The Year That Was 2008

2008 was quite a year and it went by in a blink of an eye. I dare to say that 2008 is the year that I started to grow up. My life as a student ended upon my graduation and the road to adulthood, career, taxes, paychecks and bills opened up to me. It's a good trade off for me. Sure there's less responsibilities and more time to myself when I was a student but there's just so much more as an adult.

You win some you lose some, that's how it is.

Getting a job means I have to move to where the job is and that is Sarawak. Living by my own and being independent is not foreign to me. Been doing that since young so moving from West Malaysia to East Malaysia was almost a seamless transition. Sure I miss KL, my friends and all but a man got to do what a man got to do.

Then of course, there's my breakup with McDave, second and final breakup. As painful as the experience was, it was necessary for me to learn about myself and relationship. No better teacher than pain and experience. We're still friends and that's the best result I can hope for in a breakup.

As 2008 was about to end, I met an amazing guy in our annual Christmas party hosted by none other than Dr. Paul. We hit it off in less than 48 hours, that gave a whole new meaning to living on the fast lane. Never have I had such affair happened to me before. Seriously, less than 48 hours. We'll see where things lead and take it easy and slow. However, lots of drama went along with my encounter. Rocked the boat quite violently more like it.

What a year 2008 was and went with a bang it did. I'm looking forward what 2009 brings.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

25th December 2008

Two open houses, several shots of alcohol (Smirnoff, Tuak and Gin) and few hours of housekeeping later, I'm now in the airport waiting for my flight back to KL. Curse AirAsia counter rejected my check in after half an hour of queuing in line. "I'm sorry, we can only check you in in forty minutes time." says the woman while smiling. I hate it when they smile cause I can't verbally abuse them for making me wait longer.

So here I am, eating my club sandwich and a big mug of hot hazelnut chocolate. I'm a victim to Starbucks... Did I ever mentioned how nice and friendly the people in Starbucks are?! Just a moment ago, the person who took my orders stood next to where I'm sitting and had a decent long chat. Gosh no wonder I love coming to this place. Coffee Beans on the other hand seriously needs some sort of customer service boot camp. Desperately in need of that...

Anyhows, enough about Starbucks and the retarded-uncongenial-customer-service that is Coffee Beans.

Back to the open houses that I went for during the day. Never did go for open houses for Christmas before this. But going with three Muslim friends, there's a price to pay. People here drink a lot. Like really DRINK a lot! Alcohol is cheap here because of the alcohol smuggling. So since they can't drink, I have to drink on their behalf... It was afternoon and I was struggling to keep my mind thinking straight. I am not going to be known as "The Drunken Stupor Boy" on top of my "Pretty Boy" tittle.

It was a good Christmas I say despite being drunk in the afternoon. I am never drinking in the afternoon. It's just weird being hammered while the sun is still up.

How was your Christmas?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Five

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, Five Golden Ring~~~ Four Calling Birds, Three French Hens, Two Turtle Doves and A partridge in a pear tree. Alright, it's not anywhere near Christmas but it's Christmas "T Minus One" Day. Good enough to start singing Christmas Carols.

But the disturbing fact is, malls have started selling Chinese New Year decorative and playing Chinese New Year songs. Christmas isn't even here yet and they just shove it aside? Poor Christmas. No matter, I'm flying back to KL tomorrow night arriving 10 minutes before Christmas ends. Sad I know but at least I'm back.

Christmas equates to parties and parties equates vices, lots of vices. As much as I would dearly love to share with my readers all my vices so that they can take full advantage of me, I'm just going to share five.

Uno: Stuffed Toys

Not just any stuffed toys. They must be absolutely adorable in my eyes and furs that won't fall. Fallen furs make me sneeze. A lot...

Dos: Underwear

Never seem to have enough of them to the point of I'm spoilt with options. Every morning will be spent matching underwear with outfit.

Tres: Electrical Gadgets

Any electronic gadgets that's portable, multi purpose and chic. Hence the emotional need for a SE Xperia.

Cuatro: Internet

The Internet is for porn. The Internet is for porn. Yes the Internet is for porn. Well maybe just a little or a lot depending on how you look at my Internet surfing behavior. Whatever the use, deviant or otherwise, I can't live without it. It's my life line.

Cinco: Youthful Looking Guys

Most of you may have noticed my preference in youthful looking guys say Lee Hom or some of the bloggers here itself (you know who you are). It's youthful looking guys and not younger guys. Age is not much of a factor just how a person looks. But of course this is purely for the pleasure viewing purposes.

So there, my five vices.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Drill Sergeant Turned Blonde

I have to start my post with a little character sketch of my mentor at work. She's a person who's straight to the point, do this do that and I want it done yesterday. She doesn't greet like every other people in the office does instead she says "What are you doing? Why are you idle?". Keeping to the tradition of their company, slave drive your employee for every drip of their worth. The equivalent of Emperor Shi Huang Ti building the Great Wall of China.

Well that was few months ago, things are rather different now. It's no secret that she's dating someone. In fact, it's a public knowledge and constant discussions of who this mystery guy is. Whoever he is, we are indebted to him. Work is less Spartan military like and she seems happier, less shuddery (not that I was ever intimidated by her to begin with). Rather she's become more warm and friendly. A laughter from her was like the search for immortality but these days it's a common sound.

She is highly knowledgeable in the oil and gas field and has memory like an elephant. Instant absorption and locked tight in her mind. I wish I have her capabilities. It'd make my work so much easier not having to dig up for references... Ask her anything and she can answer (though most of the time she makes us dig for the answer ourselves...). Basically, she knows her theoretical stuff inside out.

First it was the noticeable laughter from her, her friendliness and warmth. It was hard to believe at first but people change don't they? So we let it be and embrace the new her. Then an unforeseen, out of the blue thing occurred. Life sure does have it's puckish sense of humour.

She pulled a "I'm blonde" stunt.

She and my supervisor were having a lengthy discussion. At one point she got all confused and just blurted, "I'm sorry, you have to speak to me slowly. I'm blonde.". 

If that's not a 180 degree flip, I don't know what is.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Balls Balls Balls

Glutinous rice balls that is in conjunction to the Winter Solstice celebration. I've always been a fan of tang yuan (汤圆). So simple yet so delicious and comforting to eat. Good balance of the sugary sweet and spicy ginger in the soup compliments the plain taste of the glutinous rice balls.

My family isn't one of those that practises Chinese celebration such as this so it came to me as a shocked when my housemates made tang yuan yesterday. I didn't know it was yesterday specifically and I've never made them before too. Never knew it was so simple to make and well it was fun. I can see how it can bring the whole family together. Sit around the table, chatting while rolling up the glutinous rice balls.

Little white and pink balls of joy.

My housemates invited some of their friends over to make and eat tang yuan. It was a nice small gathering. Lots of laughter and story telling. It brings warmth and joy to this house that we rent. As much as I love my peacefulness and serenity, it doesn't hurt to have some racket to liven things up a little. I'm not that antisocial when I'm at home.

Happy Winter Solstice everyone.

And guess what, Chinese New Year is only a month away. 

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Starbuck Junkie

Never thought I'd see the day but I've turned into one of those Starbucks junkie... Yes there is one Starbucks in Miri. Make that two, one in the city and one in the airport. It has suddenly become my favourite place to be. The seat by the window is just fabulous. I can sit there for hours with my laptop surfing away and sipping a Venti Dark Cherry Mocha Frappuccino.

I don't so much love their drinks but I love their merchandise! I went crazy with their 10th Anniversary merchandise, 2009 Planner/Diary and a Venti sized Starbucks Tumbler. I've got the both of them too. I absolutely adore the Planner/Diary. It's so pretty. Leather bound and the paper is lovely. I can't bring myself to write on it especially with my hideous handwriting...

Signs of an addict, Starbucks Merchandise...

I spent the whole of Saturday studying and half of it was in Starbucks. Towards the afternoon, my room was too hot to be conducive for studying and I needed to pick up my Starbucks Tumbler anyways. Why not enjoy the aircon there, to be seen and people watch while studying (chatting, surfing, blogging) eh?

Disappointingly, there was only one eye candy spotted. Sad... At least he's got a real cute bubble butt! One curious thing that I saw was camo mini skirts... Two girls came into Starbucks wearing those. Thank goodness they we're trying to pull a "harujuku" look or I might just scream. I don't like "harujuku" girls... There was a boy, very good complexion and fair but unfortunately dyed his hair blond. That kinda ruined everything about him. Why do they do that to themselves?

Other than that, I managed to cover quite a lot of my study material.

Window side view.

Sitting by the window is really nice. There's something about looking passersby that's calming to me. But something unexpected happened when I was looking out at one of them. A girl in the car smiled and waved at me while I was sipping my drink. I was unsure if it was to me or to someone behind me that she was waving. I just smiled and waved back anyways.

It was a good day for me.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Tis The Season To Be Gay

Some of you may have seen it, some of you may have not. Either one, it's a great video to watch especially the upcoming celebration Christmas~~~ I certainly can't stop watching and giggling along the way.

Merry Christmas~~~

Gosh the guy in black tank top and the guy with scarf and hood are so adorable!

With just five more days to go, I can't wait to get on a plane and head on home! That's right boys and boys, QR is going to paint the city of KL pink once more. Market Place, here I come!

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

What's In The Yellow Box?

Offshore is all about the bold, bright and neon colour coding for good safety reasons. It's easier for rescue choppers or planes to spot something in middle of deep blue ocean that is searing bright such as yellow. Hence why platforms are painted brightly.

Conditions offshore can be quite severe although I'll admit not as extreme like the North Sea but still winds go up to 40 nautical knots per hour (73 km/hr) or faster. Weather change pretty drastically in an instant. I barely walk straight these winds. So equipments kept solid steel boxes like these.

Hard, strong and sturdy box.

But this box is not used to keep equipments. It has a more sinister purpose, pollute the sea. Yes it pollutes the sea with biological wastes. Sure, biological is biodegradable but it's still pollution. As much as we try to prevent pollution from crude spillage, this is unavoidable. This is why.

A hole!?

This box is the offshore version of a toilet. It's just you, the wind and the deep blue sea down below. Oh and not forgetting schools of fishes happily swimming and feeding on these biological wastes. It's not mystery why they're all so huge and fresh out in the sea. They're all well fed.

Of course this is not the same facility on a living quarters platform. Proper toilet and good living condition there unlike production platforms such as these. For what it's worth to those who ate fish for dinner last night, I never take a dump in these boxes. I make sure I'm good before leaving the living quarters. 

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

It's A Hard Knock Life

The next time you guys fill your petrol tanks in a petrol station, remember the sacrifices the people in the oil and gas industry make to give the general public fuel.


You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Bring Your Readers To Work Day!

Fact one. I work in the oil and gas industry. Fact two. I'm highly desirable when I'm in a company of men in the middle of the sea. Fact three. I'm just bloody gorgeous. Ok fine, fact two and fact three are just wishful thinking (though is it so bad for it to be true?).

I've been talking about my trips offshore and things happening in the middle of the sea but no photo to speak of to show all my readers. Well the other place of work besides the office. The office is boring and nothing interesting to see unlike the offshore platform.

To those who've been wondering what it looks like, this is it.


This is one of the three installations offshore. Pretty cool huh? Unfortunately, there's no scale to compare it with but it's not big neither is it small. If you can squint your eyes on one of the bridges and you'll see a white box. That white box is your normal 15 footer container. So just imagine a little how big or small it is.

On the left is what we call a drilling platform. See the bundle of pipes rising upwards to the platform? Those come from many thousands feet underneath the seabed. Then the middle module is where the pumps are to pump the crude to other facilities and shore. Then the right module houses compressors and separators.

Sure is awesome working in an installation such as this. I actually love coming offshore. Lots of things to learn, people are nice, free workout (see how much stairs I have to climb?!) and food is free (though not that good but it'll do)! There's on exception to this seemingly perfect workplace. My skin gets ravaged by the elements!

UV rays~~~ Go away~~~

I'm in such desperate need for Biotherm... Or Lab Series...

Sponsors anyone? Please?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

I Was Not Made To Study

Ever since my uni days, I noticed something. Studying makes me hungry! So hungry it's fungry (farking hungry) almost borderline I'm-going-to-die starvation. It's annoying because every half an hour or so, starvation kicks in and a growling symphony is projected from my stomach...

How am I suppose to finish 350++ worth of materials on time?!

At least I have two cartons of low fat milk I nicked off from offshore to quiet my stomach down. Though I only discovered I had those milk after munching on quarter of my favourite Julie's Peanutbutter Biscuits...

Eeeeeeeeee fats~~~ Go away~~~

I really don't know how those bookworms study from dawn to dusk. Don't they get hungry like me too? And where did they get their attention span tweaked to focus for hours on end! I can't help but look into my blog or Facebook every five seconds!

Help~~~

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Obsession With Bananas

There's many "firsts" in this blog. One of them is the unforgettable sexcapade trilogy posts that I wrote long time ago. And recently, I put up photos of me on this blog too but as I started working, I took them down. I'm in the wrong "cuntry" to be freely queer. As they say, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do".

This will be my first angry post. I'm a very docile and tolerant person but there are two things that will just make me snap and hell has no fury like Queer Ranter's scorn, queer men in denial starts a family while the other is the word "banana". I'll be ranting about the latter.

Banana. Such a good source of nutrient and energy (good for other uses, mainly in the DIY department) turned into an annoyance whenever I hear it. Banana is a euphemism for Chinese people who either can't speak, read, write or all of the above. How did they come up with such fabulously degrading term? Chinese are naturally born with a tinge of yellow. So like a banana, yellow on the outside and white on the inside. White refers to Western upbringing.

I always get this "banana" whenever I meet "Chinese Educated" people and honestly, it's getting into my nerves. I'm really not bothered about this "banana" crap but there's always a limit to everything.

I've gotten statements such as these:

Statement 1: Ah?! You're don't know how to read and write Chinese? Such a shame to the Chinese race.

Statement 2: Oh don't speak to me in Mandarin. Your Mandarin is appalling. I've scored 'A' for my Mandarin in STPM you know. Better stick to English.

When I first heard Statement 1, I was shocked. These people still exists?! So what if I can't read and write Mandarin? I manage to survive with my English and basic Mandarin. There's no fatal need for me to master Mandarin in my field of work either. Everything is still following American Standards and it's not going to change to Chinese Standards and only printed in Mandarin. As to shame, I wonder who is ashamed of who. She of me for my inability to read and write Mandarin or myself for being Chinese and related to insensitive and racist person like her.

Statement 2 was even more of a shocker to me purely because it came from a person I know. I am deeply disappointed in her and I hold a grudge on that incident. Hence, I've been consciously keeping a distant from her and I'll just leave it as that until I'm ready to tell her about. I am at the moment comfortable having the grudge as company. Misery loves company after all.

What is so great about being able to speak, read and write Mandarin? Why is there a need to emphasise and ostracise me for my inability to master Mandarin? What's with the I-Know-Mandarin-And-You-Don't pride? Rather childish really. Never for once did I ever pick on them for their atrocious command in English. Instead I offer my assistance.

I don't give a rat's ass if you master Mandarin or master any other language cause it's got no business with me. You know it, good for you but don't expect me to give you a golden star when you brag about it and belittle me. Like I said, I don't give a rat's ass about it.

Lemme say this ONCE. It is extremely rude to ask anyone if they're a "banana". It's like asking an orphan "do you have parents?". Does it matter if the person you meet is a "banana"?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Paintball or Painball?

All of us have some sort of sadomasochism tendencies deep down inside. I'll admit, I do like to spice it up a little when it comes to rampant bed activities, just a little. I'm rather kinky when it comes to these things but I'm sure you guys already know that. No harm so long as both parties are having a good time and be safe.

That aside, I've found paintball to be the perfect outlet (outside of the bedroom) for my inner-sadomasochism-self. Paintball! Though it should be called painball cause it hurts like a bitch when you get shot at from a distant and at 10 feet or less, a shot on naked skin will cause minor bleeding... The pallet (bullets) flies through the atmosphere at an average velocity of 250 ft/sec. That translates to major pain.

Despite having participated in paintball previously, I still got shot, got shot many times and I have the bruises as evidence!

Left arm casualty.

Right arm casualty.

Hurts like a bitch! Urgh.

I find a part of the pre-match briefing hilarious yet disturbing.

The Marshal said, "Now when you get shot, raise your hand, shout "OUT" and walk to the trees. Even when you have surrendered, your friends will keep barraging you with pallets until he realises that you have surrendered. So be patient. Enjoy the game and enjoy the pain.".

Barrage of pallets did come my way several times... I did manage to pull off dodging bullets ala The Matrix but not when there's several people shooting at me. Instead you had me screaming, "Ouch my arm! Arrrgh my other arm. Wei my tits! Hey, I surrender! Dem it that was my BUTT!".

But all is fair when it comes to paintball. I did get several people but I feel for one of my victim. Shot him straight on his chest and leaving a bruise next to his heart. Unfortunate for him, his vest failed him and the pallet contacted on his naked skin. No pain no glory right?

I think I'm fast becoming a fan of paintball but I don't have the funds for it at the moment. Gonna get myself SE Xperia first then I shall consider joining the local paintball club.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Don't Be Silly, These Too

I have been Emily Charlton-ed (think The Devil Wears Prada) by my supervisor at work. I was given materials related to my training to learn. I don't mind studying. In fact I welcome it. There's just so many things that I need to learn and best start with the fundamentals since I've been exposed to practicals and field work. Learning never ceases.

The first hint of her pulling of an Emily Charlton was Saturday. I should have known judging from the emails she sent to all of us in the team on a Saturday morning. Gosh this woman is not human. Bionic would be an understatement and robotic just doesn't cut it. Who sends email on a Saturday morning?! But silly me, I replied to her emails. I was up and felt obligated.

We were discussing about the materials for me to learn. So come this week, I was handed those materials. Then she said, "We'll have a test next week. Finish studying the ROLL (I have no idea what this stands for...) modules.". I agreed to it, well I doubt that was negotiable. Gosh I barely started and she's already talking about testing me...

Little did I realise the gravity of the situation. I mean, how hard is it to study for it and take the test? I've been doing it for 17 years and I did alright. So I asked my friend what's this ROLL is all about. Fundamentals this, basics that and principles whatever. Hmmm, seems alright. Then I popped the million dollar question, "How much of material is it?". 7 modules with an average of 50 pages per module...

Such an Emily-Andrea scene:

Emily: Right, these are all of the guests. Miranda invites everyone and we have to make sure they all think that she knows exactly who they are and I've been studying for weeks.

Andrea: I have to learn all these by tonight?

Emily: Now don't be silly Andrea, these too.

I'm screwed!

Does she think I have nothing else to do but study?! Gosh there goes my weekend! Guess that's why they're good at what they do. I shall persevere cause daddy needs a SonyEricsson Xperia!

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Say My Name

I'm a big believer in the power of names even more so when it comes to Chinese names. If you're a skeptic, try calling a person idiot instead of addressing his name. With enough time, he'll most probably believe he's an idiot. This is why we have so many low morale, low self esteemed and suicidal people. The power of names is not something to be discredited though of course that's not the sole reason why. Take it, like everything else with a pinch of salt.

Back to names, I really like my name both English (many people confuse this with Christian name and think I'm a Christian...) and Chinese name. I believe my straightforwardness in my manner and speech is credited to my English name. Ask any one of my friends about it and they'll agree, I hope. Straightforwardness does come with a price. I tend to say things other people wouldn't say. Not in a mean way but in a strange way like talking about nocturnal emissions to random guy that I just met.

Yea go figure.

My Chinese name translates to pride of the family. Well I'm not sure if I'm pride-of-the-family material but I sure have Queer Pride in me with loads to share. Hehehhe. Neither am I much of a family guy at the moment either. Perhaps when I settle down with someone I will.

Maybe my belief in the influence of name made me all fascinated to know the full name of everyone I meet. Gives me a peek into the person's character.

What does your name say about you?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Festive Mood

Tis the season to be jolly and marry and gay. I'm ecstatic that I'm going back to KL on Christmas day. Albeit arriving in LCCT just 10 minutes before 26th midnight (the things I do for cheap flights), I'm still I'm happy about heading back to civilization. Initially I didn't plan on coming back. Was thinking I'll just wait till February.

Then I started thinking about the clubbing. KL will literally be deserted and that translates to no crowd in clubs. I can't have no crowd in clubs! Better club for Christmas and New Year when the crowd is at it's most crowded. So I took my leave from my many days of unrecorded leaves (it is estimated to be 14 days) and bought my flight ticket.

Things to do when I get back. Meet up with friends of course! Shop till I drop. I'm have a need to shop for chic office wear. I'm thinking of hunting for a pair of nice sunnies too. Clubbing all night long! Have good food, I'm deprived of good food here.

With only 15 days till departure, how do I concentrate on my work? It's not helping that half the office is empty and it's bloody freezing as well. I can't help but daydream about my trip to KL. Space out into twilight with the thoughts of shopping.

P.S. My office computer is acting all weird. Turning itself on and off... Annoying...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Why Don't You Call?

I get this question quite often. Why don't you call? It's not that I deliberately avoid contact with my fellow friends, it's just how I am. I'm accustomed in being alone, doing my own things and get wrapped up in my own world. More often than not, I'm preoccupied with my day to day activities that I don't really think of anything else.

As cold as it sounds, it's not intentional. I don't knowingly ignore my friends or any of the sort. When the time comes to give my friends a buzz I'll just do it. However, it's virtually impossible for me to give everyone in my contacts a buzz. Whether I call or do not call doesn't mean anything. My friends are still my friends. Sooner or later, I'll ask my friends out or buzz them.

Plus, why does it have to be me who's doing the contacting only?

Whenever I get home, I tend to keep to myself in my room and not talk much. I enjoy the quietness and collect my thoughts. Just enjoy the serenity. Hence part of the reason why I don't call often too. However, that doesn't mean I'll mind my friends calling when I'm home. I enjoy a good conversation like everyone else. I do try and chat up with all my friends online in MSN or GTalk. It's easier since I can multitask and it's free too!

So don't be dishearten if I've not contacted you for some time. I'm not avoiding you. It's just how things are with me.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

iShove

I've been dying to own an iPhone 3G ever since it was released on 11 July 2008. I was willing to wait for it to come to Malaysian shores no matter how long it takes. But slowly, the iFanatic in me faded away. It started with Samsung Omnia and Samsung i8510 Innov8. They're lightyears ahead of iPhone in terms of functionality but I still kept my loyalty to iPhone. One it's Samsung. I'm no fan of Samsung phones. Two it's just not as pretty as an iPhone. So they got crossed in my list.

Then today while I was in the office, daydreaming and unfocused even though I had work to do, something abruptly interrupted my train of daydreaming thoughts of going back to KL. A mirage appeared in front of me. A poster ad of a handphone. Something that starts with 'X' and ends with 'ria'. SonyEricsson Xperia! I halted my work and went to Google it.

Lo and behold, I found my very own iKiller the SonyEricsson Xperia or also known as X1.

Xperia is Xtrodinary!

It's pretty, packed full with amazing functionality, 3 inch touchscreen (the sole reason why I like the iPhone to begin with), QWERTY keyboard, GPS navigation, WIFI enabled, 3.2 mega Pixel camera and more.

Ever since I got my first SE phone, K800i, I can't go back to Nokia or even think about changing to other phones. I love the SE interface, it's intuitive and user friendly. I do hope it's the same for the Xperia.

However, the estimated price in Malaysia, a hefty RM 3000. That's like buying myself a new laptop! I really need to test drive this phone if I'm buying it. RM 3000 isn't spare change for me. The phone better be expecting my expectations for RM 3000.

So off to reading reviews I go. I have an emotional need for a new phone with touchscreen.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Enough!

There's a big difference living offshore and living onshore. It's not offshore being middle of nowhere cause this city doesn't have much it might as well be in the middle of nowhere. It's the not-having-to-think-what-to-eat when I get back to the living quarters after a long, hard, sweaty day of work (and the laundry service is awesome too!). Even though the food isn't all that great and they tend to taste the same after awhile, it's something to eat. Not to mention, the fridge is always stocked with fruit juices and milk. Milk is bloody expensive here...

After two days of being onshore, I've had enough of thinking what to eat. Having five singles staying in a house, the fridge is rather empty and thinking where to eat out is such a chore. So I decided to make my favourite comfort food, Tuna Pasta Salad. Been ages since I cooked something and I miss cooking terribly!

So here's what you need.


I missed out the eggs.

It's really simple to do it. So simple in fact, I don't think it is considered as cooking. Boil the eggs and pasta. Dice the capsicum, celery and onion. Finely chop the garlic. Drain the corn, pea and tuna of their water and put everything into a mixing bowl. Add enough mayonaise to make it creamy. Add in some salt, pepper and dry Thyme. Mash the eggs once it is hard boiled and add it in. Mix them well and add in the pasta. Mix them again. Leave it in the fridge to chill. Some cheese would be awesome too.

Then tadaa. Ready to eat.


My lovely comfort food in a mug.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Bells Are Ringing

I love church bells. I would love to hear them for real like standing in front of a cathedral. Instead, I live in a country that has loudspeakers echoing signalling it's time for prayers five times a day. Anyhow, back to church bells. Everything about church bells has an allure of grandure and majestic. Just imagine when all of them ring in rhythm.

They sound like this.


Now imagine those bells ringing but it's ringing in your head. Well that's how I felt after my nap this afternoon. Endless ringing, throbbing and pounding in my head. This is why I try to avoid sleeping in the afternoon. Even power naps will give me a splitting headache. Worse still, I'll feel lethargic after the naps like how I'm feeling now.

I'm gonna make myself a drink. Ribena and Raspberry Vodka.

More Ribena or more Vodka?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Please Clean Up After...

It is always a good idea if not good manners to clean up after whatever you were doing. Especially crucial after both party has achieved orgasm and ejaculated. Cum stains are not good to soft and fluffy comforters. You'll have spots of hard cotton and somewhat yellowish stain. There goes your many thousands of thread count sheets and comforters. Not good. But I'm sure you all know that already. So no need for me to elaborate more.

Just as crucial and important to clean up after is surfing a net on a public computer. See what I found on this computer by simply clicking CTRL+V.

陳冠希bobo陳文媛影片流出e dison chen sexy video porn xxx

Yep, I kid you not. Imagine what else I would find if I searched through the history? Though I'll be thrilled if someone typed Fridae or Gay.com. I'll have the Spanish Inquisitors revived to hunt the guy down. Then again, there's not many who's my age or remotely close to my spectrum of guys... Still I would be curious to know.

Another discovery that I found was a hidden stash of porn in one of the drawers in the office here offshore and in one of the computer. Men at sea...

So whatever you do, do clean up after. It's good housekeeping practice.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Weird Men At Sea

Boys and boys. Think back to the time when you were a small boy. Young, innocent and uncorrupted by the world. Everything is all pretty and fluffy. Back to the time when you thought the penis is just for peeing. Remember what the boys used to do? I remember the boys in my school (especially primary school, an all boys school), they like to run around and grab each other's crotch. It is a game which the purposes or objectives are still a mystery to me but everyone was doing it.

I thought this "crotch grabbing" game was long gone along with my innocence. Then it suddenly resurfaced here, offshore! I was walking down the stairs with a guy in front of me and another guy walking up the stairs and there it happened. The guy walking up just extended his hands to crotch level of the guy in front of me. Though I don't recall the guy in front of me did anything. Not so much as a flinch but just walk on. I am certain the two aren't queer. So I guess the only other explanation is, they're all used to it?

Very puzzling... And it happened again with another guy. His hands are literally everywhere including my butt and back and hands (dejavu of the Pinoy marines?) and other guy's crotch. I'm sure my crotch is the only one that he hasn't felt or has it... It's nothing sexual I assure you but just that his hands are everywhere.

Still, I don't get what this "crotch grabbing" fascination or obsession. It's not like two jocks slapping each other's ass (I find this puzzling too) after a score. This was literally the "crotch grabbing" game from my childhood! Mind you, these people are all veterans as in average age of 40. They say old habits die hard and this is the proof of it.

Should I start wearing an Everlast chastity belt?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Men At Sea

Imagine and twist however you want to but this post has no relation to the famous porn Men At Play. I'm talking about the men at sea that I'm working with and have met in ships and platforms. And there's lots of them. It's expected really considering that it's 99.9999% men.

Remember I was talking about the Pinoy marine guys awhile back? Well there was more to just flirting. I think they were trying to figure out if I was queer by asking me a series of direct (more like bull heading) questions.

Have you had sex?

How many times?

Was it a boy or a girl?

Do you have a girlfriend?

Do you not like girls?

Of course I didn't tell them the truth. Just lie my way out of it. I was shocked that they asked me those questions so directly. It had to happen when I was enjoying a beautiful sun set. Lovely orange sun setting on the horizon and clear blue sky above it.

Then the next trip offshore, I checked into another ship that was around. Loads of activities going on in my oil field hence the ships. This time it was the cafeteria dude. I give smiles to virtually everyone I see on board the ship. I think it's just plain good manners to do so. Generally they smile back but this cafeteria dude went a step further. Winks. He gave me winks whenever he sees me. Winks! Disturbed as I may felt, I kept smiling.

Maybe I'm too nice...

Just as I thought these "Men At Sea" encounters were over, the technicians, it seems have been talking about me. And what were they talking about? The new technicians were trying to figure out who am I and they came out with "The Pretty Boy" to describe me.

Me? Pretty? Hmmm... Of all things. Pretty.

Perhaps it was the facial that I had before going offshore. Yes I know, what a waste of facial but I didn't know I was heading offshore so soon... I so need to do facial when I get back to shore. My pores are all clogged! AGAIN!

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Bounty Of The Sea

Day ten of me being offshore and guess what excitement happened besides bumming around since there's totally nothing to do due to some technical problems. Food! Not just any food but food straight from the sea. Delicious, free and fresh. A flogger's wet dream.

It's a freaking huge ass lobster!

Yummy!

I have never seen such huge lobster in my life, let alone a live one. Never knew they are this colourful. Just look at the colour. So vibrant and bright. Looks like a spider. A very delicious spider. Hehehehe.

The guys decided to boil it and eat it just like that. Nothing fancy. We don't have a top notch kitchen on the platform you see. Just plain old dip the lobster into boiling hot water and eat. And boy, it was the best lobster ever! Extremely sweet and bursting with flavour. Just divine.

I've seen many sorts of fishes around the platform and they are huge and yummy! Turtles too. They stay around the platform for food and shelter. I've yet to see dolphins. There are somewhere apparently. It's almost like I work in Aquaria with all these marine animals.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter