Bulimic Thief

I pity Slender Faghag. She's been loosing her food supply mainly her dairy product to a thief recently. She's not the only one who's food went missing from the fridge. Even apartments adjacent to them also lost some sort of food.

She and her house mates have a suspect of who the thief might be. A junior girl, an excellent student it seems but was suspended before for stealing food last year. She was caught red handed stealing things from her previous house mates. Small small things that she fancies and she'll take.

So one year later after suspension, she's back and she's the house mate of Slender Faghag. I know its mean to say, "She's done it once, she can do it again" but it is too much of a coincidence that things goes missing at specific hours of the day. It is definitely not the cleaners and everyone except her complained something went missing.

This time, she is selective of what food she'll consume. She only likes chocolate milk by Fernleaf, cheese by Kraft and other selected brands of consumables. She even leaves the evidence behind in plain sight. Slender Faghag found her emptied carton of chocolate milk and a bottle of yogurt drink that was just left on the table to spoil. Not to mention the sudden appearance of cartons upon cartons of empty drinks that didn't belong to the house. Where did they come from?

Here's the ironic bit. She's bulimic. Skinny as a twig but she loves eating. So she'll steal the food and eat em then vomit them out later... Talk about wasting food...

Something tells me this girl got mental issues.

At the moment Slender Faghag is giving whoever the thief is a chance to come clean and get the thief to replace the stolen food. If not, she's going to the Hostel Managements.

If I were her, food poisoning is in order to bait the thief out.

Ok fine, not poison, just laxatives.

-Live Long & Prosper

13 comments:

-C said...

I agree with option b. Theft is theft, no matter how small. Whoever it is deserves what they get. Empty a whole bottle into it. Get her suspended again.


mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaha

Qi_Hua said...

It's Cheesedale cheese, not Kraft. :(

Brian Chang said...

Like me Give them laxatives, and big dose, they be screaming like whinies

Queer Ranter said...

C: Someone let out the evil twin. :P

Qi Hua: Processed cheese is still processed cheese la. :P

Brian: Hahahahha. Whinies. :P

Nicholas said...

sif laxatives. If you wanna truely be evil, you spike it with birth control pills.

Imagine the enduring mindfuck when each day ticks by and her good aunt fails to visit.

(Seriously tho, i'm kidding. Thats way too much psychological truma.)

-C said...

Birth control pills don't have the desired effect; i.e. making it obviously who it is.

Though it is a _fantastic_ idea.

Queer Ranter said...

Nicholas: Wkakakakaka. You're bitchier than me. You're bitchier than Mariah Carey come to think of it. Sure you're not gay?

Is your brother still off limits? :P

C: Gotta love our friend Nick eh. :P

Inaesb said...

I'm thinking along the lines of hydrochloric acid or pesticide. But then again, I think arsenic would be best. Or perhaps ricin. Yea, those would do the trick. :) Immediate effects.

For a cheaper alternative, try putting some staples or pins inside the milk and glazing the cheese with superglue (the transparent one). That should do the trick.

Can't wait to hear about the effects. :)

Queer Ranter said...

Inaesb: A bit the violent right... :P

Ryan said...

Stealing food?! Is she so poor?

In that case, I would normally wait till everybody gets home and scream out loud: "Fuck! Who is the fucking fucker fucking steal my milk!"

Sorry! That's me when someone gets to my nerve!

conan_cat said...

oh my... girls with bulimia freaks me off. one of my ex-classmate is that too... she's kinda fat tho, and yeah she eats then vomits it out... scary. but at least she doesn't steal things to eat... go buy herself lar... maybe she had a fetish to steal things and eat them too... lol

Queer Ranter said...

Ryan: I doubt so. I think its mental...

Conan: Such a waste of food huh...

Jason aka Azzuro Hyperion said...

Hate to see ppl waste food like that. Hmmpph!