Pussies Are Fattening

Yes its true boys and girls. Pussies are fattening I tell you! This epiphany came to me yesterday while having lunch with La Faghag, Slender Faghag and roommie. In fact it came earlier last month while chatting with Alex but the full extent realisation happened yesterday.

I realised that all the good looking seniors that have graduated and anchored attached to a parasite girl, all have put on weight! Such a waste. Not only they are straight and fancies girls, they've lost their physical appeal. Oh this saddens me.

What is it about pussies that makes them put on weight I wonder...

Oh Josh. My hawt Josh.

It is very common amongst married men. They're really hawt when they're single and when they're married, they're no longer hawt...

Since Josh Duhamel is dating Fergie, I hope he keeps staying hawt.

Very sad...

I shall mourn for the losses of good looking guys.

I must save them from this terrible and horrible fate.

But how?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

12 comments:

mstpbound said...

beh, you know how straight guys are. they're like a candle lighted at both ends. beer + girls = fat straight ugly guy, ugh. now us gays...we're fabulous till the end of time.... :)

William said...

Undoubtedly, vaginas and breasts have a higher fat content, unlike high-protein cocks and jizz.... but I guess it's the age....

ikanbilis said...

today, we shall wear all black and mourn for the loss..

chase / chubz said...

they tend to become very lazy.. that's why they fat.
its really a heartbreaker seeing them hot guys turning fat. hehe

Ohkulala said...

does anyone has anything to say about cocks? we need to come up with a theory on that too now that we have covered pussies. hehe

Jason said...

Maybe cos when attached, girls tend to pamper the guy more so they became lazy and slowly become fat.

Queer Ranter said...

MSTP: Yes we will. Fabulous to the end of time!

William: You said it sista! :P

Ikanbilis: *sob sob

*mourn mourn

Chase: Yep yep. Tis is sad. :(

Ohkulala: I'll leave that discovery to you then. :P

Jason: Girls are the new devil! Eeeeeks. :P

Shira-chan said...

lolz How not to get fat?

When guys have girlfriends, they go out on dates.

And what do people do on dates?

Inevitably, they end up eating.

And because they're with their significant other, and they want to make it special, "ordinary" food won't do. Nope, must be something pricey, and yummy... and fattening!

Then, after makan, sure must want to watch movie.

movie = popcorn = more fat

Also, people in relationships have less time to exercise, go jogging, hit the gym. They must forever wait by the phone in case their honey needs them.

Hence, people in relationships get fatter.

True or not?? Haha.

quicksilverlining said...

yah. and when boys go on dates, they have sex.

sex = exercise.

woot.

Queer Ranter said...

Shira: SO True! :P

Quicksilverlining: Boy I'd kill to go on a date with you.

*grin

cleo weiland said...

The only weight gain I see is from me pigging out on seafood to compensate for dreary work schedules. "I'm pampering myself, I deserve it," I lie to myself.

Generally speaking, I think men put on weight after the relationship because they don't care anymore. The girlfriend is supposed to love him no matter how fat or how ugly he turns out to be. A far cry from those washboard abs she used to love..and lick.

Which reminds me. No wonder married people don't have sex. LOL

Queer Ranter said...

Cleo: *gasp!

A sexless marriage?! Eeeeeeeeks. Horror!