Happy Mother's Day

Today, I found out a little more about Mc Dave. I found out how sweet and thoughtful son he is to his mother. Today as we all know in Malaysia is Mother's Day. He called his mom, like every other sons and daughters should do and he gave his mom a little suprise. He somehow got a dozen of flowers sent to his mom. How sweet is that! Mind you, his family is in Sabah and he is here in Peninsular. From what I gather, he and his mom are really closely knit. He calls his mom every week once and tell her of the week's events and happenings. But she does not know of his sexual orientation.

Me on the other hand, am not close to my mom or dad. We are very detached. I don't know what is going on at their end nor do they know what is going on at my end. Very twisted kind of relationship I'd say. What is the cause of this detachment? It started when I was starting out primary school. My dad got a job overseas and they did not want to bring me along. Therefore, they left me in the care of my aunt and uncle. Surfice to say, I was not thrill with decision. I did not have a say really. But it had to be done. I can think of soo many other options but they decided this was the best. (Right.)

I remember running to the gate screaming at them to come back the day they left me at my aunt's. I remember not sleeping or eating for few days, demanding that my parents take me with them. It was a traumatic experience and no kid on Earth should have gone through what I had gone through. The hate for them did not sparked then, it grew in me as the years went by. There was this incident in school when I was in Primary Four, I suddenly broke down and cried before assembly started. All my friends were puzzled as to why the sudden outburst. I was missing my parents terribly. I just cleaned up and proceeded with the assembly. With my parents overseas, they were not involved with my schooling life. This went on till today. Many achievements I made, were celebrated by me and me only.

Another incident where I screamed at my mom, at the verge of actually hit her, was when I received my PMR results. I almost had straight A's. I was so excited and happy about it. (I did not get an A for stupid Bahasa Malaysia.) We were having dinner when my mom was saying something about my results but the word "fail" came out of her mouth. I did not know what she was talking about but I remember screaming, "I did not FAIL. I almost got all A's bla bla bla...". I threw my dinner plate away and kept on screaming. I ran into my room and just cried there. One good thing that came out of it was that they do not pressure me when it comes to education anymore. But my hatred towards them grew.

I could only wish to have the son and parents relationship that Mc Dave has with his parents. It is too late for me to forgive my parents for what they have done. These days, I just do not bother about it. All I will do now is that, I will do my end of the bargain as a child. I will finish up my education and will not depend on them in the future. So to everyone who is reading, treasure your family for there are worst things that could happen in your family and mine is one of the example of how bad things can get.

Lastly, Happy Mother's Day mother.

-Live Long & Prosper


joshua said...

Better by far you should forget and smile,
Than that you remember and be sad.

Cheer up, for soon, we will all be dead.

*virtual hugs* =)

confusticated said...

T'isn't the reason you should cry,
Forgotten child you may be,
While they gave you the chance to live,
Yours is your own, you see

All families are fucked. It just depends to what degree. Some people like me are deluded into thinking I have a perfectly normal family, then one day realizing how truly fucked up the whole thing is.

The Searcher said...

VIRTUAL HUGS FROM The Searcher too

Amazingly, I don't have a very close relationship with my dad too. He was rather distant, the typical COnfucianist parent!

Cybertron said...

congrats with ur smooth outng with Mc Dave. i think wat ever ur parents has done, its done but for ur own gud. u can choose frens but not parents. just give ur mum a call today. i hope u do. ;)

ceusm said...

uhmnn i remember one time when i'm the best student of my secondary school, n my mom went to school during the open day to take my report card.. But on the way back-she told me that tats because other student not working hard, n u're lucky to get to the top, otherwise i dun think u will.. Damn ass.. i cried immediately n my mom dun even care n say out a word!

Calvin said...

Sometimes when you see yourself from your parents' point of view, they did what they thought was best for you and I believe it must the best they could have done for you. So, it's no point in blaming them. Just be grateful that they have raised you until today. Without them, you won't be here today.

defiant85 said...

Thanks for all the kind words all.

Cibetronics - I haven't gone out with Mc Dave yet. It's happening end of this month. I did call my mom. Part of fulfilling my duty.

Calvin - Funny you should mention about my parents raising me. They didn't. My aunt didn't. Many times I have put myself in my parents shoes and there are many other better options that can be done. Oh well. There's only so much we can think of maybes and all. Dmg is done anyways no matter their good intentions.

Xavier said...

sorry to hear that, but seriously... there are many ways which thing could have been worse.

but the good thing is that u've grown to be strong and independent right?

be proud of that. :)

Kyle said...

even if it looked so fucked up it could still be worse. :)

dont hate them too much ya? there could be a reason behind their actions.

but then again, who am i to say?


executorlouis said...

I used to feel the way the way you do. Hatred festering for all the perceived wrongs they did me.

But time after time, i reminded myself that they are still my parents and even though they might have treated me unfairly sometimes, there are so many things which they have done for me that showed how much they truly cared for me beyond their harsh words. :)

savante said...

Hey, I call my mom on a daily basis too :) Postponed mine to next week though snce my bro's away.

For some guys, it takes a while to love their parents. perhaps now you're older, you can take a step back and look at your relationships and perhaps relate better to them.


Calvin said...

Huh? So who you raised you up? Who pay for your food, clothes, education? Who do you live with last time?

No matter what, I always believe everything happend for a reason and it is up to us to learn the lesson behind it. Hating someone is painful to us not to that person. So, why burden ourselves with the pain?

Alex said...

Don't worry too much dude.... you have us here... :) Smile ya!