Lets just say he's just straight.

It was a small celebration with five of us in the mini potluck. Seriously, there was so much food that it can feed a family of Somalia for a week. So says Calvin anyways. I just responded, "They're not here. Just eat.". I know I'm mean but bite me. La faghag came with a delectable Shepard's Pie that put my pasta pesto chicken and cheese to shame. Hehhe.
Calvin and la lesbian, got booze for unlimited Screwdrivers and also mash potatoes and more pasta. Oh not to mention there was a cake from San Francisco Cafe. Its chocolate cheese and boy it was delicious when eaten with Triple Chocolate Ice Cream. Oh I'm beginning to feel like a glutton.

I was basically drinking like a goldfish with the Screwdrivers. Most of the time, I asked for less orange juice. :P I drank drank drank then I felt light headed and my head heated up. Heheheh. Head turned as red as Rudolf The Red Nose Raindeer's nose. It was rather funny cause I was just blabbering crap and la lesbian was giggling all the way too.

Technically, today is not my birthday no matter which timezone you're in but la faghag had gotten me pressies. So sweet of her. Its from all of my friends in the group. So nice of them to contribute to it. I got a card, a wallet and a pair of boxers. The wallet is from Topman. It is just what I needed and I love it. Its much trendier compared to my old wallet. I've transfered all my stuff into the new wallet and toss out things I don't need. Its amazing how I managed to collect so much junks.

I found two photos of McDave that was slotted together with my cards and I didn't realized they were there. I held it for sometime, cleaned it a little from the smudges and plunged myself into memory lane. I decided to put the photos in my mini drawers for safe keeping. Fond memories.

The pair of boxers that she got me was from Zara. I just love boxers from Zara cause they have really cheeky prints. This one is dark blue, with sharks and balloon bubbles of a man. Guess what the message is. Its ManEater~~~ Its so cute and clever. Thanks love.

Then there's always the card. Its such a sweet card. I thought it was her kissing the serviette with her luscious lips but realized that it was prints. Silly me. Here's a picture of all the stuff I got.

Zara Boxers, Topman Wallet and a lovely card.

-Live Long & Prosper

More Cats Out Of The Bag

I came out to a bunch of strangers today. :P Almost every other Friday, I attend follow-up seminars to the Forum I attended in Singapore. Similar things goes on except its more detailed and a smaller group. Its so much more powerful than the Forum in Singapore and it really is something.

So there's always a sharing session before they move on to a new topic and I choose to share mine. But before that, I said I'm gonna do something unreasonable since that was one of the thing discussed last session. So I just came out there and then. It was easy to just say it compared to when I want to say it to my mom. I feel free and nothing bound me from being myself as a queer. Being queer is probably the best thing that ever happened in my life.

In return, I met another gay guy in my seminar and he just joined. I was eying him since he arrived. He's really cute and knowing me, Chinese dude with black shirt is enough to make me drool. I had to refocus myself to the seminar every time I catch myself drifting away. But then he said he is in a relationship of four years with his lover. Awwww. Deng. He's really nice and friendly but didn't get much opportunity to talk to him.

Oh and apparently, the gay dude that I knew from last session is a writer for Fridae. Mandarin articles. That's so awesome. Its always good to meet new queers. Shows that we are as diverse and successful as straight guys are.

I'm still waiting for my Prince Charming. Come out, come out wherever you are. I'm ready to move on but meanwhile, PROMISCUOUS sex is always welcome. Heheheh.

-Live Long & Prosper

Meow Meow Meow

So like I said, the cat is out of the bag. I'm not sure how long the chat about this is bad, the earth is going to end, you'll get AIDS and bla bla bla. Then, I went to my room with the pretense of getting water. Then through an ancient advance technology, GTalk, I PMed my bro in law in Aussie. The message was, "Call home. Mom knows.".

So went back out, sat down and listen, listen and listen some more. Then, ring ring the telephone rang.

Yes~~~ Divine intervention~~~
*Vienna Boys Choir sang in the back of my head

And I let them talk it out. My sis and bro in law knows about me and support me. Thanks sis and Walter~~~ Talk, talk, talk and talk. While me in my room talking to Walter about stuff.

The thing was, I didn't say it out really. It was more like I kept saying, I'm... I'm... And then she completed the sentence for me. I just nodded. She knew about it. Well, knowing me, who wouldn't know I'm gay? Even a blind, deft and dumb man a mile away would know I'm gay. :P The best part, my mom asked, "Is McDave gay?" I was like, ask him yourself lo and I shrugged. But she said, I know he is. He's a little girly. :P Wakakakak.

Oh well. So that was that. I'll just give my mom sometime to sink it all in. At least now we can talk better. Its all good for now.

-Live Long & Prosper

The Cat Is Really Out

I just came out to mom.

Not an ideal situation but its alright I'm guess.

The Bible lecture and stuff like that.

Oh well.

-Live Long & Prosper

Luna Bar

Just got back from Luna Bar and it is amazing. Seriously. I love this place so much. Its got great view, great variety of drinks like cocktails, mocktails to all sorts of other hard liquor and a place where everyone can chill out. The price is reasonable and I guess since its a weekday, there's no cover charge.

The crowd here is working class crowd, meaning 22 and above. No kids running around or pissed drunk sort of people. Its rather chill sort of place. Its got seats by the edge of the top floor where it overlooks KL and also faces KL Tower. On a good and clear night like tonight was, the scenery was breathtaking.

Here's some pictures of the place.

Top viewof Luna Bar.

This is the bar.

Just look at the view from up here.

Unfortunately, my K800i either doesn't really work that well at pitch dark places or I haven't fiddle with the options enough to get the right settings, I couldn't get good pictures of this place but I'll just upload it anyhow.

I had a Multiple Screaming Orgasms. Its so lovely. I thought I was having an orgasm when I had my first sip. Heheheh. Of course I didn't but it was so nice. Its really creamy and sweet. Come to think of it, its such a fag drink for a guy to order it and also comes with a tiny cherry as well.

Yummy Multiple Screaming Orgasm.

The waiters are cute. They wear a black polo shirt with Luna Bar logo and khaki shorts with ankle length socks and trainers. The guy waiters are rather fit judging from the cute bubble ass and nice toned legs. *droool

-Live Long & Prosper

Invasion Of The Weird Kind

I dreamed that I had a surgery to remove a small growth on the cheeks of my bum. It was a minor procedure so it wasn't as scary as any other surgery that I've been to in my lifetime. It only took about an hour.

I was able to walk after the surgery and another doctor called me to an examination room before I was discharged from the hospital. I was still in those gowns that they give patients to wear. The one where everyone can see your butt crack at the back.

The doctor asked me to enter the examination room, remove the gown and said he'll be right in. As I walked in, I noticed there was another patient, naked and was sitting on an examination bed. I'm guessing he was also waiting for that doctor. I removed my gown and stood next to the bed. Though, I don't remember who this person is or how he looked like.

The doctor entered and walked towards me. He asked me to turn around and bend over to me to examine my butt. Then he asked me to turn around and he examined/grope my testicles...

Just as things were going steamy, my freaking phone had to ring~~~ *grrrr I want to know what's next... Deng it.

I think it must be because I chatted with Doc Paul last night before sleeping. In fact, I think the doctor is Doc Paul in my dream... What does this mean? Is Doc Paul some sort of a psychic alien? Invading my dream is one of his kinky hobby? My brain's manifestation of a threesome?

-Live Long & Prosper


I've been known to have weird cravings every now and then. One of the most out of place cravings I had in the past was the craving for 'satay celup' and 'chicken balls rice' or was it 'chicken rice balls'? Heheheh. Nothing like a good day trip just to eat like a glutton.

Right now, there's only one thing in mind that I crave for. No it has nothing to do with me stripping in front of an audience. Though private audience, I may consider. Heheheh. Skanks the lot of you. The craving is...

Bunch of cam-whoring stuffed toys...

Yes, mahjong. I'm hooked... All thanks to Jase, Takashi, William, Derek and Kai Ting... All forced me to have a late night game at Jase's and Kai Ting's place... Though we only played threesome mahjong. A little too short for my liking but I like mahjong in any form it is played. All I can think about is mahjong.

I miss the sound it makes when the tiles hit each other.

I miss the feel of the tiles.

I miss the excitement of playing mahjong.

La faghag was teasing me for being so 'auntie' craving for a game of mahjong. Heheh. Well I'll be la fabulous queer mahjong player then.

We must set a date to play a foursome mahjong~~~ Come people before my mahjong set starts to decay beyond recognition.

-Live Long & Prosper

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

A little something I got few weeks back.

As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull.

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist.

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

I wonder if this is a true story. :P

-Live Long & Prosper


What is queer really? The traditional meaning of queer is strange or unusual but these days, it is also used to describe gays. Funny how they associate queer with gay but that is how it is isn't it? People thing we are some sort of estrange being and naturally, human have a tendency of fearing strange things instead trying to understand it.

But that's not what I'm going to blog about today. I've already written about it in the past and there it shall remain. What I want to blog about is discrimination. Discrimination that occurs within the queer community itself. Even worst, discrimination also occurs within queer friends. That is a sad thing really. So much for depending on each other for support regardless of circumstances.

People judge. Everyone judge. I judge. We love to judge and compartmentalize people into categories that we see fit. It makes us feel empowered and good about ourselves. But at the expense of what? What is the price do we pay for doing that? If its the case of strangers, the price we pay is, we won't get to know the person for who they are really and not the assumptions that we make. That's relatively small price to pay compared to when people judge those who are considered friends. What would the price be for that?

Its really frustrating really cause you'd expect people would know better. Queers around the world are complaining about straights discriminating queers and yet, discrimination occurs within the queer community. Such an irony.

I'm tired these days, really tired. I'm tired of so many things that I can't seem to even begin to list it down. However there is one that stands out. I'm tired of being reminded of my own imperfections by others. I have me to remind myself of the imperfections I have and I don't need others to do so. I do a pretty darn good job of it myself, thank you very much. I don't understand what my imperfections have to do with them anyways. Its not like its life threatening to them that my imperfection exists in me. I'm imperfect in so many ways. SO WHAT?!

I thought I belong in a lasting relationship with McDave but that ended. I thought I belong with friends who sees beyond my imperfection but that did not happen. So where do I belong? Once again, I am cast into the sea of life without a clue where I am.

*Aretha Franklin - R.E.S.P.E.C.T. playing in the background

-Live Long & Prosper


-Live Long & Prosper

Gay Enough For Yea?

I wasn't kidding when I said, I'm obsess with all that is PINK now did I? I feel my blog is complete with this fabulous banner courtesy of Sam. I love it so much and its so me. Its pink, its scandalous, its skanky and its got cum stains. Loads of cum stains.

As the saying goes, there's no free lunch on this earth. The price of asking Sensei Sam to make a banner and incorporate it is phenomenal. Its almost like selling my soul to the Devil. So request the banner from him at your own risk.

Meanwhile, I look forward to my payment Sensei Sam.


*skanky thoughts

*cum stains

-Live Long & Prosper



I'm so addicted to all that's pink all of a sudden. Pink this, pink that, pink EVERYTHING I tell you.

As you may or may not notice, I got meself a new avatar and big surprise, its a pink lion. Hehehhe. What I tell yea? I was out with la faghag and fag, JL in Parkson KLCC after work. La faghag was looking for a name card holder and we stumbled into the stuffed toys section. Yes I went nuts. Hehehe. Then we spotted the PINK LION. Its so cute and its so me~~~

So took several poses of the PINK LION like so.

This is PINK LION.

This is PINK LION doing the bunny.

Despite popular belief of me being the skanky one, the PINK LION doing the bunny isn't my handiwork. Shockingly, it was la faghag. I know shocking but heheh I think it funny. I don't thing a certain someone would like the thought of PINK LION doing the bunny. :P

-Live Long & Prosper

Yaoi, Boys, Action!

I'm currently watching Fafner In The Azure in the hope of seeing some yaoi actions. I know sounds lame and shallow. I can't help it I guess. Just like how I can't hold myself to stop drooling when I see a good looking guy or a twink walked past me in working attire.

So far its been five episodes but no yaoi action as of yet and I doubt there'll be any yaoi action. :P The story development is great so far and the animation is very similar to Gundam series. I'm begining to feel something is developing wit hthe two boy characters in the anime. Hmmm...

While in my Torrent download list, Neon Genesis Evangelion is being completed. Its already 90+% and I can't wait to watch that too. I'm wonder if there's any yaoi elements in this one. Hmmm...

Then there's always yaoi manga. I've been downloading it thanks to Louise for introducing it to me. Love Mode is the sweetest and fuzzy wazzy love story. There's minor sex illustration too. Heheheh. I should find more yaoi stuff.

-Live Long & Prosper

An Inconvenient Truth

Earlier after I got back from work, I sat down in front of my computer checking my blog, MythWars and bombard William with all my skankiness in GTalk. This happens everyday except the bombarding William with all my skankiness because that is subjected to his availability online. I wanted to blog something about butches in my company since someone asked about what about lesbians in the company but I didn't get around to it.

I was reading fellow queer blogger's blogs to see what was new and what was going on. The usual suspects of entries appeared. Dramas, breakthroughs in life, daily life occurrence, trying out new stuff and etc.

Then once I'm done with all that, I'll turn off my monitor, leaving MythWars to run, turn off my computer and snuggle with my stuffed toys. Yes, all four of them. Rat rat, moo moo, Sharkie and Teddy.

Come six o'clock, my alarm will ring with "Hello Goodbye - Here In Your Arms". I'll wake up, check MythWars, check my blog, then shower and all that jazz. The whole cycle repeats again. That's my routine and pretty simple, nothing fancy.

I'm rather comfortable with my routine until I watched "An Inconvenient Truth" by Al Gore, formerly the next President of the United States. Honestly, this movie is, by far, the most terrifying movie I've watch. Its more terrifying than the Alien series, IT or any Eastern Asian horror movie. The movie horrified me with what's happening to the earth as my routine keeps repeating itself day in day out. It showed me what a scary future it will be within my life time if the world keeps continuing the way it is. Emission of carbon dioxide is now threatening our very existence, the same chemical compound that keeps the earth nice and warm...

Jason asked me why do I watch such boring movie? Well why not? We've been complaining its freaking hot these days but never conscientiously wondered why. More importantly I need to know what is going on to the earth and what sort of a future I'm going to live in ain't I? One of the things he mentioned was when Greenland completely melts, the sea level worldwide will rise 20 feet. That alone will flood Manhattan Island and flood the nearly the whole of the Netherlands.

-"The maps of the world will have to be redrawn."

I don't know what to say really. I'm still stunned from the movie itself. Its definitely worth watching and see. It is not at all boring but rather a wake up call to all of us. Watch it.

Also checkout this site, Climate Crisis.

-Live Long & Prosper

Queer Probability

No I'm no math wiz or math genius or anything. I'm no where close to that really. But I remember talking about the probability of only having two fags in a company of 800+ employee. Something was telling me it doesn't add up. I tried fag hunting but couldn't find any that pinged my sonar. Alas I gave up.

Until yesterday, my sonar pinged and boy did it ping like having Queens singing, "I see a little silhouette of a man scaramouche
scaramouche will you do the fandango..." right next to me. Heheh I love this piece by Queens.

Anyways, I had to go to the IT Department cause something was really fucked up with the system. So I went downstairs to see if anyone can reset the server and get the system running again. It took awhile so I sat down looking at this guy's monitor from some distance. Then I saw his Google search. I couldn't see what he googled but I saw the first result and I trust Google's results like how I trust my blood test results for STDs. Its pretty darn accurate. It shocked me. It said, "Sunday Gay Walk" or something along that line.

Obviously the first person I bitched about this was FLS, la faghag. She didn't really believe that he could be gay but we agreed on borderline fag for this guy. Heheh. With him on board, it'll be three fags in an 800++ employee company. Hmmm.

-Live Long & Prosper

Come What May

Satine: Never knew I could feel like this
It's like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I'm loving you more and more
Listen to my heart can you hear it sing?
Come back to me and FORGIVE everything!
Seasons may change winter to spring
I Love You, til the end of time
Christian: Come what may! Come what may! Come what may! Come what may! I will Love You
Satine: I will Love You
Christian: Until my dying day!
Satine: Dying day!
Both: Come what may! Come what may!
Satine: Come what may
Both: I will Love You until my dying
Toulouse: Christian! He’s got a gun! They’re trying to kill you!
Zidler: Shut up!
Toulouse: Look, he’s got a gun!
Zidler: Guards, seize them!
The doctor: Vive le vie de Boheme!
Argentinean: No problem! Go back to work!
Toulouse: No matter what you say,
Cast: The show is ending our way. Come on and stand your ground For freedom, beauty, truth, and Love
Chorus: How wonderful life is
Satine: One day I'll fly away
Christian: My gift is my song
Chorus: The children of the revolution, No you won't fool the children of the revolution
Satine: One day I'll fly away
Christian: My gift is my song
Chorus: No you won't fool the children of the revolution. No you won't fool the children of the revolution
Chorus: Come what may
Satine and Christian: I will Love You
Chorus: Come what may
Both: Yes, I will Love You
Chorus: Come what may
Both: I will Love You
Duke: My way! My way! My way!! My way!!!
Cast: Until my dying day!

I was watching Moulin Rouge... I cried when Satine died. Not even love can keep them together... I cried and cried and cried.

-Live Long & Prosper

Glue? Soldering? Welding?

As everyone knows by now, McDave and I parted ways.

So how does one mend a broken heart? Do you glue it? Do you solder it like pieces of electronics into a circuit board? Or perhaps something stronger like welding two pieces of iron together? I don't suppose the great Doc Paul can suture my heart back.

Whatever the method is, the heart will eventually break again. No matter how often its reinforced and mended, it will break...

Question is, do I really want it to break again?

And of course not forgetting, another year for me that I will have to celebrate my birthday without a loved one. I'm assuming that I am celebrating it in the first place.

Guess it doesn't matter really since I don't really celebrate it anyways all these years eh...

-Live Long & Prosper

6 Weird Things

I know this meme was long long long ago tagged by SotongZai. I do apologize. Ok lets get to it.

1. I love wearing tight briefs/thongs/g-strings but at the same time I love wearing loose boxers when I'm home. Guess I just love underwear. :P

2. I used to be a picky eater but not anymore. I'm like a garbage can now a days. *chomp chomp chomp

3. I had straight hair until puberty hit... Dem annoyed with those hormones now...

4. I'm going to be 22 and yet I still play with stuffed toys. Now THAT'S weird. :P Can't help it. I just love them soo much.

5. If you notice, all the timing for my posts are divisible to five minutes. I don't know why but I seem to like them like that.

6. You know the 3G service that Maxis is providing, the Mobile TV. Guess which channel I subscribed to? Cartoon Networks~~~ :P Tell me if that's not weird eh.

-Live Long & Prosper