Pork Wonderland

One really great thing about being in East Malaysia is that people here do not meddle into other people business much, they are rather open minded and live life along each other regardless of what background the next person may have. How many shops in West Malaysia with this sign "Babi Segar!" (Fresh Pork!)? How many graveyards in West Malaysia that has Chinese and Muslim graveyard situated right next to each other? It is a general consensus that East Malaysia must keep it's doors restricted period.

Nuff' said.

Back to the pork. There is this wonderful place that sells nothing but pork. Barbecue pork to be precise. Ten shops or so sells this and done in such rustic manner. Fire, pork and flip. With a little dip of specially made chili sauce, it tastes heavenly. Serve this along with a few bottle of beer (RM 10 for 3 cans) and dinner is served. This place never fails to be packed. I usually will pack and eat with friends over a movie.

Lotsa pork on the grill!

For those with strict diet, you have no idea what you are missing out. At least have a try and savour it before you take an hour run in the park.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Perfect Children

Watching Glee made me thought of something. The geek, nerdy, self centered and annoying Rachel Berry got me thinking. Honestly of all the characters, it had to be the one that I will strangle if I meet her in real life... Either way, it got me thinking about the perfect children born into a family of two gay dads.

What would they look like?

What would they be like in school?

What would they be when they grow up?

Que Sera Sera indeed.

The few things I do know that I want are their sex, school activities and list of careers not to take.

First, I prefer having boys. Very "little-soccer-team" family I know but I think having girls will give a load of headache especially when swarm of boys circling around her and high chance of her ending up a spinster. Good quality boys are an endangered species. They are sparse and they are highly probably gay. I would probably the terrifying dad when it comes to meeting my daughter's boyfriend. Every details about him will be scrutinized! So no girls for me or maximum one will do.

The boys will also excel academically along with sports, music, arts and literature. They can have their choice sport they like. Soccer, swimming, ice skating or fencing, whatever to keep them active, healthy and fit. I have always love listening to orchestras and now I can have live performance with my boys mastering strings, brass, percussions and woodwinds. Then to top it off, arts and literature. Be involve in drama classes or Glee Club!

Tall order, I know.

Scary, I know.

Can the boys make it through this boot camp? I am optimistic of it.

Well it is only until they start university. The list is just basic groundwork for them to build their future on. I believe they will do just fine. Tough being a kid these days huh?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Empty Spaces

The Doctor was here visiting for 10 nights, right after his trip to the UK. Poor feller was having jet leg and sleeping at odd hours following UK timing. That was a blessing in disguised, him sleeping while I was away for work during the day time and both of us together when he was awake. Not sure if he spent most nights observing me sleep.

We stayed in a service apartment, Princess Pei Pei's service apartment. She was kind enough to loan it to us to use while she was away in France (hopefully) flirting away with non-housewife-beater-looking European men. The place had all the necessities we needed bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and living hall. I practically moved out of my Red Boudoir and moved in with The Doctor. There we started our life of living together.It was a blissful 10 nights.

I wake up in the morning to prepare to go to work, he was already up making breakfast and lunch box for me.

I come back from work, he was making dinner.

I wash the dishes, he was playing with Happy Aquarium.

We sat on the couch, watched the tv and talked about how our day was and what we did.

Time for bed and the day starts all over again.

Soon enough, our 10 nights ended and we said our goodbyes in the airport. It was a sad occasion but no worries, we will meet again next month for Christmas and the New Year. Goodbyes are never easy though.

I went back to the apartment again to pick up some things I left behind. The place, even though identical in every way, felt very lonely and quiet. Only traces of memories of two people cheerfully talking and laughing linger as I stood at the door looking into the apartment. Flashes of images of The Doctor standing in front of the stove cooking delicious dinner. Everything I touched resurfaces the memories when he was here but I continued packing.

As I left the apartment I thought I heard The Doctor said, "Have a good day at work dear". I turned but all I saw was an empty space. I closed the door and left the apartment.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Red Boudoir

It took a year and the influence of Paul's constant furniture shopping spree did I decide to makeover my room into a boudoir! It all started with a red curtain. Not just any plain red curtain but red curtain with suade flower patterns. It is a pretty curtain and it quickly become the center piece of which I decorated my room around. Red is the theme of my boudoir.

Then I saw a medium sized carpet that completely took my breath away. Yes, it is red and it has a dark shade to it when you swipe it across. Two toned material. Nice! More than just a pretty carpet, it is extremely comfy to sleep on and roll on. Pretty and comfy. Pretty comfy. I really love the carpet. To make the carpet even more comfy and homey, pillows! Big or small, I need to have pillows on the carpet. So everyone can sit on the carpet, hug the pillow and chill.

My Little Red Boudoir

I think neon white lights are such horrid lightings for a boudoir. It did not take me long to find a lovely lamp. Dragging the huge box to KL Central, a flight from KL and retrieving it from the conveyor belt was all it took for this pretty hanging lamp to arrive to my room. Lovely yellow light emphasises the redness of the room.

Still, there are a few more items I need before my boudoir is complete. A lovely low tv bench to put in front of my bed, an iMac on the low tv bench, matching red quilt set and more pillows for my carpet. This would probably take me another year to do it.

Hmmmm.

How about a red beanbag to sit on?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Know Your Lyrics!

I have never really liked Macy Gray since her debut many years ago. "I Try" was the first song I listened to in the radio and it was the "it" song. Everybody knew the lyrics and everywhere I go, they surely will be playing the song. I admit, her hair did scare the crap out of me. It is a death trap for small creatures that unfortunately fallen into her hair.

But her hair was not the reason I disliked her. I did not know why I disliked her till a few days ago when Princes Pei Pei played the song. Then this verse came up.

I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Little did I know, the line "My world crumbles when you are not near" is the correct line and all these while, I have been hearing it as "I wore goggles when you are not here"... At that moment, I knew why I disliked the song because "I wore goggles when you are not here" did not made any sense in the entire song and that really bugged me whenever I listened to the song.

You can tell that everyone had a good laugh when I tried to correct that line to Princess Pei Pei.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Life Of Debts

Guess you can say that I have entered another phase of adulthood. I am well on my way to complete the infamous 5 C's. Car, Credit Card, Club House, Condominium and I have no idea what the last "C" is. I do not suppose it is Career? Whatever it is, I have achieved two now. Credit Card was first (bless the person who thought of it!).

And now for the second "C", a Car!

My new ride!

Finally my little own ride. It is not the Mini Cooper but it does the trick for me. It would be the perfect car for me if the engine has a little more "umph". It is annoying trying to overtake with this car or going up a hill.

But still I love my car very much. So far, I have washed, waxed and shined the car every weekend now. It is the monsoon season and I love driving in the rain but it is a bitch to wash of the stains from puddles of water. Stains are very noticeable against black background.

Having a car is amazingly liberating. Especially here where there are no public transportations to speak off and taxis do not run on meter. Best thing is when I am driving around and listening to music. The first CD I got is Madonna Celebration. Wonderful album I must say. No other perfect way to officiate my car.

As wonderful as having the car sounds, it comes with a price. A car is not something that can be bought with cash in hand but requires financial aid from financial institutions. So every month, I get my salary slashed to keep my pretty car. So part of life is living a life of debts?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Disconnected

In this day and age, being disconnected from the world is unthinkable. Not being able to contact a person in the stone age is understandable, not the 21st century where everyone is literally hot wired to the "network". But as Murphy said, "what can go wrong, will go wrong". Murphy's Law is a bitch, period...

It turned out my SIM card is busted... Busted on a Saturday after I paid my bills on Friday and after the lady asked, "How's your iPhone?". Very well indeed...

Try being surrounded by people while in a mall and your phone disconnected from the network. It's a very interesting experience. The feeling of disconnected despite having so many people around.

So very disconnected...

I want my connection back...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Sympathique

I was right about the splint being a magnet of attraction and sympathy. I could not take a single step without the "OMG. You poor thing! What happened to you?". Naturally, I smiled and replied to each and everyone of them the same answer like playing a broken record. I should have gotten a parrot and that would save me so much time and effort to explain. Or maybe a "I got Carpal Tunnel Syndrome" sign pinned on my shirt?

But I must say, they are kind to be concerned.

My supervisors were also deeply concerned. Can I type? How fast? Does it hurt? Were all the questions flying to me. Luckily I have a partner to help me out during my healing period. Sure I can do most of the work, just that typing is a bitch and holding a mouse is trickier than trying to pick a marble with a pair of slippery flat Korean metal chopsticks...

It was a very "Sympathize QR Day".

I was filled with so much sympathy that I could not help but show some of it to some of them in my office.

Person: Oh my. What happened to your hand?
Me: Ah just Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. No fuss.
P: That sounds serious! Do you usually get this disease?
M: Uh... STD is a disease. This is a condition...

I truly sympathize...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Reap What Others Sow

All week long when I was offshore, food wastes were tossed into the sea. Waste not, want not. What better way than to feed the fishes. They say looking at fishes swim about give a sense of serenity and it does. Maybe it is part serene and part amusement when the fishes fight for the food. It is good for the soul after all.

It is what I look forward to everyday to feed the fishes and watch them swim after a laborious day of work. Tossing food overboard from the platform and looking down onto the fishes chow down on lunch. Did not take the others to start fishing upon seeing swarms of fishes gathering around the leftovers. It is an easy catch after all when all the fishes are on frenzy feast.

Fish they did but it took a little ingenuity. These fishes are not as dumb as they seemed. Fishing hook must be kept well hidden in the bait. Bury the hook deep into the chicken wing or attach pieces of sausages around the hook. Fool the fish and you get dinner.

This bugger weights nearly three kilograms!

That is enough to feed a family of three but the fishes on my platform are considered small. The big fishes are on another platform and the size of it are huge! Think barbecue party for ten.

So perhaps it is part serene, amusement and amazement.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Favourite

After notifying my supervisors of my hand and wrist injury, I think they panic and went on an overly concerned mode. They kept asking about the orthopedic diagnosis and what the prognosis is. So much so, they kept trying to reach me and finally when they got a hold on me:

SV: QR, hello. How's the hand?
QR: It's alright. Just keeping it idle.
SV: Alright. I would like you to clear your leave. Take a week off. You've been offshore for far too long.
QR: Leave? Who? What? Why? Do you have enough people in the office?
SV: Yea no worries.

Honestly, I never saw this coming from my "Rule with an iron fist" Supervisor but I am not complaining. My other colleagues are envious but they are not surprised as they dubbed me as "The Favourite". I shall gladly take the leave. Well I am already into the leave in KL! The Doctor insists that I come back so he can work his "magic healing" on my hand and wrist through some sort of endurance training that involves the bed... I am starting to doubt he's a real doctor.

My poor disabled hand.

As for the orthopedics' diagnosis, it is a mild case of CTS. I am to keep my wrist immobile as much as possible to let the nerve heal naturally. This means less autoeroticism activities with the right hand, less typing, basically less everything with the right hand. I have to be a lefty till the right hand is better. So the doctor instructed me to wear a splint.

Claw of The Disabled Hand!

So unglam and straight right... Why could it not be pink with glitters?! I need rhinestones and turn it into an accessory ala Lady Gaga. However it is good for one thing, it attracts attention and sympathy! Yes I bask in attention and sympathy. Such attention whore I know.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Pulling Invisible Strings

Quote Yer how nice to have a doctor for a BF unquote. Wise words from Alexander The Gay while The Doctor was consulting him work related injury claim. Milk them for all they are worth as they say but unfortunately, no good news on the claiming. No matter, I got something else just as good.

Apparently The Doctor has been making many calls about my hand/wrist injury. Starting with the medic. I gasped and almost had a fit when I heard he called the medic. He called me but I could not be reached so he asked for the medic instead. I was expecting a lecture from The Doctor and wounded the medic's ego so much that he will jump off the platform and never to be seen again. No such thing happened.

Instead, it was the Medical Officer and Houseman authoritative communication system, "do as I say or I'll spank you in front of the patients". The Doctor insists that the syndromes are consistent with CTS and I should be sent home. More work will aggravate the condition. Lo and behold, the medic said alright and I'm going home tomorrow by chopper!

Talk about a medical evacuation.

The medic till now still is not convinced it is CTS. Muscle strain or nerve problem were his prognosis from repetitive work. Does that not sound like CTS... Better still he still thinks it is possibly gout, no matter how remote the chances of me getting that.

I will go to the hospital tomorrow and meet an orthopedic for a clinical diagnosis on my poor right hand. I wonder if I need a wrist guard... Are wrist guard the "in" thing now?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Painkiller The New Penicillin?

People only appreciate something once it is lost, definitely true with my thumb. No I did not loose my thumb but it's temporarily having restrictive movements and unable to handle stress and strain. Stress injury from work I reckon. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is a bitch or so I suspect it is CTS. Repetitive motion on my right hand mainly opening metal taps for sampling crude oil, weakness while using my thumb and pain when gripping on something. Sounds like CTS.

I went to the medic for consultation and boy was I amused. I explained to him the condition of my thumb, he took a look at it and felt the area surrounding my thumb. There's a slight swelling but nothing too significant like the size of a turkey drumstick. Just a little bigger than usual and it is soft.

Maybe it is gout he said even after asking if I've been having red meat for my meals. I don't overdose myself with protein if that was what he was going at. Not like I have much use for those excess protein here anyways. I am not lifting weights to build mass nor do I have bulky muscles to sustain them... I have even attempted to suggest that it may be CTS but judging from his expression I might as well have some exotic tropical disease like Ebola...

I think The Doctor was practically rolling his eyes when I told him what the medic said. He would throw a fit at the medic if he is here. Maybe a man overboard drill too. Gotta love The Doctor for his charms.

So what does the medic do when presented a patient that is experiencing the above syndromes? Give him painkillers and tell the patient to observe the following days. Sounds like the early days of antibiotic. Fever? Here have a jab of Penicillin.

I hope my thumb gets well in the following days. Shall give the thumb a little break. What a great excuse to be idle out here in the sea and feed the fishes!

I shall stop typing now. I do not want to risk injuring it more. How am I to perform my daily ritual of autoeroticism?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Those Aren't For You

The Doctor always say I'm too nice for my own good. Not able to say no to many things and when I do say no to something, I do it ever so gently and polite with a smile. I swear I was born to be in the service industry rather than in oil and gas industry. I can so imagine myself being the star barista in Starbucks or a dolly trolley air steward.

Take my recent encounter with a Jehovah's Witness. Apparently my aunt gave my number to this preacher with the assumption I might be interested to be saved by the Lord. If only she knew I like to take it up the rear. Then again, whoever thought I am straight are deft, blind and dumb in more ways than one...

So this preacher gave me a call and I get very weary when unregistered number calls me. I picked up the call regardless and he started introducing himself and all that jazz. It was rather long winded but I endured with my eyes constantly rolling in my eye sockets. When he asked if I was interested, I said "No but thanks anyways. Appreciate it much.". Silly bottom as The Doctor puts it.

The things I do to be nice but that slight irritation was considered mild compared this.

I share a room with another offshore technician when I'm offshore. It was a typical after working hours relaxing in the room. I was playing with my iPhone and my laptop was playing Janet Seidel. I was on the bottom bunk while he was on the top bunk looking down at laptop.

Then he asked if he could take a look at my laptop and I allowed it. Nothing to hide really except some files in "Unsorted Torrents" folder. Eventually he got to that folder.

Bummer...

Maybe he won't noticed the few porn I have stashed in there but he saw it! How can he missed it with title Cream BBoys or School Boys Gone Wild and he opened one of the file The introduction video rolled in.

OT: Oh what's this?
Me: Hmmmm those aren't for you. Close close.
OT: (he fast forward the scene) Wah. Are they trans?
Me: Uh no. They're real guys.
OT: Ooooo.

I couldn't tell what his expressions were. Amazement or confusion. Maybe he knew since day one he met me? Anyhow, I left him for further exploration while I chat with The Doctor over the phone. He did open a few more, I could hear the moans of pleasure from the porn.

Silly bottom indeed...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

QR Is Back!

Good gosh! My dear blog has been left unattended for two months and will you look at the virtual dusts that settled on it... Resuscitating a dying blog sure is hard especially when the momentum of blogging has been lost. I kinda feel a little weird typing this post even!

This is the price I paid for being ever so busy and workaholic at work, not forgetting the constant hitch offshore for several weeks. I'm well albeit tired from constant hard day's work, be it physical labour of the ever tiring job of "tai chi" paperwork. How else am I going to feed myself, yes?

Anyhow, I have several posts lined up for the coming days. So stay tune.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Sober

Hello.

My name is Queer Ranter and I am 24 days sober.

I have not has a single drop of alcohol nor have I had a sexual encounter since. I would like all of you to join me on freeing yourself from alcohol and sexual deviants. Discover what it truly feels to be alive substance free and addiction free. Salvation is at hand.

Come my sistas. Come into the light.

Clearly offshore is getting into my head real bad...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Cuddling Cuddles

The next morning was not filled much with exciting events. I was still too groggy to do anything. Just wished I could have slept for a few more hours. It was a very slow Saturday morning. Slow as it was, there were many things to prepare for the upcoming Christmas dinner. Those mostly involved hand and eye coordinations while our mouths constantly chattering of the latest gossips and munching some of the food that we made.

By night, the house was filled with guests. There was a theme for the dinner but it seemed that no one received the memo. I myself did not adhere to the theme. Lack of time to shop for clothes. But I was only interested in two things, the drinks and The Doctor. There was so much drinks that we had several bottles left unopened, enough for another party. I was very satisfied with the constant flow of Bailey and that made me drunk enough to start acting and talking silly.

Throughout the night, I was by The Doctor's side. The accidental glances, gentle strokes on his back and purposely resting my head on his shoulders. I craved for the intimacy from such physical interaction since that fateful cold night. It was truly public display of affection on my part.

As the night went by, alcohol started to take it's affect on everyone including The Doctor who's a sturdy drinker. Then something unexpected happened in the kitchen as I was thirstily seeking refills for my Bailey. I was alone in the kitchen and I felt someone was by the kitchen door. I turned to see and it was The Doctor. I just smiled at him and asked if he wanted a refill. He did not answer but instead he walked towards me. With his gentle hands he held the back of my head and kissed me.

What a passionate kiss it was.

The noise from the party faded away and I was in Cloud Nine. Nothing else mattered but to hold him tight. Felt like time stood still and it was going on forever but alas, slowly the noise crept in and I gained my bearings. I gazed into his eyes as he gazed into mine. What beautiful eyes they were and I felt safe in his embrace.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Blossoming

Eventually we arrived at Paul's abode. I could not tell what was Paul's expression of the uninvited guest that we invited. He welcomed The Doctor with such grace that one would expect from Paul, such uncanny resemblance to The White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.

While sitting on the couch next to The Doctor and watching Paul's family playing The Game of Life, Sam urged me to get closer to The Doctor. I was afraid the sudden close proximity might dismayed The Doctor but I inched myself closer to him regardless. I wanted to touch him, feel him but again something held me back. Sam forcefully took my right hand and put it on The Doctor's shoulder. Sam has always been the one to push me to take bold steps to what I wanted and I am grateful for that. I stroked him on his back and felt the warmth of his body.

Driving on the highway for three hours took a toll on me. Accumulate the driving and the fact that I only just landed few days back, I was extremely tired by then. A quick hot shower and change of lazy clothes were all I needed before sleeping. Despite sleeping on the carpet with bedsheets as covering and makeshift blanket, I slept like a baby.

That was until the temperature of the room went well below my cool climate tolerance. I began to shiver uncontrollably and curled up like a fetus. Bones quivering desperately to fight off the cold but it was to no avail. Finally, The Doctor who was sleeping next to me woke up and hugged me while stroking my body to generate heat. The quivers slowed down and I fell back into peaceful slumber in his arms.

His soft hands and tender strokes. Those were the last memory I remembered.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Tale Of The Doctor

It all started when The Doctor came into picture in our blogger group. He was the new "buzz", the "it" person and the new member into the family. Eventually this news reached this part of the world and it made me wonder who this person was with all the buzz generated. I opened his Facebook account and it did generate a slight interest but nothing more than just for curiosity sake.

As time went by, more news of The Doctor came to my ears. It seemed that he was not only the "it" person in the group but also the "it" person with suitors flocking from all four corners of the world. That raised my eyebrow even more because two of the suitors I know were two close people I know Sam and McDave. Put it this way, it caused quite a stir. I awaited for more news of The Doctor and his suitors to come like wives of WW2 await news from their husbands fighting on the battlefront.

Soon enough December came and I was back in civilization for the festive season of Christmas and New Year. The other doctor, Paul, was throwing a Christmas party in Malacca. A party which I have been missing and almost missed it. Sam and I decided we should extend the party invitation to The Doctor despite us being the guests to the party. The Doctor was hesitant at first but gave into the idea with much effort in persuading.

The agreement was we picked up The Doctor from his place and went on with our drive down South. He was standing on the curb waiting when we arrived. From the look on his face, it was obvious he would have died if he had to wait for another five minutes. It was not exactly the look I was hoping for. None the less, I decided to provoke him even more by honking and calling him a woman. He was not at all thrilled by it but it got the introduction going.

Somewhere along the drive something happened. I felt a certain attraction to The Doctor sitting on the passenger seat behind me. I could not help but constantly glimpsing at the rear view mirror while driving on the highway packed with cars. He was wearing his sunnies looking out at the sceneries passing by.

I felt I may have found the love of my life.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Instant Noodles

What is it about instant noodles that people around me seems to think that it is the most important bare essential food ever? Sure I have cravings once in a blue moon for instant noodles but to think it is survival food? I don't get that. Potato of the modern time? Our ancestors survived on sweet potatoes during the Communist rule and we survive on instant noodles.

I remember when I was in high school, instant noodles seemed to be the staple supper. Put the instant noodle and water into the bowl, pop it into the microwave machine and supper is ready. The instant noodle of choice back then was Indo Mee original flavour. I wonder if it's because the majority of the students were Indonesian.

I guess it's understandable when these people are out at sea. All they need is hot water and in five minutes they have a meal. Short lunch break leaves plenty more time to sleep or continue work. And for those night manning the platform, the instant noodle boxes are good enough substitute for a soft mattress. Lay the boxes on hard steel grating and you have a bed. I've heard they've fought over boxes before...

I can say working offshore has two extreme living conditions, luxurious and spartan. Luxurious living condition like on a drilling rig and spartan on the platform that only has the basic necessities but these are all a question of relative to what.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

The Guy Next Door Is...

Bulimic. Well it's just a wild speculation from one encounter. It was right after dinner time and I was in my room watching The Tudors. Two rooms share the shower and toilet. It joins the two room together but the wall's soundproofing quality is questionable. I can hear the shower like the rain outside the window. The toilet flushes like it's a blackhole sucking everything in in an instant, very loud indeed.

As I was watching The Tudors, I heard the sound of constant puking and constant flushing coming from the toilet. It didn't sound like natural puking. The intervals of the puking feels rather unnatural. No I'm no puke expert but I've done a fair share of puking on daily boats to offshore platforms to know what it would sound like.

I can still imagine the rhythm in my head.

Sticks finger in. A second of silence. Pukes. Flushes.

Sticks finger in. A second of silence. Pukes. Flushes.

That was how it was.

I was not disgusted but more curious as to why he did it, if it is true that he's bulimic. I can never bring myself to waste food like that. The food here is too good to be wasted like that. Just don't eat so much if weight is the worry factor. A little bit of everything will do.

Same goes to alcohol. You'll never catch me puking it out. Alcohol is just too good to be wasted like that. I treasure my alcohol very much.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Waterspout

There are many interesting things out here at sea. I got to see sea snake, turtle, lots and lots of fishes, lobsters and barnacles. Then there's always stories about waterspouts forming near the platforms but never seen one till yesterday. I wish I could say it was a spectacular sight and life changing experience but it was too far away to say so...

Still it was amazing to see the waterspout formed. The familiar nozzle shaped cloud approaching the sea and fast gushing winds flowing upwards forming a bowl shaped water curtain. Then slowly but surely the nozzle shaped cloud touched down on the sea surface. All the while when it was forming, I was in awe.

I just wished that it formed closer then I can take a photo of it as it happens.

Windy day on the sea.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Lean Mass Or Fat Mass?

Barely two weeks and I have put on a solid 2 kg despite the workouts!? This is an outrage! There is only one person to blame and that's me. Couldn't resist the food especially their western food. Pies, roast lamb, roast beef, meat loaf, meat balls and many more. The local food are pretty wicked too. You'd put on weight too if you were here I reckon.

One way to console myself, I'm convinced it is water retention or I've actually gained muscle mass on my legs. Don't burst my bubble now. I'm sure it's either one of the two.

Then today a miracle happened. I lost 800 grams! Awesome huh! Ok, maybe not the biggest achievement compared to The Biggest Loser. A glimmer of hope. Small and distant but still hope.

Must focus, my unworn newly bought trousers!

Oh and they make yummy fluffy pancakes for breakfast. Pancake and maple syrup are such a lovely way to begin the day with.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Say What?

I don't know why but people on the drilling rig are rather "angry" and always cursing when they're on the job especially the drilling floor. Fuck and shit seems to be the filler of choice whenever they're talking. It's a hardy job for them and they have to be hardy physically and mentally. To survive someone's got to be a little crazy and nuts.

Some more than others. Sometimes we just got to laugh to get it through the day.

That's not a good sign is it?

And this is my favourite. It was left behind by the contractors.

I wonder what "kerja panas" is going on.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Piracy Alert

When it comes to piracy, all of us are guilty of it I'm sure. MP3s, movies, tv series and etc. But this piracy I'm about to talk about is real piracy and not virtual piracy or DVD peddler piracy. Maybe not those Captain Black Beard of the sort. From what I hear, the pirates in this region wear some sort of bottom, topless and wrap batik cloth on their head.

I swear I'm not making this up.

Some of the offshore guys here I know told me their experiences being boarded or chased by pirates on speedboats. Apparently their speedboats are very speedy and outrun almost any boats out at sea. They even board offshore living quarters! They take everything like food, clothes, equipments and such. The people are only left with their underwear.

Warning! Pirate activity ongoing!

So to warn people around this region about pirate activities, they came out with this anti piracy network of a sort. When there's a distress some where, this printer will print what's happening, where and when. Real time too.

Though the region where I work is safe. It's too close to shore and too far from shady islands. I'd rather not encounter such thing thank you very much.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Stairway To Heaven

No I don't believe in it neither have I discovered an actual stairway to Heaven. It is this stairway I have to take each time I want to go to the platform or to the drilling rig. It's effing high and effing steep! Not only that, below is 70 ft fall into the blue sea. Effing scary!

Eeeeeeeeeeks!

One good thing from this is Brad Pitt buttocks here I come! Oh and burn them carbs and fats away! Not to mention my boots weighs a ton too. Helps accelerating the burn. Very lovely. I can see my legs are toning up. I'm very pleased with that.

It's just too much of a hassle to have to climb up these stairs up several times a day. Takes too long and too much energy. Makes me want to crash onto my bed after climbing it. Shall have to conjure Brad Pitt's buttocks and keep me focus.

Bubble buttocks...

Bubble buttocks...

Bubble buttocks...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Not The Only Queer In The Village

If Daffyd was here, he'd be very disappointed to not be the only queer in this island of steel. I can't bloody well prance and shout "I'm the only queer in the village" or wear various leather outfits around the drilling rig now can I? That would be suicidal. The rough-necks might just kill me for it or maybe rampant gang rape...

How loud can one really go?

There are three queers onboard including me. One is a guy I work with closely and the other is a chef in the kitchen. I suspect he's the one doing the baking of all those cookies and pies. Devilish person tempting me with all those carbs! Fear not, I have been able to resist the carb calling. Woohoo kudos to me!

Day one when I was here, the guy that I work with closely stood out like an elephant in the room. Imagine elephant with pink feathered boa and glitters all over. He's the only one with perfectly shaped eyebrows and here's the dead give away, perfume. Yes, he uses perfume. I can literally track where we goes by just following my nose. No one here uses perfume and everyone just smells of sweat, grit and grease. Well just towards the evening.

He's funny as hell though. Never a minute we don't burst out in laughter while doing work on the platform. We laugh louder than the noise made by the machines. Makes people working around us wonder what we are actually doing.

Ah fun times.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

What Is Weekend?

Barely a week and being offshore has already gotten into me. I'm used to missing out on friend's events or happening parties since I'm so far away from KL... Kinda feel sad sometimes that I can't attend them. There's a saying that I learned from university time, "Visit the people that you love and care when they're alive because it'll be too late to see them in their funeral.".

Anyways, I've forgotten the existence of weekend and I didn't even realised it until I was talking to Lazy Girl on the phone about work and my laundry. Yes she's sort of my senior at work and yes she's sending my laundry for wash. Cool huh?

So I was asking if she remembered to pick up my laundry from my house and of course she forgotten. Poor girl got too many things bugging her at work. I told her to just go see my housemate, who works in the same floor, today at the office and coordinate with her. Little did I know Saturday is a weekend. Weekend as in no work in the office. No work in the office means no one in the office.

Gosh...

What has happened to me. I'm working tomorrow~~~

Office is making unnecessary hoo-haa that made the nice-but-grumpy Company Man being grumpy. No one likes a grumpy man especially when you're stuck on an island of steel.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Cookies

I am turning into the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street... The galley makes the loveliest cookies I've had! Forget Famous Amos, this is the real deal! Crunchy, buttery and moist chocolate pockets. Pure bliss I tell you and the cookie stays fresh, crunchy and warm throughout the day too.

Cookie~~~

The worse thing is, the cookies are placed in a very "strategic" position. It is by the by side of the entrance in a display... Irresistible...

And to top it off, pies. They have pies!!! They display the pies next to the cookies! Are they trying to kill me with such savory temptations?!

Help me...

My new trousers that I bought. I must fit into it! Fit into it without muffin top~~~

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Just Because

Starbucks merchandise... Why do they come up with such pretty merchandise?! What is it this time? It is this take-away mug thinggie. Check it out.

Starbucks Merchandise~~~

See see. How can one resist?! It's a must buy because it's so pretty! Gosh such a "just because" purchase. I got one, I just had to then that lazy woman got the other two. Her reason, just cause there's one more so might as well just buy it. Crazy woman...

Someone buy me more Starbucks merchandise?

Please?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Lazy...

I have never met a girl who's so lazy in my life! She's not lazy in the normal sense. She gets her job done and works rather efficiently. no complaints whatsoever at work. But when it comes to everything else, she's the mother load of laziness... So lazy that she has a dictionary worth of lazy terminologies.

Lazy bag. A cloth bag that has no structure, just hangs as it is and most importantly looks lazy. If some of you have the what-the-fuck look, I don't blame you cause that was my first expression when she said, "I wanna buy a lazy bag.".

Lazy bags...

Then there's the lazy clothes. Basically, clothes that doesn't require any effort in putting on, feels comfy and looks lazy. I never knew there was such a clothing out there! No effort to put on cloths sure there's some out there. Comfy sure but looks lazy?! That takes some serious hunting for it.

I'm just waiting for the day when she asks for lazy food.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

You Were The One...

I was out shopping the other day with a friend. There's really only one shopping mall here that has the bare minimal of things for us to buy. Better than nothing I guess. But it is some kind of blessing in disguise. Not every trip, if not most trip, to the mall I come out with a purchase. So consider it a mild cardio workout without the burst in the pocket.

There we were in a shop that opened recently selling woman's clothings. They have some nice stuff but mostly clothes from Hong Kong (people here are very into the La-La and Beng-Beng style). As she was trying out some clothes, I was waiting for her outside of the changing room surrounded by mirrors. Naturally, I was staring at myself. Yes narcissist is me.

Then one of the two sales girls approached me and said, "Hey, you're the one who sat next to us on a flight back here.". I was looking at her as she said it but was bewildered. I don't recall flying back here recently. I don't recall flying out of here for that matter.

Me: When was this?
Sales Girl: Oh this was end of April.
Me: Oh gosh really? I don't even recall that flight. So long ago.
Sales Girl: Yea. We remembered.

That left me thinking what did I do that they remembered me so vividly. I don't usually, if ever, recall the person sitting next to me on a flight unless they really stand out. I'm either busy listening to my iPod, watching a movie on my laptop or playing with my iPhone. Nothing out of the ordinary really. Maybe I was reading a book then... I simply can't recall.

It was an outré encounter indeed. But more importantly, what did I do on that fateful flight?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Poco-Poco

Poco-poco is a dance originally from Indonesia and now it seems to be internationally known. The name originated from an artist who was observing a plump girl dancing in a festival. She was so amused seeing the girl danced and uttered the word "poco-poco" and then wrote a song about it. I wonder what "poco-poco" actually means.

But what is this "poco-poco" dance? Watch the Youtube.


It's basically a dance move that is extremely simple to dance to. Two rights, two lefts, one back, one front and one back and repeat until the song is finished. That's the basic steps and many versions have appeared since then.

Why the sudden blogging about "poco-poco" you may wonder? This dance has been a staple entertainment source whenever there's any sort of functions in my company. When I first heard about it in an induction program, I was flabbergasted. Literally a deer in front of the headlights, moments before the deer turned into a roadkill.

Then just the other day, I got dragged into practicing the "poco-poco"... Spent two hours doing it again and again and again. My knees... This dance is high impact and if I was to do it some more, I'd need a knee replacement. Though it got me all drenched in sweat. My first cardio in eons!

I'm more amazed at the fact that "poco-poco" is, was or kind of a world phenomenon! I was shocked when I was searching for a video clip of "poco-poco" in Youtube. This seemingly silly dance is actually popular out there in the world!

But you'll never catch me saying, "Shall we Poco-Poco?".

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

To The Floating Island of Steel

Morning folks!

I'm up at five in the morning, getting ready to go to work. Yes, it is five in the morning, it is a Sunday and it is a working day for me. We don't stop producing oil just because it's the weekend. I'm off to go to the drilling rig probably for two or three weeks depending on the manpower that we have to rotate.

I've never been to a drilling rig and I wonder what I will encounter this time. Weird man at sea like the Pinoys from my previous stay offshore? I'll keep you guys posted.

Toddles for now.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

iNase

This post is actually three months overdue. It's been lying in my draft, dusting away during my long hiatus but it's finally here, posted. It's it my unveiling of my iPhone to everyone in blogsphere! Like all of the gadgets I have, each has a name and this one is iNase after The Doctor.

My precious...

When Maxis first announced the iPhone, I went nuts and craved for it badly. I've been waiting for this phone to hit Malaysian shore for far too long and it was finally here. Since then, the iPhone has never disappoint and has delivered more with all sorts of applications available for download. I'm extremely happy with it despite having a few shortcomings like no MMS, no copy paste function and etc.

All that shortcomings are now history and loads more functionality with the latest OS 3.0. Want to listen to my playlist in my iNase while driving? Simple. Hook it up through bluetooth to the car stereo and play! No more radio transmitter hassle. Fantastic function! I've also been controlling my iTunes using a wicked application called Remote. And now it is possible to listen to the songs and watch movies from my computer through my iPhone using AirPhones. The possibilities are just endless.


Recently Apple unveiled the iPhone 3GS. Amazing improvements were done and still keeping to the same slick and sophisticated design. Double the processing speed, double the capacity and so on. Though I'm not tempted to switch to the iPhone 3GS. The improvements made were not significant enough for me. Sure it would be lovely to have Voice Control but I can do without for now.

Thanks to my dearest Doctor for assisting me in getting my dream iPhone. Though he still complains about not having able to video call me for Edison Chen sessions. He's such a skank and yet accuse me being a skank. Talk about pot calling the kettle black...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Online Obsession

Back in uni time, there was never a day I won't be playing computer games. DOTA was the name of the game back then. Then that went on a long hiatus right after internship. Internship taught me how valuable time is when all of my working days, twelve or more hours were spent outside of home. Time spent at home was very precious. Tranquility was highly sought after when working in the hustle and bustle city.

But these days, especially when I have ample time in my hands due to technical training, I've been busy clicking away in my Facebook. Not on profiles and comments and likes. It is MouseHunt! And real simple to play. Get a mouse trap, get a mouse bait and sound the hunter's horn every 15 mins to catch mice. Dead simple, easy peasy.

The real treat is to catch all the mice that are available in the game. Pretty artworks and considerable effort was put into the game.

This is an Assassin Mouse.

Very pretty artwork don't you agree?

And they're really creative when it comes to traps too.

Zugzwang's Last Move.

I just love the game. The simplicity of it and the amazing artworks. Give this game a go. It's really fun and amusing.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Watch What You Eat

I love my food very much. I enjoy cooking them and I enjoy eating them. Food is just too good not to be enjoyed. Though, food is best taken in moderation or it can lead to a myriad of detrimental health conditions. There are however a certain kind of food that makes detrimental health effects seems like a better choice of side effects.

One that I have been hearing constantly since I arrived is the infamous "Nasi Kangkang". I will attempt to translate it through literal translation. "Nasi" = rice and "Kangkang" = legs wide open. So that makes "Legs Wide Open Rice". Imagine ordering it in a restaurant.

Boss! Satu Nasi Goreng Kangkang campur Telur Mata dan Ayam Goreng!

Ewww...

Some say, the "dish" is prepared when the woman is going through her period. During this time, she will literally "kangkang" her legs and squat over a bowl of fresh hot steamy fluffy rice and let the magic do it's magic. Imagine the rich flavors permeating into the rice. Once all that is done, the rice is then served to the man of her heart's desire and will guarantee her hold on him perpetually.

Personally I don't buy into these superstitions or legends. It's just too far fetched for the likes of me to take it into my train of thoughts. I know they say the key to a man's heart is through his stomach but this is a bit much isn't it?

They also say the natives here are very "powerful" with their black magic and they enslave men through this method for a better living. I really don't know what to say about that statement. From my experience, they're really jovial and friendly people. Maybe that's because I'm not messing with their daughters, who knows?

As for the "Nasi Kangkang", that's just plain weird...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Big Toys For Big Boys

It really awesome working in the oil and gas industry. Big toys, big machineries, hard steels and hardhats are all part of the job. Grit, grime, brine and oil is part of everyday operations. If you're not doing work, it shows on your coverall and boots. Stains on the coverall and scratches on the boot surface are tell tale signs. But those are nothing compared to the rare occasions that a drilling rig (rigs and platforms are different things) comes along.

The photo is an example of a drilling rig. It's humungous!

This thing drills really deep.

I haven't been on this drilling rig yet but sometime next week I will. I wonder how's it like in this gigantic floating island of steel. I heard the galley is awesome and serves good food too.

Oh nos~~~

Fats!!!

Must resist.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

I Need Wheels!

Nine months of working and hitchhiking to go to and from work, I have decided to get a car. Not having a car and be mobile is getting into me. It's not convenient to move around grocery shopping or for an outing with friends and none of us having a car. Taxis here use fix rate. That's twenty bucks to the city. One way. And another twenty bucks going back. Madness.

So I set out to find what cars I'd like to have and I decided on three options. Toyota Vios, Perodua Myvi and Proton Satria Neo. But it is unlikely I'll be able to afford the Vios with a hefty price tag of 75 thousand minimum... I'll have to forgo that option. Sigh. I'm rather wary of owning a second hand car and the price is close to owning a new one. No point really...

Between the Myvi and Satria Neo, I'm not sure which. I've driven the Myvi but have yet to try the Satria Neo. I do like the Myvi but it lacks in engine power I feel. It could use a little push in that department I reckon. Anyone using or driven a Satria Neo before?

My dream car... If only the Vios isn't ridiculously expensive.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Heatwaves

Normally people would complain about the weather being inconsistent like Katy Perry's Hot and Cold. It'll drive anyone to the brink of madness having sudden rain every five minutes. It's just as bad when you know the weather is going to be consistently scorching hot, day and night. Imagine 35 degrees Celsius constantly in the room...

Worse is at night when the weather is cool outside but the heat of the entire house is trapped in my room and the bed starts to act as a heater giving off trapped heat accumulated during the day time. Talk about the Greenhouse Effect in the house... I'm very tempted to turn on the air conditioning but it takes a lot of power to do so. Poking a gigantic hole to the rooftop has crossed my mind before. The only way to combat off the heat is a freezing cold glass of drink (the drinks even warm up to room temperature in minutes...), being in the nude and constant trips to the shower. Even that doesn't stop me from sweating like I just did a full Ironman Marathon.

Being surrounded by jungle fires does anything but make the weather cooler. Seems to be the season to start jungle fires for new crops. It got so bad that every night, smell of smoke permeates the air and constant haze. Even in such condition, I spotted my buffoon neighbour burning garbage in the open. What's wrong with throwing garbage into the garbage bin?

Weather forecast says it'll rain for the entire week. I really do hope it does. In fact, I'm hoping for a tropical storm. It's been awhile since it hit the city. Shall I do my native rain dance with my rain stick around the house?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Retrospection

Emails between the blogging group have been awfully silent these days. Perhaps it could be just me, not being included in the list since my move here to the Borneo Island. Never the less, it just seems very quiet. I do miss the days getting torrents of emails every hour. But then again, back then I have the luxury of time to actively spam replies back.

Even the chats have been a thing of a past. I used to have at least five window chats open at any given time but not anymore. I've only been chatting with a constant few online every night, namely The Doctor. It's either I'm busy or they're busy or I'm just feeling tired and sleeping early. Such is the consequences of work and horrendous weather.

In a way, I am glad that we had our Thailand trip two years back (gosh it's been that long...). A piece of memory I cherish dearly. First time ever to travel with so many queers to a foreign land, moreover to the Land of Smiles, the Land of Heritage, the Land of Shopping, the Land of Masseurs and Land of Beautiful Boys. I would love to return to Bangkok one day. So much more to discover and so much more to shop!

I shall make it an effort to travel at least once a year to any country. Plans to travel next year have already been planned with The Doctor. I'm thinking of going to Melbourne to visit as well and I do hope there's cheap flights for it. Snowboarding during the winter with The Doctor, my sister and brother in law. Sounds like a perfect plan.

Well there's no use in dwelling in the past. Will have to do with the present and make it better.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Winds Of Change

Yes! I'm back from a few months long hiatus. Plenty things have change, yet plenty have remained the same. For one, I've decided to change the outlook of my blog again. I needed something new for my blog. Something a little brighter and cheerful but nothing too overly colourful. This template is just nice for my liking.

Updates on the career front. Things are going well though most of the time, I'm away for trainings. One and a half month worth of training is taking a toll on me. Slacking creeps in. I do hope I can build enough momentum to start working at my normal pace again. I'm now a permanent staff at work too. My probation period is over. Woohoo.

Updates on my love life. Things between The Doctor and I are going well with the occasional bumps here and there. It's been half a year come this month. He was here for Gawai long weekend. All my housemates were away and I had their car to drive around. We went grocery shopping, we cooked, we drove around sight seeing, we camwhored, we made noisy bonking and watched Twilight (we fell "asleep" halfway). A glimpse of what domesticated life we'll lead if we were to move into a house.

Updates on me. I am now officially the Domesticated Fairy. I go grocery shopping and cook for the house. Only on weekends though cause that's when I have the whole day to prepare. I'm slowly collecting and learning cooking recipes.

That's all the updates for now. I'm sure more will come as I blog. Feels good to be back.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Emily?

Not just one but TWO Emily!!! Yes, two trainees are being assigned to me starting Monday for a little project of updating our ancient useless database. So I get to manage them and be bossy on them. Shall I take a roll of Miranda Priestly? Nah, I'm too nice of a guy to drill them like that.

Seven months into the job and already I have two people temporarily reporting to me. How fun is that! My supervisor says, "its time to expose you to managing people". It just gets more interesting each time. More responsibilities are passed to me and my schedule gets busier and busier. A lot of planning and coordinating. I have to say, I'm slowly enjoying it.

Job satisfaction? 110 percent!

Sure I was extremely tired for the past week but hell I got things done. I even brought home work! Me?! Working at home. How out of character... Perhaps there's some truth in "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down". Not too much sugar though or you might just get diabetes.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Now EVERYONE Can Read!

Take a moment to think this. What was the last book you finished (cover to cover) reading? Are you reading anything at the moment? If the answers are no and no, then shame on you! No matter. If the reason is no time, the solution is make time! If the reason is book is fark expensive to buy in Malaysia I have a solution.

Behold cheap cheap books for everyone here!

Don't get me wrong. I love Kinokuniya very much but I love my wallet more. Yes the typical Chinese in me is irresistible to cheap cheap buys like these. I nearly went out of control buying books when I was in the shop. Thank goodness I only had limited amount of time to browse as they were closing or I might just come out with a trolley filled to the brim with books.

These are the books that I got.


Both of these books only cost under RM 40 total! That's equivalent of an average one paperback from Kinokuniya! This place may not have all the books out there but its got a fairshare of books. There's no delivery service so you'll have to go to the shop located in Ampcorp Mall to buy the books. But do check their website for their booklisting.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Sista Sista In Search of Pai Kuat Wong

Shit! Fuck good man! That was my expression when my teeth sank into the crispy and crunchy outer skin soaked with a sprinkle of sweet sauce and the meat so succulent and tender. Worth the drive to Klang and through countless traffic jams for it. It reminded me of the movie Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.

We were stuffed after eating fried mince meat balls, assam fish, fried fish, pork knuckles in vinegar, tofu with minced pork, pork ribs, water convolvulus, pickled vegetable and seven glasses of soy milk. Its quite a feast for only four of us to eat. Even the shop owner was surprised that we managed to finish them all. What can I say? Good food is wasted if not finished right?


Credit goes to Prof P for bringing us all the way to Klang from KL! He sure knows where to go for good food. Never fail to fill me up with delicious food whenever I'm in KL. You wouldn't believe how many things I can't eat now because he just spoiled them for me with the finest food. Hawker to fine dining, my benchmark has been raised to an impossible level to satisfy anywhere else.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Credit Crunch? Where?

Recession. Is it here? Is it real? Is it my problem? Urban legend? Urban myth to scare us off the Boogeyman shopkeeper? Well whatever the diagnosis and prognosis of this decade's economic crisis, I did a little shopping... I can't believe my eyes too but I did it.

This time, I shopped for a bedside table and table lamp... My new found faghag and I went round the city in search for that perfect bedside table and table lamp. Took us a good five hours for them too but it was worth it.

This is what I got.


Total expenditure, RM 250!

Not exactly IKEA but it does the trick. The thing about shopping for furnitures and lamps, it gives me more idea of how to decorate my room. A table like this would do nicely. A cabinet like that is just perfect. Oh I want that lamp! And it just goes on and on. Financial death trap I tell you.

At least now I know what this place has to offer. So next purchases are lights (I hate my room florescent light), table for my laptop and cabinet for extra storage. Gosh, decorating this room is like a new hobby or something...

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Say What?

Food makes people say strange things I reckon. Especially when you're all drowsy and stomach bloated till you feel like you're going to pop with a prod.

Me: I wanna get an iPhone!!!
LPY: I'm just going to wait for the BlackBerry Storm.
Me: So racist... "BLACK" Berry...
LPY: So self indulgent... "I" Phone...

It is extremely hard to laugh when you're stomach is bloated but hell it was hilarious! Gotta love these spontaneous hilarious jokes.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Cook Up A Storm

Celebrating Chinese New Year away from home means I won't be able to see my family, my friends and most importantly eat Chinese New Year food! I want my pork dishes~~~ No point whining about it so my friend and I decided we shall cook pre Chinese New Year dinner last night. We had so much food! It could feed the whole of Africa I reckon.

Take a look at the ingredients I got just for my two dishes, stir fried mixed vegetable and braised chicken with mushroom.


Hmmm fungus, pork, chicken and vegetable~~~
Took me two hours to get those ingredients washed, soaked and cut. Very tiring process but it was worth it. The end products are just yum! Another two hours of cooking later, we got these!


Itadakimas!
Stir fried mix vegetable, braised chicken with mushroom, stir fried asparagus (in the container), herbal chicken soup, dessert and alcohol~~~ With just the three of us eating, we didn't finish the food. I foresee it will feed me for a good week.

But now the nightmare begins...


I hate washing dishes...
I'm so proud of myself for being able to cook Asian dishes! Never knew it was so cheap too! The stuff I bought above total to RM 50.60!!! So cheap, so much and so nice!

I'd like to thank my lovely Doctor for giving me links to the recipes. Love you lots.

Happy Cow Year Everyone~~~

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Good Old Times

My Google Chrome opens three default tabs every time the browser opens. GMail, Facebook and Queer Rant. Knowing the blogger gang's ability to spam a hundred mail per day, my email is the first thing I'll read through. Not just that, I get my comments emailed to me too. Explains why the prompt response to some.

This is followed by Facebook. I'm a Facebook addict in denial. I simply love Facebook and I don't know why... Guess I'll never know what I'll find reading through the news updates. Like "oh my he's got bod!" or "that's the boyfriend?!" and such. Not to mention how amused I am seeing so many comments on me changing my status from "Single" to "In A Relationship". Never thought it would cause such a hype too...

Anyhow, I was browsing through the uploaded photos that my friends upload and I saw this.


It's an extremely ancient photo of my primary school time. I spent some time looking for myself even! This photo was taken 16 years ago. Fancy that! Sure brought back many memories of my childhood.

Have fun trying to look for me in the photos. Clue, I was scrawny back then.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

But I Just Wanted...

A belt. A freaking belt! Singular item! One thing! Satu bende! 一个! And guess what happened when I went to shop for a belt with my clubby friends? I went out of the shop with a tie and a shirt... This was after my shopcapade... My credit card limit~~~ Well I didn't reach my limit. No where near actually but it did blow a hole in my pocket none the less. 

Sighs but I LOVE my the things I bought!

This was the extra buy, the shirt and the tie. I love the combination. A little American Flag tie but am totally in love with it. It's totally hawt! And the cardigan, I can just melt staring myself in the mirror. Yes I'm full of myself today (bite me) but with good reason too.


Functionality Meets Fashion.
I was out in Popular bookstore during lunch time. Was in desperate need of men's fashion magazine. My usuals are GQ and Men's Folio. Those are the only ones I can find here anyways and the rest are in Mandarin. As much as I love ogling at the models, I actually read the articles as well (breaking news to some).

Anyhow, as I was paying for my copy of Men's Folio at the cashier, the girls and two of them might I add were giggling prolifically. I thought there was something on my face like mayo from my Spicy Chicken McDeluxe or chilly sauce from the fries but it wasn't. Then I looked at the girls trying to figure it out. The look that they gave me... It's one of those giggle and look that says, "OMG he's cute!".

I know I know but I'm not just saying this. I really am not. I know what that look looks like. I do it all the time and well this is the first time I'm noticing it on someone else first hand and they're looking at me! Swoons being the operative word here.

Guess it was a good impulse buy that shirt and tie.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

I Feel Alive Again

It's been a long while since I've read a good book. So long in fact, I've forgotten what's it like to read, letting the book take me where the writer wants to take me, the smell of a book and the feel of the texture on each page as I turn to read the next. I love my book and how I could go on for a good few months or was it a total year without reading is beyond me.

This morning was a perfect setting for me to start reading again. Sun is shining bright but it was a windy morning. Perfect to laze on the bed reading a good book and what book was it? It was a present from Sam for Christmas. Thanks Sam.

The Manny by Holly Peterson. Looks like a chic lit doesn't it?

Rat Rat's futile attempt to chew on paper...

Chic lit or not, I'm curious to know what the story turns out.

MANNY [MAN-EE] N: A nanny of the male persuasion.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Girl You Ain't Proud Of It!

The strangest thing happened at work yesterday. My senior come out to me. Oh yes you read it right, he came out to me while we were on our way to a workshop. Maybe coming out isn't the right term. He's loud and proud and all but people in the office still wonders why he's not married. Seriously... How can they even think that...

Imagine, he even does the snaps. Here's how. Start with right hand on the naval, makes a circle outwards and ends with a snap. Attitude is the key. That's his salutation with one of my girl colleague from uni. Yes, such queen diva he is in that sense.

I know I'm not much of an actor when it comes to acting straight but I just don't do loud and proud here. This place isn't KL. This place isn't Singapore. I'm not feeling adventurous to find out what people think about homosexuality nor do I want to change whatever their perception is.

He was asking a bunch of general questions about my past.

Do I have a lover?

How many previous lovers?

Where do you club?

It was a rather awkward situation, working colleague and all. I'm not the sort to shit where I eat so this was totally unacceptable. Well no matter, we have to look out for each other so I keep his secret and he keeps mine. He did mention that if I need to talk to anyone about it he's alright with it.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

A Bowl-ful Of M&M's

A bowl-ful of M&M's helps the medicine go down or at least that's how it would be if Mary Poppins had M&M's. This is no ordinary M&M's I tell you and no they're not peanut M&M's either. They're Peanut Butter M&M's! The last I could recall, I had these in Aussie but couldn't find it here ever since then.

But as fate would have it, I found them while I was out hunting for candycanes with The Doctor. It was after New Year so no such luck on the candycanes. So I was randomly walking in one of the aisles of this supermarket located in Jaya One and I found Peanut Butter M&M's!!!

Rat Rat getting his little paws on them Peanut Butter M&M's!

Such a delightful treat to have found it being sold in Malaysian shore. I didn't want to open the pack but it's been such a tiring week for me (post viral infection drama) and I just want a nice treat for myself. It's divine combination to eat peanut butter and chocolate together. Yummy!

Do you know what else comes to mind when it comes to peanut butter and chocolate? Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Hmmm such sinful delights!

Gosh... It's heaven~~~ I should have hunted for it when I was getting my Peanut Butter M&M's... Next time round then. I shall stock up on chocolates.

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Awwww Cute Doggies

Gotta hand it to my brother in law. He finds the funniest things on Earth to watch some times.

Just like this little cute commercial advert.


Just a random thought, The Doctor loves dogs.

Anyhow, it doesn't matter with how many guys you're doing it with, just remember to use rubber. If dogs made of rubber can look that cute, so can yours. I think... Doesn't sound right now does it?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Oh So Very Queer...

This actually took place when I was out with my clubby friends to a mamak/shisha place to chill. This is also where we first encountered the "Islamic Beer". Finally gotten around to uploading the photo for all to see. The so called 99.99% alcohol free fermented malt drink...

Come grab your Islamic Beer!!!

Halfway chilling while enjoying our "Islamic Beer" it started to pour like a typhoon hitting KL. Rain water was splashing all around us and even the hut that we were sitting in was leaking! Wet blanket was definitely the understatement of 2008 that night. Everyone's mood just gone sour at that point.

Everyone agreed that we should just call it a night. Problem was, it was still raining and the waiters were all sheltered in the main building. One of us had to go and pay the bill. Out of the blue, everyone started to toss loose change at me to pay the bill. Obediently I agreed.

But suddenly I realized, "I can't pay the bill. I'm wearing FABRIC shoes! You pay.".

Then he replied, "I can't! I'm wearing suedes!" and tosses the money to the guy who was wearing leather shoes.

Poor sod came back to us with his trousers wet up to his knees. At least his feet weren't wet. Hehehhe. Well he did muttered and muttered loudly for all to hear, "Women...".

I love my shoes too much just to get them all wet. They're my precious.

How queer can I get huh?

You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter

Lonely Is The Night

It's two forty in the morning and I'm still awake. Been trying to get a proper sleep but I kept waking up every three hours like clockwork. The medication is not drowsy enough. Now it's raining and everyone is already asleep. It is a Monday morning after all.

Even The Doctor is asleep. I miss hearing his voice. Cold night and alone awake, tossing and turning in my bed. I just wish I can listen to him speak over the phone.

Lonely is the night indeed.


You know you love me.
XOXO
Queer Ranter